• Quote of the Day
    "It’s not the size of the step that gets you there. It’s the fact that you’re taking the step."
    Mark Victor Hansen, posted by Daniel

Emeraldfire

Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2004
Messages
11
Points
1
I have suffered alot of misfortunes all at once; job loss, illness etc. and have felt there to be nothing beyond the horizon. I tried to commit suicide last Sunday and am still suffering from the injuries sustained. Where exactly am I supposed to go from here?
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
37,671
Points
113
Yikes! Well, first of all, Emerald, does anyone realize that was a suicide attempt? Is your doctor or the local hospital aware of this?

Where you definitely should go from here is to find an experienced therapist/counsellor and make an appointment as soon as possible -- talk to your doctor or to hospital staff about where to find someone. I have no doubt that things in your life feel completely overwhelming to you at the moment but it is amazing what you can do when you break down all those huge overwhelming tasks into small manageable steps -- any good therapist will be able to help you do that, as well as point you to other resources available in your area to help you.
 

Emeraldfire

Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2004
Messages
11
Points
1
I went to see the GP about the injuries and she acted strangely, kept pressing me about why I battered myself ktl. So I have to go to the psychiatric clinic on Friday... don't feel too keen on drs and the moment.
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
37,671
Points
113
Try to approach this with the viewpoint that the objective is to help you work out the problems you're facing in your life, not to annoy or punish you.
 

Kanadiana

Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2004
Messages
377
Points
18
Emeraldfire said:
I have suffered alot of misfortunes all at once; job loss, illness etc. and have felt there to be nothing beyond the horizon. I tried to commit suicide last Sunday and am still suffering from the injuries sustained. Where exactly am I supposed to go from here?

Hi Emeraldfire,

Hey ... I know your song you're singing right now and I suspect you feel, right now, all the same ways I felt about 4 years ago when i did the same thing, because of the same/similar reasons.

I imagine you're still feeling pretty stunned and shocked from all the whammies... too many major losses all at once... etc My issue that crashed me was physical, and I lost work, income, vehicle,home, self-sufficiency, relationships, self-respect, and hope. My future, as I understood it, meant a wheel chair soonandI was a single mom... with a lousy prognosis to care for myself and my teenage daughter ... my mind crashed too obviously. I was maxed out physically and mentally, figured my daughter needed me out of her way and needed better providing for ...bingo ... suicide. I survived, thank god, but that was the beginning of a very very DEEP depression and down hill from there... for a long while. I'm only now recovering and the doc was wrong to give me the impression regards my health prognosis ... sad huh?

My advice right now, is if the horizon looks bad, or non-existant, don't lookat it right now. The future will resolve itself. First try to stand still and have a look at things. Once you've been able to do that, THEN you can start figuring out where you want to go with things, and what you've got to work with.

Just pull your focus right back to the here and now and look at what you need right this minute/time and try to get those things happening for yourself.

Sounds like you need much "practical" help and/or advice right now and seeing some one would be a great way of trying to prioritize, as well as maybe considering asking your doc about things to help you manage the depression atc while you go through this hard part.

I know how you feel about docs etc ... me too, but they hold the info and the prescription pads and referral powers for any meds or professional help that could ease you through for now.

If you're anything like I felt back then, you probably don't have a lot of energy to cope and motivate yourself either. Do you have family or friends that are helpful and supportive who don't sit in judgement of you for the suicide attempt?

One minute at a time...okay ... you'll recover again.

Been there, Done that, Kanadiana
 

Kanadiana

Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2004
Messages
377
Points
18
Hi Emeraldfire,

I hope you're still checking in here?
You've been on my mind a whole lot ... I hate to think
of anyone going through what I did alone, like I worry
you are currently doing.

How are you faring right now?

K.
 

Kanadiana

Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2004
Messages
377
Points
18
Emeraldfire said:
Not too well with the dreadful neighbours right now

Hi. What's with the neighbors?

I know it's probably pretty hard for you to squeeze out talking (I'm just guessing) I remember feeling like "what's the point" back then, when I didn't get the responses from people I needed :( Easier to just say nothing. And most people tend to get the heebie geebies when they know you've just attempted suicide.

By the way, my own attempt wasn't an emotional storm impulse. It was very planned for about 3 months while I worked out details and took care of a lot of things and timed for when my daughter was visiting her Dad in the States and would be with him and her other relatives.

I was completely serious that this was the "right" thing to do. A little extremist, huh?

What do you need currently? What are the most important and pressing things?

I know that "thinking clearly, or even hopefully right now has got to be hard, if not impossible for you.

I'll be here off and on today but very soon will have to be accessing the net from library so I won't be on every day like I am right now :( But I'll b around when I can until I'm reconnected in a month or two.

<hug>
 

Emeraldfire

Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2004
Messages
11
Points
1
The resident directly aboves me plays thumping loud drum noises perpetually which cause panic attacks. Mundane as it is, that is a most immediately pressing thing. Also employment prospects are at zero and I am most unwell physically. I am at the best of times a bad planner, but I have prepared an overdose of a medication along with an antihistamine.
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
37,671
Points
113
All right. So you've prepared that option. Now put it away somewhere out of sight. There's really no rush to use it, is there?

Go to your appointment on Friday, and then take it an hour or a day at a time... what do you have to lose? Your current option will always be there if you want it to be there -- why not wait a little and consider some of the others, even if you aren't immediately aware of what they may be?
 

Kanadiana

Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2004
Messages
377
Points
18
Emeraldfire said:
The resident directly aboves me plays thumping loud drum noises perpetually which cause panic attacks. Mundane as it is, that is a most immediately pressing thing. Also employment prospects are at zero and I am most unwell physically. I am at the best of times a bad planner, but I have prepared an overdose of a medication along with an antihistamine.

I KNOW how that can be. Your BODY and MIND really need relief from the intensity of stress on your body in mind when you least have the ability to cope with all that.

Now, for you (and I've been there too!!!) is not the time to think and make major decisions, especially about life or death right now, because its your current suffering and pain, fears, and tiredness that are doing your thinking for you.

NOW is the time for ACTION ... you need relief now, and that can be had without the extreme of the total relief that suicide brings. You want relief in your life, and trusting and patience are hard to feel right now.

If I were in your shoes, but knowing what I know based on my own experiences with when at my worst and suicidal, I would have preferred life, but better all round ... well, I'd even go to a hospital emergency and say ...

"Look ... I'm absolutely suicidal and just don't have the energy or hope to fight this all by myself and I need help and relief. And I also attempted suicide recently ... I've lost everything important in my life, and I need help handling all this. I can't handle this alone right now, and don't even want to try."

You need the relief and luxury of letting yourself collapse right now, in a safe place, where you don't have to think, and where medsand assistance is available to help you to recuperate and recover enough energy and will to start tackling things again. And you will. Trust me, if you don't trust yourself. Please? I really have been where you are right now.

I know you certainly wouldn't have posted in here if there was no glimmer of hope in you. The part of you that says, I want to live, but I want to live with out all these things I feel and am having to experience and am afraid I haven't got the energy.

Now back to you... I'll be watching for replies from you okay!

<hugs>
 

Emeraldfire

Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2004
Messages
11
Points
1
I've been referred to a psychiatrist, but no more than that. The hospitals are less tolerant with suicidal cases.
 

Jaine

Member
Joined
Sep 16, 2004
Messages
25
Points
1
Hospitals can only do so much ie. fix wounds, give you antidotes to medicines you Od on the rest as i've been told is up to us and sometimes well i know for me i never know the answers or how to deal with things so its a matter of going one day at a timje and hoping someone will catch you before you fall however long or short it is. I know how it feels to keep going like a robot and hiding your feeling inside hell i do it 24/7 but you can't resort to killing yourself... i know im being hypocritical considering my plans but you seem to have a lot to give and yes you have had a tough time but why let it beat you? Have faith and you'll fly... have courage and you can beat anything I know you can all find that inner peace with in you and live longer safer and most of all happier lives you just need to keep fighting those negative barriers stopping you from seeing it achieving it right now but you can and will providing you hold on.

Even by coming to these forums you are seeking support and help and we give it as best we can David spends a lot of time and energy helping people so trust him and let him help you find that inner peace!

I wish you all luck on your roads to happier lives, take care
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom