More threads by ^^Phoenix^^

Once again, I have just heard another person on the T.V. discussing how much they hate this time of year.

Well I LOVE this time of year, and I just wanted to share some of my thoughts about it. Whether you are religous or not religious but still celerbrate during the holiday season you should be having a good time. I apologise to some, because I am only really aware of the christian 'christmas' traditions, and not really any of how other religions will be celebrating.

Ok, first things first:


Well actually, I think that stress is going to be the main factor contributing to the seasons ill feeling, so first I am going to address anything that I think can help.

First off, food.

1) Turkey, ham, pudding, chocolate, candy, booze.... pleasing everyone is NOT going to be easy. My main thought is that christmas, and indeed all holidays, are the times when you are forced with your family, and you all should be having a good time. This often doesn't work, lol. So! Do not accept being the only one in the kitchen!! likewise, do not allow yourself to be kicked out of the kitchen. If a Christmas row is in the cards, you may as well be out with it. Even if your Kitchen is tiny small small small, there should be at least seven people in it (Unless you have less than that at the house) knocking into each other, getting food in their hair, bumping heads etc etc.

If you are expected to be the sole person in the kitchen, then thats fine too! It means you have cart blanche (if thats spelled right) to make - what ever the hell you want. If you get any complaints, here is a line to try out (can be used for any age group) -

Request - "I want pumpking pie for pudding"
Answer - "That sounds like a lovely Idea, you get started then, and I'll help you when ever you have a question!"

What I am trying to say is, everyone in the house/dwelling that is capable should be helping with the events. No one should be a host/hostess on christmas. Also what you serve isn't important either! If you don't want the fuss of a turkey, make a stew! The main idea is that with the food, you don't put pressure on yourself. If ANYONE requests something in particular, get them to make it, offering your guidance and help. (Obviously, others will require more help than some). Not only will it get some stress of you, but will give you some 'bonding' time with that person, and also, give whoever it was something to show for dinner! "Look what I made!!!" etc. Proud kiddies around the table eating food because they helped make it is very satisfying!!


Don't invite people around that you cannot fart in front of.

Ok, You don't need to take this literally - But I feel that if you cannot be yourself around someone, then you will be being someone else, and you should not have to deal with that pretense over the holidays. If you want to wear sweats all day, then you should be able too. Don't forget that its your holiday too. If someone is going to be around your house making snide remarks at you, then you really don't want them there. And I mean this, It doesn't matter WHO they are, inlaws, neighbors, parents, siblings... If you are uncomfortable being around them then don't include them.

Obviously, this will have a back lash, perhaps your brother in law will decide not to come, because you haven't invited your mother in law. Well, Don't be offended, you will have some people that are put in an akward situation, but remind yourself of one thing: if your previous encounters had been good with the not invited, you would be inviting them. Do not feel responsible for anyone, if they are not included in your plans, they will be included some where else, and if not, perhaps they will try to be nice, hahaha - ok maybe not. This may mean you need to thicken your skin a bit, becuase you may be the subject of gossip afterwards, but that is the whole point! DON'T CARE


Ok - I may begin on a rant. Or... a story:

I know this old lady and a sewing machine (Ok - its not a great story, but it has a point). She has had her sewing machine since she was 16, yup, one of the old black, heavy metal ones, with a wooden base. It is in beautiful condition, she has taken fantastic care of it. I think of this sewing machine when ever I think about consumerisim. Pretty much anything we buy these days gets stored with the vast amount of junk that a person has, and is definatly not as special two years later. Now, please note that I am not saying everything is like this. What I am getting around to is that we are vastly overspending on christmas gifts, why? Because we feel that we have to wow the reciever of the gift (the canadian bestbuy add comes to mind, funny - but exactly what I am talking about).

It is true that seeing joy on a persons face when they open something they want is such a nice feeling, but alot of us can not afford the things we buy. So, try something new, make peanut brittle, or chocolates, paint, caligraphy some poems, or buy some gift vouchers. the holidays are NOT about presants. The holidays are about spending time with each other. Please dont be sucked into getting the best presant ever. If you are worried about how the presant will be recieved, then being open about finances being tough (avoiding detail - although I think that if you have to do this then that person probably shouldn't be at your christmas :p) can work to ease your anxiety.


look - christmas is not about a pretty house, with quiet chit chat. Get the kids on the tile floor with big bits of paper and some water paint, get the grown ups playing scrabble, chess or whatever, get the young adults or older teenagers playing drinking games, etc! But all get involved in something with each other. Be loud, run around, if you need five minutes peace, take it, hug lots, tickle, high five, smooch, piggy backs, pretend karatee, just generally muck about! If you are feeling stressed, chasing someone around with your fake karatee is a GREAT way to expell all kinds of stress and anxiety!

Scream if you need to, laugh all of the time, and if you're down - demand that some one hug you for a good amount of time until you feel better.

Take care everyone, and have a very Merry Christmas!!

just mary

Thanks Phoenix, I like the way you think and I'm glad you took a moment to post this. :) :)

And I am so with you on the consumerism aspect of Christmas!

I hope you keep to this way of thinking for the rest of your life and pass it on to your friends and family. Maybe it'll make it's way out here, to a certain family I know of, or maybe I'll just thrust these beliefs upon them - let the chips land where they may. As long as it's coming from your heart and you mean no harm, what could it hurt right?

Thanks again, take care and Merry Christmas to you too!!

just mary said:
or maybe I'll just thrust these beliefs upon them

Lol JM

Thrusting my beliefs on people is what I do!!! ;) lol, you are right though, if you are expelling love when you insist others do to, its generally well received! :p


Hey Phoenix I know a certain family that you could thrust your beliefs onto and I would absolutely love to see :D You wouldn't even have to travel that far...just a hop, skip and a jump from your place :lol:

Everything you posted about is exactly how I think and believe about Christmas but the rest of my extended (not immediate) family is so into the commercial aspect of Christmas that it is almost painful to be with them although that is all that I want to be with family.

So Phoenix, you are really going to have your work cut out for you but I have confidence in your thrusting of beliefs on others your magic :p
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