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David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
The Importance of Peace for HSPs
Psychology Today
September 19, 2013

More than anything else, highly sensitive people need peace. We need it even more than we need quiet. Peace is the sense that everything is all right in our world and we are free from worry. Peace gives us the space and the freedom to let go of distractions and stressors, it gives us time to think and to just be, which in turn opens up a space for creativity to blossom.Sensitive people need creativity as a release for all the energy we absorb and a way of processing the information we receive every day. We need it as a way of expressing ourselves and a way to connect with others in a meaningful way.

It?s not just time alone that we need, although that is important. Time alone filled with anxious thoughts and fears is not helpful. We need calm. It?s the kind that comes when you know you can shut your eyes and let thoughts just emerge like new buds. And that can only happen when you have created the kind of life that limits stress, whether that?s from work, family, friends or activities.

Feeling overwhelmed is a common experience for HSPs, so it?s essential that we carve out time for ourselves and create a life that is suited for us not someone else. It might not fit everyone and it might look a little strange, but when it feels right to you, there?s room to breathe.

Experiencing peace on a daily basis takes a seeking, if not a hunting, of a certain kind of placid life combined with an ongoing skill at learning how to push stress and distractions away. This isn?t selfishness. This is thriving as a highly sensitive person. Here?s how:

  • Make time for yourself a priority. Don?t just scoop up whatever minutes are leftover like crumbs from a table. Write it in your diary, schedule it in your calendar.
  • Do what you need to do to relax. Sometimes you just need time to get away from all the stimulus and noise, so put on some comfortable clothes, shut the door, stare out the window and just breathe.
  • Channel your energy. If you?re feeling anxious or stressed after a day at work or a day out, don?t try to suppress those feelings. Release them through exercise (walking, running, aerobics) to relieve stress or through expression (writing, painting, singing, talking) to relieve anxiety.
  • Find your bliss. Figure out what you really like to do and then do it. It?s the thing that you would do even if no one ever knew and you didn?t get paid for it but when you do it or talk about it, you feel happy. Whether it?s gardening, making pots or dog grooming, spending time doing something that feels good to you will help to ground you and give you a sense of peace.
  • Steer clear of negative people. Other people will sap your energy and your sense of calm like nothing else. If you feel tense around someone or notice that you feel more relaxed when they?re not around, avoid them as much as you can. If someone makes you feel anxious, worried, insecure, angry or bad about yourself, ask yourself if you might be happier without them.
 
Interesting article, these are things I have been doing for a long time. One of the hardest for me is the last one. Avoiding negative people is difficult but boundaries are essential IMO especially when those negative people are your family. What helped and still helps me is being at peace with my own actions. Conflicts are an inevitable part of life and sometimes unavoidable. Although easier said than done being at peace with your own actions when faced with conflict helps prevent one of the most destructive kind internal conflict.
 
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