Ashley-Kate
MVP
Feeling too week to go to work let alone get out of bed, every morning i fight against myself to convince my heart that people are counting on me cause my mind has already given up, i step in my office at work and it starts over, the smile the little giggle as the clients say a joke that is supposed to be funny but i fake the laughter cause i don't really know what is funny or not. I spend the night staring at the wal willing myself to fall asleep but unable too, thinking of everythign that i should have done better, everything i do just seems not good enough. I think i am sad but i really don't know anymore i just know that i am not happy. I flirt with the idea of not beeing alive, yet i don't know if i really want to dye. In my heart i am completly against the hole idea of suicide but in my mind i don't really think i canlive like this the rest of my life!
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