More threads by susan-at-NYTimes

Hello,
My name is Susan and I'm a reporter for the New York Times. I'm working on a story and hoping to talk to people about their experiences ending therapy -- either for good, or to begin again with a new therapist. For many, it's a difficult experience. Why? Any tips from experience for making it better?

Please write. Thanks,
Susan
saulny@nytimes.com
 

Shaymus

Member
trouble ending/switching therapy?

I just got done doing this today. I dont like telling a psychologist that they are wrong for me. I feel like they will look at it as me not wanting to change or some other reason that puts the fault on my shoulders. I called the receptionist to cancel my appointments. That gives me a way to get what i want without having to deal with the confrontation. Altho that didnt work out as well as i wanted either cause they forwarded me to her voice mail. Which i quickly blurted out that i was quitting, my name and then hung up. Its very difficult for me because basically you are saying that even though they went through all the work of schooling and have way more knowledge than you do that you dont think they are right for you. You would think since they have the education that they would see that, if it was there, and inform you.
 

Banned

Banned
Member
trouble ending/switching therapy?

Shaymus,

There has to be a "connection" between a therapist/client for it to work. Most people try several before they find the one that works for them. It's taken me 14 years to find the one I want. Then I lucked out and found two (always good to have a back-up). But - if there's no connection, it won't work, and therapists are aware of that.

I never really ended appropriately either. I'd just start calling in sick for every session, until they just stopped returning my calls. I told my current therapist if I ever cancel cause I'm "sick" it's a bad sign...
 

just mary

Member
trouble ending/switching therapy?

I never really thought to apologize for ending my therapy. I viewed it as a business relationship. I pay him for an hour of his time, he listens and hopefully helps. I don't think he was hurt at all by my leaving. I found it hard but I'm the sick one, not him. I'm sure he was fine with it. I think therapists are trained not to get emotionally involved, if they did, it would be h-e-double hockeysticks, they wouldn't last. That's not to stay they don't care, it's just business.

As for me, it was hard to leave but I had to, it didn't feel right. I wasn't willing and I felt like I was looking for someone "to take care of me" as opposed "to help me to care of myself". I just ended it, I did give a brief explanation in an e-mail (I told him I felt foolish) but that was about it. Never heard back from him but that's okay, it's business.

That's how I dealt with it.
 

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