What right do they have?

[Ashley-Kate]

hello ,
okay this may sound very amuture and childish to say but i am infuriated at the way some people work i never heard of bpd in my entire life and believe me i went through a lot and the other day i get into a new therapist office and there she is with my file from my most recent hospitalisation in her hands (hospitalised for an eating disorder) and 30 minutes into our interview she tells me that do to my diagnosis of bpd she would like to be able to communicate with any other care i receive to keep every thing on the table in a way and for no one to be miss guided or anything witch shocked me incredibly cause i did not even know i was diagnost with that and then she tells me in my recent hospitlisation it was a possibility do to some behaviors i have suich as self harm and my eating disorder and mmood swings she said it seems a lot like the ambivalence that teenagers go through therefore there was never a tru diagnosis done but only a possibility because i was only 16 -17 at the time so i go upset cause she was basicly telling me that seeings how i was in a psychiatric hospital as a teen for an eating disorder i had to have a borderline personality and well since i was realeaced frmo the hospital they have put me on meds and stuff but i recently refused any meds do to my eating disorder and my need for controle and the fact that i felt i no longuer had any but th thing is they were dissapointed because they wanted to increase my dossage the thing that i don't get is that they 've known me for like 2 hours and assume that that is what i need although i admit to being depressed i find it cruel and stupid that htey give me the first diagnosis they can find especially without informing me on what exacly it is .
yours trully a very confused 18 year old

 

[Daniel E.]

Re: what right do they have

Ashley,

I hope you change your mind about refusing medications. They can help you sleep, improve your mood, help minimize the self-harming, etc. Your need for control does not have to prevent you from taking medications, especially since medications can improve one's self-control.

Regarding the diagnosis, I have no idea if BPD makes sense in your case. However, most therapists can help even with an imperfect or incorrect diagnosis because therapy is directed towards one's individual, specific issues, such as self-harming, feeling depressed, problems with eating, etc.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Re: what right do they have

thank you very much for your reply the thing is that i always refused medications in the past do to my mothers reluctance towards that alternative and i feel a bit bad sneeking behind her back and taking them.. and i am very much against any medication . and although it may give me more controle i feel as though it is not my control but the medication that controles i hardly do anything with the meds now all i do is sleep nd then the doctor considers raising the dossage yeah sure i am depressed yes i am not always thinking about how great life is and yes the thought of not existing has past through me quite often but is that enough to think lets dose her on meds so she falls asleep all the time instead of thinking of killing herself.. i read up on bpd and yes i find it corresponds a bit to my but only in the trigger factors reasons one can have bpd some simptoms correspond but they can be caused by many things .. ambivalence and mood swings can be caused by malnutrition depression as well ... self injury can be caused by eating disorders and of course traumatic past (abuse and others) therefore nothing really fits..
i am so confused i feel so mad because i feel that my ne Therapist should not have just through out that diagnosis at me without verifying first
yours trully ashley
yours trully
ashley

 

[^^Phoenix^^]

Re: what right do they have

Hi Ak
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, and your anger towards your psychologist on hospital staff. Often voicing your anger as calmly as you can can help the psychologist understand your feelings better. But my point is more towards the fact that you are avoiding taking drugs because your mother is reluctant. Please do some research of your own. Find arguments for both sides, and then you make the descision. Its your mental health and you are going to need it for the rest of your life. Avoiding meds now may possibly mean alot of pain later.
xx

 

[Ashley-Kate]

i am quite aware that i should rethink the hole aspect of medication and i know it sounds rediculous a 19 year old girl debating on taking meds because her mom is against the idea but the thing is my life was always abgout people controling me in some ways or others and now they ask of me to take meds that will controle my mood leaving me no choice to admit that i can't and that is not in my abilities. i can't hand over that aspect of my life. i know i should and i am strongly thinking about it but it is hard for e to let go and to also allow myself to do so. admitting that i am weak is far beyond what i can do. but i will continuing considering the options.. i just feal very sceptical as well because i feal they just decided they needed to put a name on everythign i was doing to myself instead of just calling it an eating disorder they said bpd and also the fact that one of the girls i was hospitalised with was also diagnost with bpd and that made me wounder is it because i am anorexic they decided i was bpd as well.. easier to treat a borderline personnality disorder with meds than it is to treat an e-d that has no mediation to treat it.
they took the easy way out.
and also the psychiatrist that i saw basicly laughef at me when i was explaining some of the things i do and i found that most frustrating.
yours trully ashley
yours trully ashley

 

[Daniel E.]

easier to treat a borderline personnality disorder with meds than it is to treat an e-d that has no mediation to treat it.

I don't think so since no medication is made specifically for BPD. Medications are given to treat symptoms like depression, anxiety, mood swings, impulsiveness, problems sleeping -- all of which can contribute to an eating disorder.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

yes i understand what you mean and i am not trying to make bordeline personality disorder seem simple to treat or anything but in my opinion ... the symptoms i have are not those of bpd but rather of long term anorexia , depression cause of lack of nutrition , self harm caused by depression lack of sleep caused by anorexia etc. yes some of the behaviors i do have seem to be a direct link to bpd and do to my history o suicide atemps people may say that right away but yes i do think i may have some tendencies that may be somewhat like that of someone that has bpd but many people could. i guess some may look at me and say"she's in denial" but i am not i am just sick of people trying to put a name on me as to justify my lack of happyness of ability to improve..
i have been told so many things in the past 7 years that i am franckly sick of it.. , PTSD, anorexia , bulimia , multiple personnality disorder, ocd, depression, self mutilation, and now bpd, it is as if the give me something more to try and beat everytime
as if my problemes were not enough, it just seems everytime i get told something new things just get worst the time i was diagnost with anorexia nervosa was just the beginning , it gave me a reaosn to let go it was okay for me to not eat cause i am anorexic. will it be okay for me to be depressed cause i am borderline...? ni don't know if you understand what i mean by this it is just the way i see all of this.
yours trully ashley

 

[Daniel E.]

...it was okay for me to not eat cause i am anorexic. will it be okay for me to be depressed cause i am borderline...?

If I understand you correctly, you are saying that you think these diagnoses don't really help you since they more easily allow you to focus on a certain, pre-defined pattern of negative self-expression. I've felt the same way but that was because I was the one (not the doctors or therapists) that was constantly thinking more in terms of the problem (my symptoms and diagnoses) than on the solution (building up a daily routine with more and more positive habits, socialization, cognitive & behavior therapy, medications, etc.).

 

[Misha]

Ashley Kate,
I find it interesting how similar we are in our diagnoses and struggles.....

I've been medicated many different ways for bpd but it wasn't until I was medicated with my ed in mind that my meds really started working for me.

I know you said its easier to medicate for bpd than an ed but that's not really true there's lots of medicating they do for eds.

In any case it was the balance, the overall picture, that has brought me to a point of stability. If you have any questions about my meds or treatment, feel free to ask anything. I've been on a lot of meds and through lots of treatment programs.

If you don't feel comfortable saying, that's fine, but I was just wondering where in the country you are? I'm not to familiar with programs outside of alberta, and was just curious.

Your friend, Misha. :heart:

 

[luly]

Dear AK
I think midication not very important in personality disorders.. the most important thing is psychotherapy especially psychoanalysis,although midication works very good in dealing with symptoms..
but i really think you have to focus more on psychodynamic therapy

 

[Halo]

Luly,

I tend to disagree with you in that I think that medication combined with psychotherapy works best for most if not all disorders. I believe that there has been documented research to prove this point as well. Obviously AK's doctor knows her best and if s(he) has recommended medication for her than it is for a good reason however whether AK takes it or not is her decision entirely.

Take care :heart:

 

[luly]

Dear Halo,
I just think medication works on symptoms only,not on the construction of personality..while psychotherapy works on it,especially in personality disorders. But i don't mean it's valid for every case.

 

[Halo]

Okay, I see what you are saying....I thought that you meant that medication didn't work for most personality disorders...sorry my mistake

I agree with you that medication works for the symptoms and provides some stability enough to be able to do the work that is required in therapy.