• Quote of the Day
    "You are much deeper, much broader, much brighter than any idea you could have of yourself."
    Harry Palmer, posted by Daniel

blinded

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I am currently in here, while my husband is out at a friends house. my chest is heavy, and I keep having bad thoughts. bottom line is, I don't trust him, even though he has never given me a reason not too. We've been together since I was 17, now I'm 31 and we've been married for 5 years and have 2 kids, 11 and 6.
He seems to have no problem when I go out to a friends' house. He sits at home on the computer, and gets drunk. As long as I buy him beer, he's happy.
I don't treat him very well, (snide remarks and such) always wanting into his secret life on the computer, ( at lest that's waht I call it) he gets very upset with me and tells me I'm smothering him.
He hasn't worked in about 4 yrs. I've got a good job with great bosses. My friends are the people I work with, they're a great bunch. My husband wants nothing to do with them, and gets annoyed when I talk about work.
I feel that he isn't contributing as much as he could. And I'm afraid that when he does get a job, (I hope he does sometime) Our relationship will be so badly damaged that he'll see it as a way out. He'll have his own means then.
I don't know wether he's just using me as a meal ticket for now, and he's building his self esteem on the internet with other people, mainly girls. He's told me he can't talk to me, so he talks to other people.
We've talked about divorce and sometimes I think I would be better off on my own, but it hurts to think that he will be happier with someone else.
I could probably ramble on for hours, I'm so confused. :confused:
 

Daniel

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Re: what's my problem!!!

Professional help is definitely called for if the marriage is to be saved, e.g. individual and/or couple therapy that would address his possible depression:

Talk to him patiently explaining that all this is not only unhealthy for both of you, but also for your child who is growing up. Suggest to him about taking the help of a counsellor to deal with the situation. Your suggestion of seeking the help jointly might help him feel supported. If he is reluctant to take help, then you can visit the counselor alone first and later give him a feedback as to how you felt. This might motivate him to accompany you the next time.

http://www.doctorndtv.com/faq/detailfaq.asp?id=7252
 
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