I have no idea if this is the right forum to post this, since I'm not talking about a dating relationship but a friendship. Anyways, I find it really really difficult to tell my friends what's going on in my life.. we obviously tell each other everything it seems, and I am always there for them and vice versa but when it comes to the things that really bother me, or why I'm upset, etc. I just don't know how to tell them. I either make up another excuse or even if I do try, the responses aren't very helpful. One of my best friends gets upset when I'm upset (obv.) but it's not helpful at all b/c then I have to get her to not be upset over soemthing she doesn't even understand. So that makes me mad b/c instead of me dealing w/ my issues I now have a friends who is upset for no reason... she'll think that I don't want to tell her. She thinks it's easy. But the reality is, noone knows about most of these things I'm talking about. And I feel like such a fake... like how can I talk about something that is such a huge part of my life and have them not think that our entire friendship is based on a lie? I mean I'm talking about 8+ yrs here of people not knowing about these things. It's the same w/ my family. But I also don't want them to know, I don't want them to see me as this persont hat has problems or has this or that disorder.... it's just not the me I am willing to accept for the outside world. And yes it's hell living like this sometimes... but I don't really see how I have other choices.
But lately my friend and I argue about everything.... seriously everything... b/c she feels like I just give her one word answers or like I'm upset but won't tell her why... and her getting upset or mad sure doesn't help in me wanting to tell her things... I wish I would be able to be honest w/ my friends, it would make life so much easier at times... but I am so afraid. So afraid. And I do have some friends where we will talk abotu some of the things, but in the end it seems like w/ those friends we only ever talk about the "bad" things. And I'd never admit to any of my own problems... hell I don't even admit to myself really what's going on.
I don't really know what my question is... but any thoughts on this????
But lately my friend and I argue about everything.... seriously everything... b/c she feels like I just give her one word answers or like I'm upset but won't tell her why... and her getting upset or mad sure doesn't help in me wanting to tell her things... I wish I would be able to be honest w/ my friends, it would make life so much easier at times... but I am so afraid. So afraid. And I do have some friends where we will talk abotu some of the things, but in the end it seems like w/ those friends we only ever talk about the "bad" things. And I'd never admit to any of my own problems... hell I don't even admit to myself really what's going on.
I don't really know what my question is... but any thoughts on this????