HotthenCold
Member
...And possibly some other "conditions" as well?
I post on here a lot.
I've stayed sober for a little while now and so am being faced with all the things I covered up with substances.
Now that alcohol and drug related anxiety is gonzo (other than regret associated with substance abuse and the flashbacks of that frame of mind)
I'm realizing how depressed I really am.
I have little motivation to do anything. I have many hobbies and many goals, but much of the time I just can't get myself to accomplish something related to those activities.
My negative thoughts and lack of focus are so apparent now that I'm not dealing with substance issues.
I am very isolated because I have grown more and more weary of social interaction.
I have a great deal of anxiety about my future because I have been steadily retreating from people for a long time due to increasing levels of discomfort in social situations (to put it simply) related to my self concept and social awkwardness.
I don't have many friends because I decided none of the ones I had were very good friends.
I'm beginning to ramble here...
The main point of my post was meant to express how hopeless and unmotivated I feel.
Every time I take action I get so frustrated by thoughts of failure, and by small challenges that present themselves, that I get angry or sad and quit doing what I'm doing. I work at being persistent but often I'm just not.
If I try one hobby I get so depressed by thoughts like "I'm too old" "What does this amount to?" "This is too much work"
It's as if the only things I look forward to are getting paid, eating, and working out.
I don't want to be some vain scrooge mcduck type character, but nothing else really gives me pleasure or even respite anymore.
My thoughts are such a mess!
And on top of that I'm paranoid that people are watching me, I"m highly sensitive, I have severe OCD, and anger problems. Not looking for sympathy, just adding necessary information.
Laughing at the absurdity of it all provides momentary relief but it's kind of a nihilistic, destructive state of mind so I don't like to stay there.
---------- Post Merged at 03:12 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 03:10 PM ----------
and I'd like to add that I find it funny that I used "scrooge mcduck" instead of just "scrooge"
I post on here a lot.
I've stayed sober for a little while now and so am being faced with all the things I covered up with substances.
Now that alcohol and drug related anxiety is gonzo (other than regret associated with substance abuse and the flashbacks of that frame of mind)
I'm realizing how depressed I really am.
I have little motivation to do anything. I have many hobbies and many goals, but much of the time I just can't get myself to accomplish something related to those activities.
My negative thoughts and lack of focus are so apparent now that I'm not dealing with substance issues.
I am very isolated because I have grown more and more weary of social interaction.
I have a great deal of anxiety about my future because I have been steadily retreating from people for a long time due to increasing levels of discomfort in social situations (to put it simply) related to my self concept and social awkwardness.
I don't have many friends because I decided none of the ones I had were very good friends.
I'm beginning to ramble here...
The main point of my post was meant to express how hopeless and unmotivated I feel.
Every time I take action I get so frustrated by thoughts of failure, and by small challenges that present themselves, that I get angry or sad and quit doing what I'm doing. I work at being persistent but often I'm just not.
If I try one hobby I get so depressed by thoughts like "I'm too old" "What does this amount to?" "This is too much work"
It's as if the only things I look forward to are getting paid, eating, and working out.
I don't want to be some vain scrooge mcduck type character, but nothing else really gives me pleasure or even respite anymore.
My thoughts are such a mess!
And on top of that I'm paranoid that people are watching me, I"m highly sensitive, I have severe OCD, and anger problems. Not looking for sympathy, just adding necessary information.
Laughing at the absurdity of it all provides momentary relief but it's kind of a nihilistic, destructive state of mind so I don't like to stay there.
---------- Post Merged at 03:12 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 03:10 PM ----------
and I'd like to add that I find it funny that I used "scrooge mcduck" instead of just "scrooge"
