Grieving Mental Illness

[Daniel E.]

Grieving Mental Illness: A Guide for Patients and Their Caregivers by Virginia Lafond, a social worker in Ottawa 2nd Edition (Revised in 2002) Find in a library Used copies of the first edition, published in 1994, cost only a few dollars.

An excerpt from the book:
The Mental Illness Education Project, Inc.

From some of the book reviews:

The chief value of this book lies in its theme. Grief is an undeveloped concept in our current approach to psychological illness. Because mental illness is both stigmatized and frightening, society ? including patients, caregivers and professionals ? often fail to validate the sense of loss that accompanies diagnosis. Lafond not only legitimizes grief, but also gives useful suggestions on how to identify and deal with the grieving process that she believes inevitably accompanies mental illness.

Book Reviews: Grieving mental illness: a guide for patients and their caregivers, 2nd ed.

Lafond's book is one more step in the process of normalizing mental illness. As she points out in the early chapters, we have no difficulty in talking about grief in relation to physical illness, so why not in relation to mental illness? Grief as a process of adjustment has become part of mainstream thinking, so it seems odd that the idea of using grief as a model for understanding mental illness needs to be argued for. Yet it does. We may be enlightened in the need for least restrictive care; we may regard 'mental illness' as a properly neutral term with which to understand human distress; we may regard mental illness, at least in our finer moments, as common in our communities, and not something to fear. But Lafond argues that we have not sufficiently considered mental illness as a process of loss, and one requiring the same attention to the grief involved as other losses.

There are many positive messages. A recurring refrain is 'name and claim'; a phrase that suggests that the person with illness needs to place themselves at the center of the experience, and in so doing can exert more influence in determining the course of their lives. In discussing denial, Lafond argues for its importance, citing the protective role of denial in dealing with overwhelming loss. In Chapter seven Lafond deals with the problematic concepts of insight and acceptance...

Review - Grieving Mental Illness - Depression, Generalized Anxiety, Panic & Bipolar Disorder

It raises some interesting points about the need to grieve in order to get well again, whether it be a major illness or the death of somebody close.

She claims there are 4 stages to grieving and if we must master each stage or we will have more difficulty getting better. Her 4 stages are.

1)Denial: We often deny our illness or at least how serious it really is.

2)Sadness: we often deny that we are sadden by our illness, often saying things like "I'm happy it wasn't worse" .We should accept that it's a terrible illness and it's ok to feel sad that we got it.

3)Anger and fears: Often we don't deal with the angry feelings we have with these illnesses. Anger over delay of treatment, misdiagnosis, anger over what if's (what if I had been treated earlier etc.) Later we fear the unknown future that lies ahead of us.This fear can paralysis us.

4)Acceptance: Accepting our Illness and learning how best to deal with it in a logical manner.

The author points out that that the steps pretty much happen in the above order and the longer we refuse to accept each step the longer it will take to get better. She gives some hints about getting better.

I cannot say it's a great book, but I can tell you she is correct in some areas. I wasted a lot of time in denial and I also wasted a lot of time paralyzed by fear of the future. Getting better is not easy. But getting to the point of acceptance of the illness and the limitations it may put on us sure helps. Once there we are still in for a battle, but at least we can head in the right direction. (cowering under) the covers only worked for so long for me )

Grieving Mental Illness

This is a self-help book for anyone who has endured the effects of mental illness, whether as a sufferer, friend, family member, or caregiver. It offers detailed, jargon-free guidelines to help readers come to terms with mental illness in a positive way, while avoiding disabling emotional responses to illness. Sophisticated in approach and comprehensive in its treatment, this book will be useful both to healthcare workers and to the general public.

Virginia Lafond?s experience as a mental health practitioner has taught her that grieving is always a partner to mental illness. There are very real losses associated with any illness and grieving for them, whether the grief is recognized as such or not, is inevitable. Unacknowledged grief takes its toll, slowing or even stalling recovery. Using grief as a healthy, normal, adaptive process enhances recovery, allowing positive choices to be made. The result can help sufferers come to terms with their illness and prepare them for success in rehabilitation programs.

Lafond offers engaging and empathetic advice on how to move forward from the suffering associated with mental illness. By consciously grieving we can help bring healing and wholeness to our lives, resulting in new ways of coping, reduced stress, and greater self-esteem.

First published in 1994, this revised edition contains a new introduction and two new appendices: ?A Worker?s Guide for Working with the Grief of Mental llness? and ?Mental Illness: Responses to Frequently Asked Questions?.

Grieving Mental Illness (The Burden of Sympathy: How Families Cope With Mental Illness) : Anne Vargas Blog