Ashley-Kate
MVP
You walk into the room you smile you act all pretty and show how good you look in your newest little dress, yet slightly uncomfortable because you are so used to wearing those over sized sweats lying on your bed because you took them off just before leaving, you panic when you see the table with the buffet and you avoid it every chance you get stay as far from is as possible convinced yourself already that if you stay far from it you are safe! now to the average person this already seems weird, chocolate covered almonds in a bowl you gag at the thought of eating that and average person would probably grab a hand full and think yum. your brain has not worked that way in a while. you just think yuck.
You start to realize that people are staring beyond you you wonder what they are looking at you turn around yet nothing so you keep walking you are proud in some sick way of this stick figure you have become, yet no one says a thing they hardly even look at you to them you are still nothing, you analyze their reaction to you in your own little troubled head and think you didn't lose enough just another few pounds that will be good they will see you you will be happy and pretty you will be in control.
You walk by people and they seem to be talking about you you try to listen in and yet understand only bits and pieces of their conversations, such a pretty girl , implicated in so much, lovely eyes, you finally feel that they noticed you. You reach the front of this room you are in of this party that is being held yet there is this large box in the front of the room and on the side on a little stand there lays a picture of you a couple years ago, maybe when you were younger when you looked happy, when you were healthy.on the bottom of that picture lay the dates 1988-2009.
you finally start to understand the invisibility you have had that hole night the lack of attention you have received you reached your goal honey you made it to the weight you reached even invisible. Your casket closed your family was too pained to say their goodbyes to what the eating disorder left behind.
in loving memory of the girls i spent months with at the hospital but mostly to those who never came out.
You start to realize that people are staring beyond you you wonder what they are looking at you turn around yet nothing so you keep walking you are proud in some sick way of this stick figure you have become, yet no one says a thing they hardly even look at you to them you are still nothing, you analyze their reaction to you in your own little troubled head and think you didn't lose enough just another few pounds that will be good they will see you you will be happy and pretty you will be in control.
You walk by people and they seem to be talking about you you try to listen in and yet understand only bits and pieces of their conversations, such a pretty girl , implicated in so much, lovely eyes, you finally feel that they noticed you. You reach the front of this room you are in of this party that is being held yet there is this large box in the front of the room and on the side on a little stand there lays a picture of you a couple years ago, maybe when you were younger when you looked happy, when you were healthy.on the bottom of that picture lay the dates 1988-2009.
you finally start to understand the invisibility you have had that hole night the lack of attention you have received you reached your goal honey you made it to the weight you reached even invisible. Your casket closed your family was too pained to say their goodbyes to what the eating disorder left behind.
in loving memory of the girls i spent months with at the hospital but mostly to those who never came out.
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