Sad

[Ashley-Kate]

Today i am sad, sad because the CLSC called me back after getting my hopes up that i would have help that i would start therapie again with someone that i would be okay with , the call back informed me that they don'T feel that they can help me and that i should look into therapie in a hospital. they evaluated my files from other therapies and came to that conclusion. basically i feel that they came to the conclusion that i am hopeless that they can't help me and that i am too complex to screwed up that there is only little we can do to help me if someone can. I also decided this week that i will not be going back to school this year again, I received a call back from the douglas hospital and will start therapi with them in the summer but til then i have nothing because the CLSC thinks i am too screwed up because my old psychologist thought it was important to tell them that i am scrwed up and they can't offer me any help so till this summer i am alone. I am living with the fact that i am moving in july i am scared to death. I can hardly eat and i am losing my mind. I am also living with the fact that i have no plans for my futur cause i am too screwed up. I am spending the last bit of time i have off work with my grand-father who is really sick in the hospital and dying and i feel like. I am drowning and have nothing to keep me ashore. I am depressed borderline suicidal and terrified. i don'T think i can do this alone and i feel abandonned by everyone like the would rather me die than try to help me and not succeed.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

You sound like you're well into a downward spiral of negative and hopeless thinking, Ashley.

To begin with, the fact that this particular clinic or whatever it is (CLSC) doesn't feel they can help you or doesn't think that you are a match for their programs does NOT mean that they think you can't be helped or that they think you are "too screwed up" to help. More than likely, it simply means that they recognize that they are not the best place to help you.

In my practice, there are certain problems or issues that I feel I have a lot of knowledge, skill, and expertise with and when people come to me with those problems or issues or disorders then I can usually help them. However, there are other issues or disorders that I have little or no experience with and for people who come to me with those issues I usually refer them to someone else who is better equipped to help them. As an example, I don't treat eating disorders, so if you came to me looking for therapy for an eating disorder I would refer you to someone with expertise in that area - certainly not because I thought you were hopeless but rather because I think you deserve to be in therapy with someone who understand and knows how to treat eating disorders. It's also a matter of ethics: No therapist should ever treat anyone if they have insufficient knowledge or experience in treating that disorder.

On a positive note, you have already been accepted back to the program at the Douglas - they know you there, you know what to expect, and they were able to help you in the past. You say that starts in the summer - what month? Is that what you mean by moving in July?

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. That's a lot to be dealing with all at once. But as overwhelmed as you feel now, don't give up. Your grandfather wouldn't want you to do that. And you did it before - you can do it again.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

The moving in july is my moving from the apartment i currently reside in to another apartment with 4 new roomates whom i have not met yet. The CLSC i understand there perception and in truth i was not really asking for help with the eating disorder i was specifically looking for some place that they would not see me as an eating disorder for once. I wanted a place that i would feel free to talk without the fear of being hospitalised. When i am in treatment in a hospital enviroment i fear just that, seeings how the hospital is soo close (being in it and all) they can simply find a room and its done. no room for negociations. I spoke to the woman that evaluated me and she heard my frustrations and agreed that i had every right to feel the way i felt and that she understood and that she recommended i make a complaint because i was sort of left on my own they made their decision not even knowing that i was going back to the hospital but just with the information they had and called to inform me of the result without mentionning referal or other services they left me. For the hospital it will be at the end of july. After a group that i have been in this week they called a crisis center and had me get an appointment with someone there because they felt i was getting too hopeless. In truth i feel that i am going to explode i feel overwhelmed huge i feel like i have such a big weight on me and i can'T seem to take it off and i feel i can't eat because I am too full of what i don'T know but food is too much. So at the moment to be told okay ashley we can't help you so wait till someone is free and better qualified to help you in july

 

[forgetmenot]

I feel your sadness Ashley-Kate every time my daughter was denied help she sank into a deeper depression but as i told her then it was not the place to be.
The people there would not have given her a chance to prove herself they had already made the decision they could not help her
. She needed to be in a place where the staff were eager to help were positve about the therapy helping her.
In time she did get into therapy that help her illness better fit for her.
It is very disheartening when you feel you are being rejected abandoned but try to keep busy okay don't let the negative take over
You have fought this before and you can again I hope you have some support set up with your doctor until you get into therapy in JUly
They are not rejecting you okay they just don't feel they will be able to help you.
When one door closes usually another door opens take care Ashley okay stay strong.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

I realise it is not to be mean that they are refusing to help me but what i also realise is that they have not tooken into consideration that i am on my own at the moment and that they didn't do anything to get me any help for the time being considering that i am extremly depressed overly stressed anxious all the time and at points suicidal what frustrates me is that they didn't take the time to tell me who could help me, i realise that i have an appointment with the hospital soon and that i will be getting help from them but what i am having a hard time with is the fact that right now i am losing my mind right now i am nervous and scared and feel helpless and i don't have anything to help me now.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

There are crisis lines in Montreal you could call, Ashley, and after the weekend you could call the Douglas and see if there's anyone who could see you for brief crisis intervention while you're waiting for the program to start.

Suicide-Action Montreal, Inc.
C.P. 310, Succ Saint Michel
Montreal QC H2A 3M1
Crisis: (514) 723-4000[/COLOR]


Tel-Aide - Montreal
Succ "H"
Montreal QC H3G 2K7
Crisis: (514) 935-1101

 

[forgetmenot]

Ashley i hope you can call your family maybe and spend some time with them if not call them and let them know how you are feeling okay. IT is good to talk to someone who understands and cares. I know it is hard to call for help i have had to do it now at least three times each time i got a kind person to talk to Perhaps crisis team there can help set you up with some coucilling until you get into your program. Look into community groups as well okay I hope you stay safe take care okay

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Thanks,
Tuesday i am going to meet a woman that works in a crisis center here. She seems very nice i am a bit nervous but it should be okay. I am debating on going to the hospital because I have been feeling pretty sick the last few weeks and really tired and not depressed tired physically tired and week.

 

[forgetmenot]

I would do what is best for you Ashley okay if you are not well physically then you need to go into hospital and get your blood levels done okay maybe your electrolytes are off It wouldn't hurt to be safe right. I am glad you have contacted a nice crisis person to help you on Tuesday. For tonight if you are not well go in and get some help okay tell them how weak you are and how you have not been eating get some blood work done okay don't leave it. Stay safe okay take care of you okay

 

[Murray]

I completely agree with Violet, you need to make sure that you take care of yourself. So good to hear that you will be meeting with someone on Tuesday, I hope she helps.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Well lots has happened in the last couple of days i have not really done anything really but this is the outcome of the week. On Sunday night i spent the night in the hospital waiting room because i was highly recommenced to go to the hospital and therefore i listened. I saw a Dr. that took lots of tests and was diagnosed with mono. An i have to go see a surgeon in 2 weeks for something else that the Dr. was worried about but i am trying to stay positive. I have so much appointments in the next coming weeks. I got a call back from the Douglas hospital fallowing my day in the hospital telling me that there is a free appointment slot on the 2nd of June next week!!! I see the surgeon on the 7th of June and a general physician in 3 weeks to check my global health,.so i guess i am in good hands for the upcoming weeks. thanks!

 

[forgetmenot]

I am glad you got your health checked out and that they are fitting you in for free appts I hope with meds the mono can be eliminated so you will have energy for other appts. Keep up the good work Ashley-Kate I am glad you are in good hands now

 

[Ashley-Kate]

yeah unfortunately for me mono doesn't have a miracle pill that cures it after a couple of days i have to wait it off.,. with lots of rest thats about all I can do..

 

[Cat Dancer]

Mono can be pretty hard on a person. Take it easy and get as much rest as you can.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

At least it's not stereo. That can be twice as bad. RAP or Hip-Hop in stereo can be fatal.

 

[forgetmenot]

when i had mono i was put on antibiotics i guess your doc feels not necessary i hope you feel better soon as i know how terrible debilitating it can be i was flattened for days no energy what so ever. rest is the key here i guess because stress will only make things worse take care okay try to get lots of rest.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

when i had mono i was put on antibiotics

Since it's a viral infection, antibiotics won't help, except perhaps to prevent or treat any secondary infections - doctors are increasingly wary of doing that unless there's no choice because of concerns about developing antibiotic resistant bacteria.

 

[forgetmenot]

o f course you are right there i was given it becauseof my heart involvment for some reason. Not good to overuse antibiotics your right.