Why am I so convinced I'm a loser when it comes to women?

[HotthenCold]

The question could be a bit misleading because part of me is really confident with women. I get attention from a lot of women and have fun meeting them, flirting, etc.

However a really gorgeous, nice girl seems to like me, but I'm convinced that no girl of her "calibre" would ever want anything more than to mess with me head and eventually break my heart.

It's a messed up view I know, but for some reason I just don't trust women.
Just as many men as women have been mean to me, but for some reason rejection or humiliation by women terrifies me.

Now anytime a slight hint of a feeling that a romance or flirtation is starting I block it.


I have confidence issues in general, and I tend to beat up on myself. I embarass myself a lot too because I am somewhat careless and mentally I'm off in my own little world much of the time.

 

[HBas]

Is this te same man writing here that is currently having the time of his life?
hiehie - Try anyway - Believe in yourself.

You may have been single for a month but you were with someone for 4 Years - you must realize that it will take time to find your feet? Please take it easy and don't be so hard on yourself!

HB

 

[white page]

Hi HTC ,

I agree with HBas ,

However a really gorgeous, nice girl seems to like me, but I'm convinced that no girl of her "calibre" would ever want anything more than to mess with me head and eventually break my heart.

THough I am hearing what you say here , it strikes me that you are anticipating a negative ending in the future , even before anything has started . Relax , enjoy the present , enjoy the company of this gorgeous girl , without projecting into the future , give yourself time and space to get over your past relationship , give yourself time to reconstruct your confidence , every ones confidence is shaken after a break up .

It is maybe, not women who you are not trusting but life in general at the moment . there are men who can't be trustef as there are women who can't be trusted , it saddens me that your vision of women at the moment is so negative , there are nice straightup and delightful ladies out there.

wishing you well wp

 

[forgetmenot]

hi Hotthencold yep sound like good advice from both Hbas and Whitepage take each day at a time and try to enjoy it take this girls approach of you as a hand of friendship and just be easy on yourself okay Try to see the positive in what is happeining around you and take care okay best wishes Mary

 

[amastie]

HotThenCold,

I would have thought that there were some kind of supported social groups in which people were helped to develop social skills. I don't personally know of any but I can imagine that they exist because there are so *many* people who lack confidence in meeting people of the opposite gender (or same gender as preferred). Even one on one counselling that focussed on such a thing would help,wouldn't it?

 

[arlene]

It is also always good to start as friend first. getting to know each other first before you go into the next level. step by step my friend. Once that you know a girl you'll tell yourself if she's the right one and if she is you will go never feel a loser especially if you feel that she also likes you.