A Rising Star
Sunday April 13 2008
by Pam Douglas, Georgetown Independent Free Press
It's time to make suicide an issue that can be discussed
Nadia Kajouji is a happy, smart, outgoing, well-adjusted 18-year-old. A "shining star", as her mother put it, when she went off to Carleton University a scant six months ago.
The type of girl we all hope and dream our own children grow up to be.
When she disappeared March 9 it seemed inconceivable to everyone who knew her that she could have left willingly. She had to have been the victim of a terrible crime.
In the month since she has been missing, her parents, and hopefully all of us, have learned what being away from home for the first time, in an unfamiliar environment, away from friends and family, can do to a teenager. The girl who had an average higher than 90 per cent in high school, the girl who earned scholarships and awards, was struggling in university. She was depressed, and, it came to light last week, she was talking via the Internet with someone about suicide.
It is difficult to believe. She is outgoing, she is full of life, and she is surrounded by loving friends and supportive family. It just doesn't make sense, although there is some talk that she was on anti-depressant medication that could have caused suicidal thoughts. What exactly happened to her - did she run away, did she harm herself, did she fall victim to an accident or a villain? - is something her mom and dad, family and friends, need to know, and the answer cannot come soon enough.
But one thing this Brampton family's terrible tragedy has done is shine a spotlight on some issues that we all need to take a closer look at. One of those issues is suicide, and if anything needed a spotlight shone on it, this does. None of us like to talk about it, so we don't. With awareness campaigns bombarding us at every turn - eat healthy, exercise, wear a seatbelt, wear a bike helmet, don't smoke, get screened for prostate cancer - mental health is given short shrift, seen as a case of, either you have it (you were born with it), or you don't.
Suicide is one of society's dirty little secrets. It has a stigma attached to it. The shame of admitting to suicidal thoughts, coupled with the fear that confiding such thoughts would be met with dismissal from loved ones ("Oh, things aren't that bad"), keeps many sufferers silent. Everyone's ability to cope is different, and something that doesn't seem that traumatic to you, can crush someone else.
If society as a whole refuses to acknowledge that people - many, many people - can suffer depression and have suicidal thoughts, if we are all in denial, then how can we ever save anyone contemplating harm to themselves?
In Peel last year, 16 people were murdered, and each one made sensational headlines in the media. When a teen was killed, and there have been a few lately, parents fretted and wondered, how can we protect our children?
In contrast, in the past five years, more than 300 Brampton and Mississauga residents have killed themselves, and we didn't hear a thing about it.
In the past five years, more than 2,300 Brampton and Mississauga residents tried to kill themselves, but failed. And again, we did not hear a word.
We spend a lot of money making our roads safer, our neighbourhoods safer, our workplaces safer, but where is the money for suicide awareness and prevention?
This taboo needs to be broken, we need to start talking about it, and admitting to each other and ourselves that, as confirmed by the Canadian Mental Health Association, many people have felt suicidal when facing difficult times.
Very possibly someone near and dear to you.
Sunday April 13 2008
by Pam Douglas, Georgetown Independent Free Press
It's time to make suicide an issue that can be discussed
Nadia Kajouji is a happy, smart, outgoing, well-adjusted 18-year-old. A "shining star", as her mother put it, when she went off to Carleton University a scant six months ago.
The type of girl we all hope and dream our own children grow up to be.
When she disappeared March 9 it seemed inconceivable to everyone who knew her that she could have left willingly. She had to have been the victim of a terrible crime.
In the month since she has been missing, her parents, and hopefully all of us, have learned what being away from home for the first time, in an unfamiliar environment, away from friends and family, can do to a teenager. The girl who had an average higher than 90 per cent in high school, the girl who earned scholarships and awards, was struggling in university. She was depressed, and, it came to light last week, she was talking via the Internet with someone about suicide.
It is difficult to believe. She is outgoing, she is full of life, and she is surrounded by loving friends and supportive family. It just doesn't make sense, although there is some talk that she was on anti-depressant medication that could have caused suicidal thoughts. What exactly happened to her - did she run away, did she harm herself, did she fall victim to an accident or a villain? - is something her mom and dad, family and friends, need to know, and the answer cannot come soon enough.
But one thing this Brampton family's terrible tragedy has done is shine a spotlight on some issues that we all need to take a closer look at. One of those issues is suicide, and if anything needed a spotlight shone on it, this does. None of us like to talk about it, so we don't. With awareness campaigns bombarding us at every turn - eat healthy, exercise, wear a seatbelt, wear a bike helmet, don't smoke, get screened for prostate cancer - mental health is given short shrift, seen as a case of, either you have it (you were born with it), or you don't.
Suicide is one of society's dirty little secrets. It has a stigma attached to it. The shame of admitting to suicidal thoughts, coupled with the fear that confiding such thoughts would be met with dismissal from loved ones ("Oh, things aren't that bad"), keeps many sufferers silent. Everyone's ability to cope is different, and something that doesn't seem that traumatic to you, can crush someone else.
If society as a whole refuses to acknowledge that people - many, many people - can suffer depression and have suicidal thoughts, if we are all in denial, then how can we ever save anyone contemplating harm to themselves?
In Peel last year, 16 people were murdered, and each one made sensational headlines in the media. When a teen was killed, and there have been a few lately, parents fretted and wondered, how can we protect our children?
In contrast, in the past five years, more than 300 Brampton and Mississauga residents have killed themselves, and we didn't hear a thing about it.
In the past five years, more than 2,300 Brampton and Mississauga residents tried to kill themselves, but failed. And again, we did not hear a word.
We spend a lot of money making our roads safer, our neighbourhoods safer, our workplaces safer, but where is the money for suicide awareness and prevention?
This taboo needs to be broken, we need to start talking about it, and admitting to each other and ourselves that, as confirmed by the Canadian Mental Health Association, many people have felt suicidal when facing difficult times.
Very possibly someone near and dear to you.
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