Anybody else feel completely responsible for their reasons for self hate?

[HotthenCold]

I'm asking because I feel extra guilty for my poor self image.

I basically screw up work and school in my life because I'm so lazy and indifferent, so then other people begin to resent me and disrespect me.
I don't think they know how much it hurts because I'm already down on myself for my lack of self control and my lack of control in general over my life.
The thing is I volunteer that control. I could completely get rid of my stressors but I don't...what the hell is wrong with me.

I worry that I'm hardwired for laziness because I've never really had to work.

this make it difficult to tlak about because I just sound like a whiner, but there's a real resistance right down to my soul when it comes time to do things I need to do.

 

[Daniel E.]

I worry that I'm hardwired for laziness because I've never really had to work.

Laziness would be a misnomer:

Amazon.com: The Myth of Laziness: Mel Levine: Books

Though, with depression, I do have a history of avoidance, that's different from laziness or even procrastination. With depression, it's more about hopelessness, loss of interest, anhedonia, etc. -- of all which will dissipate with treatment, over time.

On a related note:

Those of us who’ve lived with depression for a while know that the first thing to go is self-esteem.

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/positive-psychology/16569-what-do-you-deserve-from-life.html

Consider that many forms of shame and depression may be ancient (mammal brain) survival mechanisms to keep us from fighting in situations where we can't win and to maintain social structure, such as bowing to those in power. Use your new human brain to maintain your worth, consider your higher values, and override any lower brain archaic reactions that no longer fit.

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/resource...4-tips-for-awakening-your-strongest-self.html

(Regarding coursework, most students seem to procrastinate to some degree and may be deemed "lazy" by some arbitrary standard. Even many graduate students procrastinate. Many of these so-called "lazy" procrastinators may be studying just as much, but since they wait till the last moment, they don't do well on the exams.)

 

[NicNak]

Hi there HotthenCold.

It is a misconception most people have of those of us who are coping with Depression and such, that we are lazy.

Interms of you saying

I could completely get rid of my stressors but I don't...

Are you currently in therapy? Being able to cope on our own is not easy. Getting rid of the stressors isn't always possable, but learning ways to cope with some of them is. That is one of many ways therapy is so helpful.

If you are currently in therapy, have you spoken to your therapist regarding these feelings?

Is it possable that your are feeling responsible for your self hate as those around you are making you feel as such? Are people being negative toward you? Judging you and putting you down?

I have always had to look deep inside myself and find my good qualities. And hold onto those things tight and secure. I hope you know there is good there within yourself too. :support:

 

[Budoaiki]

I don't think they know how much it hurts because I'm already down on myself for my lack of self control and my lack of control in general over my life.
The thing is I volunteer that control. I could completely get rid of my stresses but I don't...what the hell is wrong with me.

I don't know about your situation but with me I had some things go very wrong that were beyond my control which seriously altered the plans I had already set in motion. It left me feeling helpless, inept and well basically hopeless and alone. I lost sight of my goals and myself which made me feel like any efforts I made were or would be pointless,

I still struggle with that but with therapy I am learning to accept my limitations and that just because something bad happened to me doesn't mean I deserved it or that I should let it hold me down. I don't think that it's about getting rid of the stresses, I think it's about recognizing the source.