Better

[Ashley-Kate]

I am reading a book at the moment and for the first time I feel that a book is really positivly influencing me in my recovery process. I have read many books on eating disorders as well as recovery from them yet the author Aimee Liu never ceases to amaze me. I am currently reading a book of hers just released called Restoring our bodies, Reclaiming our lives, and i have never received so much insight from any books at all.

I was deep in my disorder about 2 weeks ago - lots has changed. My boyfriend found me slightly overdosed on medication and decided he had enough. He brought me to the hospital where I remained for a couple of days. I bought this book once i was released and slightly re-fed. I was at a healthier weight when i got out of the hospital and my thinking was a bit clearer. I decided to let recovery have another chance, and a sentence from the book made me feel so sure that i could make it because i felt understood. I wanted to share it with you all.

"eating disorders are like a gun that's formed by genetics, loaded by culture and family ideals, and triggered by unbearable distress."

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Further in the book she describes different forms of distress such as adolescent changes abuse trauma and others. That statement made me see more clearly that i did not chose the disorder is was there and it simply was a way out. The author talks about recovery as the way to disarm the gun. so in my understanding of it all i will always be walking around with the gun in me yet slowly the gun will be disarmed and eventually it won't be loaded anymore.

I guess i think in some ways i have had the moment that people talk about when they decide they really want recovery , the moment were we decide we have had enough and are sick of it. I know i am probably going to relapse again and yet i am trying to accept that factor of recovery that in my quest to be perfect i let myself go to far and almost died, so in my quest to recover i will not demand perfection because i will only hurt myself. in any aspects of life perfection is not attainable it's simply an illusion and recovering from anorexia or bulimia perfectly is simply not gonna happen. so i am allowing myself to slip from time to time but demanding of myself to get back up when i do slip. well just wanted to let you all hear about this wonderful and insightful book

chow

ashley

 

[Ashley-Kate]

"genes create the gun in the form of certain highly sensitive temperaments that are accompanied by a biological tendency to deal with anxiety through eating behaviors. Enviromental conditions and attitudes, such as cultural and family values that emphasize looks and status over substance, load the gun. And emotionnal distress, wich may range from intence trauma or abuse to adolescent anxiety over identity and independence, pulls the trigger." "eating disorders actually serve a function they fire a warning shot to signal that something emotionally profound is amiss."" if the gun shot is not disarmed, the signaling can turn lethal"

I had to add that information to this post because it percises a bit more what the author mentions in the book still the same book as the previous post "restoring our bodies reclaiming our lives. "by aimee liu