Canada is the Second Best Country for Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse

[David Baxter PhD]

Canada Ranked The 2nd Best Country For Surviving A Zombie Apocalypse
by Eul Basa, Narcity
June 2017

We even beat the United States.



Yup, you read that right: Canada ranks second among a list of countries that are most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse.

A group of analysts from the Zombie Research Society (yes, it's really a thing) evaluated various countries with populations over 5 million and determined which ones were most equipped to handle a zombie pandemic. They took into consideration several factors, including population density, climate, topography, gun-ownership rate, military capability, natural resources, and public infrastructure.

According to the study, the top ten safest countries during a zombie pandemic are:

10. Sweden

9. Argentina

8. Finland

7. Norway

6. Bolivia

5. Kazakhstan

4. Russia

3. United States

2. Canada

1. Australia

They described Canada as follows: "Though its thirty-five million residents are packed along a thin strip at the country’s southern border, gun ownership is common, and there’s plenty of room to head north when the stuff hits the fan."

See what they had to say about the other countries here.

 

[Daniel E.]

But before heading north, Canadians are polite enough to ensure the zombies don't slip on the steps:

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Exactly, @Daniel.

I mean who wants zombie brains or zombie guts or pieces of zombie all over their front steps?

 

[gooblax]

I forgot to take this factor into account with my recent decision making.
Back to the drawing board...

He also failed to mention Australia's magpie population, who wouldn't discriminate between zombies and humans during Spring. They would incapacitate hapless zombies who lack basic awareness and magpie evasion tactics even if the virus did manage to reach the country.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Cycling during Magpie Swooping Season, Shellharbour, Australia
by Trent Nicholson
Oct 5, 2014


Swooping attack on cyclist at about 1:50

Quick clip of a lone Magpie at Shellharbour, NSW Australia, during swooping season (note the worm in his mouth 1st attack).

For most of the year magpies are fascinating and endearing native birds. However, during breeding, a small percentage of them can be aggressive, swooping at passers-by in their territory.

Just avoid the known area for a couple months is my best advice.

@gooblax, I didn't realize how big those Australian magpies are. It's like a scene from Jurassic World:

 

[gooblax]

:lol: Pretty accurate At least nesting magpies don't flock or the comparison could be too real!

 

[GaryQ]

Cycling during Magpie Swooping Season, Shellharbour, Australia

Quick clip of a lone Magpie at Shellharbour, NSW Australia, during swooping season (note the worm in his mouth 1st attack).

For most of the year magpies are fascinating and endearing native birds. However, during breeding, a small percentage of them can be aggressive, swooping at passers-by in their territory.

Just avoid the known area for a couple months is my best advice.

@gooblax, I didn't realize how big those Australian magpies are. It's like a scene from Jurassic World

Man that's freaking scary! That sucker was big and really aggressive, poor dude on the bike
I have to admit I laughed alot at the poor cyclists audio clip during the repeated attacks though :rofl:

@gooblax , now that I know how big and nasty Aussie magpies can be I'm sorry for all our magpie jokes from past posts (well not really, maybe just a bit)

 

[GaryQ]

But before heading north, Canadians are polite enough to ensure the zombies don't slip on the steps:

And, we are so polite we left a note for them:

"Dear Zombies, we are really sorry we were not home to greet you. We hope you enjoy your stay. We left some snacks for you in the fridge and the really annoying neighbors decided to stay home. Feel free to visit them too. P.S. if their door is locked they leave the house key in the flower pot on the porch"

 

[Daniel E.]

But I assume Toronto, Montreal, etc. could become an all-you-can-eat brain buffet with all those apartments. That's why it is important to be proactive and move north ASAP.