lammers1980
Member
Lately I have been thinking a lot about my unique family situation. I feel somewhat like I am caught in the middle of a strange situation and I don't really know what to do. Here is the situation.
My family consists of myself, my wife and two children. One of them is biologically mine, while the other is a stepson whose biofather who has been institutionalized for the past year or so.
For the first few years I was with my wife, the biodad played virtually no role in my stepson's life. He would maybe call a couple of times a year at most, and they might have spent a few hours at most together in a year. From my viewpoint he seemed to have no interest in him.
Fast forward a few years...The biodad became seriously delusional, and ended up acting on his delusions, which first landed him in jail, then in the mental health system. He has been there ever since and shows no real sign that he is getting better. All of a sudden he becomes interested in his son again. In fact, so interested that he starts calling every day, sometimes more than once. For the most part he would talk about mundane things with him, such as the newest shows, etc. However, we noticed that he would start sharing his delusions with him as well. He would tell him which channels were okay to watch and which were "controlled" so to speak. He would also sometimes hint at his religious-based delusions (which I find to be racist and distasteful) and also imply that my stepson is to carry on some sort of mission that the father had "started".
In response to this, my wife called the hospital and requested he stop calling, which they now enforce. He no longer calls, although he tries to convince this mother (stepson's grandmother) to reinstate his calling privileges. He tries to play the guilt card, that he just wants to talk to his son. This is hard to believe given his lack of interest before he became ill.
I have told my stepson that if he ever wants to talk to his biological father that he can, no problem. He has never taken up on the offer. Also, when asked specifically if he wants to call his biodad, he always says no. He is 9 years old.
Anyways, that is my situation. I have a stepson who was virtually abandonned by his biodad, a biodad who suddenly takes interest in his son after he becomes severly delusional, a mother who would rather he have no contact with his biodad, and a stepson who is indifferent at best towards his biodad.
All this leaves me not knowing what to do. Is it right to restrict the biodad from talking to his son? I guess I feel torn because I as a dad I would have a hard time not having any contact with my son. Then again, the circumstances of the biodad's newfound interest seems suspect. What to do, what to do...
My family consists of myself, my wife and two children. One of them is biologically mine, while the other is a stepson whose biofather who has been institutionalized for the past year or so.
For the first few years I was with my wife, the biodad played virtually no role in my stepson's life. He would maybe call a couple of times a year at most, and they might have spent a few hours at most together in a year. From my viewpoint he seemed to have no interest in him.
Fast forward a few years...The biodad became seriously delusional, and ended up acting on his delusions, which first landed him in jail, then in the mental health system. He has been there ever since and shows no real sign that he is getting better. All of a sudden he becomes interested in his son again. In fact, so interested that he starts calling every day, sometimes more than once. For the most part he would talk about mundane things with him, such as the newest shows, etc. However, we noticed that he would start sharing his delusions with him as well. He would tell him which channels were okay to watch and which were "controlled" so to speak. He would also sometimes hint at his religious-based delusions (which I find to be racist and distasteful) and also imply that my stepson is to carry on some sort of mission that the father had "started".
In response to this, my wife called the hospital and requested he stop calling, which they now enforce. He no longer calls, although he tries to convince this mother (stepson's grandmother) to reinstate his calling privileges. He tries to play the guilt card, that he just wants to talk to his son. This is hard to believe given his lack of interest before he became ill.
I have told my stepson that if he ever wants to talk to his biological father that he can, no problem. He has never taken up on the offer. Also, when asked specifically if he wants to call his biodad, he always says no. He is 9 years old.
Anyways, that is my situation. I have a stepson who was virtually abandonned by his biodad, a biodad who suddenly takes interest in his son after he becomes severly delusional, a mother who would rather he have no contact with his biodad, and a stepson who is indifferent at best towards his biodad.
All this leaves me not knowing what to do. Is it right to restrict the biodad from talking to his son? I guess I feel torn because I as a dad I would have a hard time not having any contact with my son. Then again, the circumstances of the biodad's newfound interest seems suspect. What to do, what to do...
