Christmas II

[Yuray]

A person in their 50?s+ has been on anti depressants for an eternity as far as personal reckoning goes. Memories are not equated with years or dates, but from merging periods of therapy and medications. There are no clear boundaries or pivotal points of the past, just an uninterrupted flow of rote existence. There is nothing special about Christmas. Its just another reminder that there isn?t, and never has been, (since early childhood) cause for celebration.

Why? Who knows. The best that science and medicine has to offer has not produced positive results. To be sure, science and medicine have helped countless others, but not this person. What to do??..do we tell them to hang in there and tough it out with further prescriptions for happiness? God exited stage left a long long time ago. So, what to do?

I don?t know. Do we do our best to encourage them with what words we can find? Do we let our helplessness in the matter cause us to stop trying to help eventually? Do we try to resurrect happier childhood memories in them in the hope it will make a difference?, or do we try to understand their position and not impose our beliefs on them? Can we accept them as they are and believe how they feel is true? Is a person expected to live an uneventful, uninteresting, and for the most part unsatisfying life until old age kills them? Are we to subject them to more years of non productive therapy and medications, attempt to convince them that their thinking isn?t right, and that bio-chemistry is the culprit?

Christmas is a perfect time for thinking of such people, as we open our presents, take joy in our loved ones, and celebrate whatever precious associations we have with this time. There are many who awake Christmas morning to yet another repetitious yearly event that allows them one more time to recall how childhood was, then dismiss the thought and stare blankly out a window.

Any suggestions?

(this is NOT autobiographical)

 

[David Baxter PhD]

The best that science and medicine has to offer has not produced positive results.

In the majority of cases, when I hear a statement like this, it really isn't true. What it usually means is something like, "I've tried several different medications and several different therapists and nothing so far has helped".

The reality is that new medications are released every year and new combinations of medications are employed. The recent research suggests that those who are not benefitting from a single medication (monotherapy) can usually be helped with a combination of medications.

As for the therapy issue, the best predictor of success is the match between client and therapist. Again, while it may take some trial and error, once the indiidual finds that match the results can often be quite dramatic.

 

[Yuray]

Yes. Of course you are correct in mentioning that science, medicine and therapies are always improving. Although thats the point I was making in my head, you will have to forgive me for assuming you were all gifted enough to read my mind!

I guess the real question is as I mentioned, how much time and effort must be spent on seeking fulfillment after decades of failure? The easy answer is to say spend the rest of your life seeking it. But are there not some who are beyond help that is (presently) available, and it is either our faith in science, medicine, and therapies, or our own personal bias and resolve for helping that keeps our urges to help alive, and giving promises, or hope, to the person who finds no happiness.

When, if ever, is it ok to tell someone they may be beyond help, and that we have tried our best to no avail? And if we keep trying to help despite the resistance of acceptance, who are we pleasing here; ourselves for our noble efforts and benevolence? Is it true to say everyone can be saved?

Nutshell version: someone does not want help because of so many failures......why do we not accept what they say instead of inflicting more possible discomfort on them? (again, this scenario applies to someone with decades of failures). (I personally disagree with giving up on someone, and my reasons are in part so I can still feel good that I have done my best...a little self serving, but in a good way)

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Nutshell version: someone does not want help because of so many failures......why do we not accept what they say instead of inflicting more possible discomfort on them? (again, this scenario applies to someone with decades of failures). (I personally disagree with giving up on someone)

Nutshell answer: Because I have yet to meet someone who is truly beyond help. Sometimes the hardest task is to motivate that person to continue but if that can be accomplished there is always something else to try. And it's not really all trial and error - once you know the details of the history of prior "failures", that will usually provide strong clues toward what will be more successful.

 

[Yuray]

Good answer. thank you. Is it safe to say then that no one is beyond help, and that if their thinking can be modified, they can find comfort in life?, and that suicide victims just weren't helped fast enough?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I do believe that no one is beyond help.

But remember that it's not all in the hands of the helper... if the helpee refuses the help that's offered or available, s/he is likely to find that the depressed mood will persist. That doesn't make the situation for that individual hopeless. It just means that the individual has no hope and stops searching or accepting the help that's there.

 

[Yuray]

Thank you for wording it so well. I believe the same.

 

[forgetmenot]

Noone wanted to help they said she was beyond help they gave up these professionals. It only took one professional with compassion with the ability to see there was hope. Someone very wise and in the field for a very long time. After years of neglect he saw in her others didn't. The will to fight to get better and that one person i believe saved her. Never give up hope never as Dr Baxter said it only takes the one right connection between therapist and client to make it work. Thank god for him and his ability to truly care.

 

[weeze]

I was misdiagnosed for the majority of my life. I'm 66 now and only got the right psychiatrist in 2007. I've known for years that I'm BipolarII, yet no one paid attention to what I was saying. They just tried shoving more prozac down me. I am happy to say that after 30+ years of hopelessness, I'm on a cocktail of meds that works for me. I'm on lamictal, buspar and xanax. The xanax is for sleep. I also have to take flexaril for the muscle pain from a botched mastectomy. I'm closer to being myself than I've been in many, many years.
Never give up! I just kept saying bipolar, bipolar, bipolar!:2thumbs: