More threads by lilbun

lilbun

Member
So, I never quite got the whole 'talk to your aunts' crap figured out. We kind of just dropped it. Super good! In the meantime, in an effort to do some good, I went shopping for my brother's baby shower this weekend.

I printed out the registry at the store and... almost nothing had been purchased. The thing is a week away. Seems a little strange, but they registered at other places. I bought enough baby nonsense until I felt less guilty about hating my brother. Lol sufficiently broke, I stopped at another store they registered at and printed out their registry out of curiosity.

Also nothing purchased.

In an effort to snoop, I invited my brother and his wife out with my boyfriend and I. Surprisingly, it was a nice time (he's still an ass though). I find out from him that besides my mom's mom, and two aunts that called to decline attendance, no one else from my mom's side of the family has rsvped to the baby shower.

The invites went out last month. A month is a reasonable amount of time, isn't it? I'm not sure how these things work, really.

So, I take this info to my dad. I want his reaction since he wants me to be so close to these people. Surprisingly, he's either completely forgiving or just nonchalant about this obvious snub. This would be the first great grand child. Mildly worth celebrating, I would imagine.

I couldn't help myself and emailed my dad back saying that these are the people he wants me in contact with. These are the same people my brother actually does maintain a relationship with. I asked him how much we were expected to excuse and ignore and forgive just to crawl back for more. I told him family doesn't make anyone a good person, and that's sad.

I don't know. It's a mix. It's the feeling that my dad isn't there to back us up. It's the anger at my family for not even being there for this, when I didn't even want to be because of them and was told to basically suck it and go because it's my crappy brother's kid... and they don't even show up.

I tried to console my brother and tell him that Nanny's old and it's too far a drive for her, Aunt M has three little kids and a job and Aunt D is a Jehovah's Witness, so... yeah. I hate feeling bad for him, but I do. I said maybe they didn't rsvp but will still show up. People tend to do that more now. But, these people came from a time when you called to accept or decline an invite. I don't know.

It's not right or wrong, but I feel like this is even more ground for me to stand on to continue cutting off contact with my extended family.
 

rdw

MVP, Forum Supporter
MVP
Gosh I think you should just worry about you going to the shower. Your aunts and your grandmother will do what they choose to do and you can choose to do what you want to do. I'm wondering if you should just drop it and concentrate on your life. You said that your dad had dropped the subject of your aunts and maybe you should enjoy the peace. As well with the arrival of a new baby you can just relish the role of being an auntie. Babies are a wonderful healer.
 

MWCT

Account Closed
It is sad, but it is your aunt's choice to not attend or not even give a courtesy of an RSVP. I too feel bad for your brother, but it sounds like you are trying to make peace for your brother when it isn't your fault. Sounds like a wonderful time and have fun at the shower. If no one else shows up, at least you did to be there for your brother.
 
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