Do the symptoms worsen when your physical health is not up to par?

[Fiver]

Because I'm telling you, I'm going through hell right now. Things were nearly getting to a point where I felt like there was about to be a calming of the symptoms that were so hard to control when I first went back to work. Yesterday and today have been awful -- I'm sitting just waiting for my next reel of terror to smack me in the head again. I'm sweating, I'm hearing noises where I know there really aren't any (not hallucinations, just hypervigilance) and I can't slow my heart rate or my respirations. I'm in a state of panic, and I know I don't need to be.

The thing is, I'm sick. I'm still running a slight fever and I can't sleep because I can't stop coughing, and coughing produces an unGodly pain in my chest from the muscles I've pulled from coughing so hard...and oh sh*t, it just hit me. Seriously, it just hit me.

My ribs hurt from coughing. My head hurts from being sick. Yes, one's physical condition naturally contributes to the ability to handle emotional stress, duh. And to top it off, a lot of my pain is similar to that which I suffered at the fists of He Who Doesn't Even Deserve To Be Addressed By A Real Name Because He Lost His Right To Be Treated With Dignity 15 Months Ago. (That could probably have been made into an amusing acronym, but frankly? I'm not feeling very amused or amusing right now.)

I think I just answered my own question. Carry on. Nothing to see here.

 

[Andy]

"Carry on. Nothing to see here." That was cute.
I'm sorry. I wish I could suggest some secret cure I have been holding out on sharing with the rest of the world. Surprisingly enough, I can't. I can however wish you well as soon as possible.

Is there something you can do to relax yourself. Take a bath or deep breaths....a book? I am sure being tired has made you extra vulnerable to panic and all that as well.

You have support here. That's all I've got. Oh and that secret cure the plague.

 

[Fiver]

I know that this is something I need to ride out. The problem is, I'm just so damn tired of it all now. I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of having to learn new things about myself and how to deal with them, I'm tired of fighting. Dear lord, I'm so ****ing tired of fighting because that's all life seems like anymore. Just one big fight for everything.

I'm about two inches away from giving up.

 

[Andy]

Please don't give up.:support:
Maybe you need to stop fighting for a short while. Just take a break from trying to help yourself. Do you know what I mean? I mean everything can't be about hard issues and fixing yourself all the time. Maybe you just need to focus on having fun for a bit. Make that your mission. Then when you think your ready to get back to working on yourself then do so.

I understand wanting to give up. Especially with being sick for so long now. It plays on your emotions. It is so much easier then fighting for all things somewhat normal. It's not the answer though. That will only lead to more issues you will have to deal with. You want to move forward but at the same time don't do it if it's getting to be to much. Take a holiday from working on things.

You can do this Fiver. You my friend, are a fighter. Most definitely, so please hang in there. :support:

 

[Fiver]

I'm trying, Stipp. I really am. But today, this moment, this is a real struggle.

 

[Andy]

I hear you. Just have your moment. :support:

 

[Jazzey]

:hug: I'm sorry Fiver, that you're going through this. It does makes sense in that you're being sick right now is a stress on your body. I've just had a surgery on Friday that's brought me back to some of those places too. So I think it's normal.

Just remember that this is your brain playing tricks on you and use some of your grounding techniques Mahna, Mahna.

 

[Andy]

Doo doooo doo doo doo.

 

[Fiver]

Woot!

YouTube - The Muppet Show - Mahna Mahna (manamana, Mah-Na Mah-Na)

 

[Jazzey]

NOw that's a way to head off to work...:lol: I love that clip.

 

[Fiver]

"The question is, what is a 'Mahna Mahna?'"

"The question is, 'Who cares?'"

Indeed! As long as it makes me skip a little as you walk.

By the way, you guys ROCK.

 

[Jazzey]

You too Fiver

 

[white page]

To answer the question of the thread title, Yes !!
All the more reason to be really nice to yourself , like make an extra appointment with your therapist today or tomorrow at the latest, hot baths, your favourite foods and most important call your friends and say you are needing them.

 

[Fiver]

Asking my friends for help is hard...it's hard enough to ask you guys for help, but you make it easier because you've been where I am and you understand.

However...I will be okay. I will. I needed to get out some of whatever it was that is eating me to death, and I've done some of that. I also need to cry. I really, really need to cry, to sob, and I rarely allow that to happen. The last person I could do that with was the one person who I truly thought of as a mother figure -- who also happened to be my mother-in-law, Claire's mom, the wife of the man who has caused my current turbulence. She died of cancer the month after I was assaulted. In some ways I find comfort in this since she was terminal...and it spared her more pain than she needed at the end of her life. But I'm left without each of the people I felt safe enough to do what I need to do. Crying alone feels even more empty.

But fear not, for I have a Hoser in my life, and he's always clamoring to be snuggled and cuddled. When I cry, he's always willing to be with me. Of course, much of the time he's sitting there licking his butt or something, but at least he's there. God, I love that cat. I just don't care for when he licks my face after he has licked his butt.

I'll be okay, I promise. I'm going back to bed. I'm medicated, I'm sleepy, and I think for now I've stopped coughing my guts up.

Thank you all for holding my hand.

 

[Andy]

Hoser in Canada is a nick name like loser, dufus etc. but in a loving way.

You said I have a Hoser in my life. It made me laugh because I didn't know you had a cat. Anyway, animals can be very therepuetic (sp), I'm jelous, so I am glad that you have a hoser in your life.

Man do I ever have a lot of hosers in my life.:teehee:

Have a good sleep. My wish is for you to wake up feeling better. :support:

 

[forgetmenot]

I hope with a lot of rest and meds you will heal fast Fiver. Eat a lot of chicken soup i don't know why but it does help you to feel better. Take care just sending you some support your way.:hug:

 

[Fiver]

Hoser in Canada is a nick name like loser, dufus etc. but in a loving way.

You said I have a Hoser in my life. It made me laugh because I didn't know you had a cat. Anyway, animals can be very therepuetic (sp), I'm jelous, so I am glad that you have a hoser in your life.

Man do I ever have a lot of hosers in my life.:teehee:

Have a good sleep. My wish is for you to wake up feeling better. :support:

He earned his name, trust me.

And...thank you.

 

[NicNak]

Hi Fiver. Yes when I am sick, anything that makes me feel more unwell just makes everything else worse.

I can't imagine how you must feel right now with bronchitious and with dealing with day to day stresses.

For aches and pains, I have found Ebson salts and a warm bath to be helpful. The warm bath may help your coughing too, to help loosen up your chest.

Did the hospital send you hope with a prescription for antibiotics?

 

[Fiver]

I got IV fluids and antibiotics in the ER and was sent home with a script for more antibiotics, and a stronger cough medicine (Hycodan.) My body is telling me to sleep and I'm letting it boss me around for once.

 

[NicNak]

I am glad you are listening to your body Fiver. Please take time to rest, even if you have to take time from work.

I am happy you have antibiotics too, hopefully it will start helping soon.

You have a lot on your plate right now. :support: