More threads by David Baxter PhD

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
Grave Grief
by Jessica Pierce, Ph.D., in Psychology Today
January 11, 2014

"Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy." ~ Inuit saying

When it comes to heartache, the decision to euthanize a companion animal sits somewhere very near the top of the list. Yet even though euthanasia of companion animals is something that a vast majority of pet owners will face, there hasn't been a whole lot of research into how people make these grave end-of-life decisions and what the emotional fallout is for human caregivers of dying animals. A new study by researchers at Ben Gurion University, published in the February issue of Death Studies, sheds some new light on this common but under-researched experience.

The researchers interviewed 25 bereaved dog owners during the two weeks following the death of their animal. They asked participants questions about how they prepared themselves for the euthanasia, why they ultimately decided to euthanize, whether they felt guilty, how they handled the body, what memorial objects they had in the house to remind them of their dog, whether others understood and supported them, and whether they would get another dog in the near future.

One of the most common emotional reactions was a sense that there was a void or emptiness without the canine companion. The house seemed too quiet, or regular patterns—getting up and letting the dog out and fixing his breakfast, or going on walks together each night—were disrupted. Another common response was a feeling a guilt, both over the decision to euthanize and more generally about what you might call “lost opportunity” (“I was so involved with my job these past couple of years that I didn’t give my dog the attention she deserved.”) A number of people also reported “personification”: their dog was their confidante and they missed having someone with whom to share their joys and sorrows and secrets.
Most owners reported that they felt euthanasia was appropriate and prevented their animal from suffering. But 17% expressed feelings of doubt or regret about the euthanasia—which seems a rather high number. This suggests an important area for future research: delving more deeply into why some pet owners regret choosing euthanasia and what could be done to make sure nobody feels this way.

The researchers identified five common emotional and behavioral phases—or points in the grief period—experienced , to one degree or another, by all the study participants:

1. Decision to euthanize
2. Anticipating death and preparation
3. Burial
4. Mourning
5. Replacement/substitution

One interesting finding is that owners who took their deceased dog’s body home and performed a burial felt calmer than those who opted to leave the body at the veterinarian’s office to be cremated. In my opinion, this finding has less to do with actual method of handling the body (bury or cremate) than with the feelings of closure and celebration and memorialization that an after-death ceremony can provide.

The authors argue that grieving is not affected by the way a pet dies—whether by euthanasia, accident, or the natural progression of an illness. But I don’t believe we know enough to support this claim. The authors didn’t mention alternative approaches to animal end-of-life care, such as hospice-assisted natural death. I would like to see a comparison of grief reactions to these three possible end-of-life scenarios: euthanasia without hospice care; hospice care ending in euthanasia; and hospice care ending in natural death. I also think we need to continue exploring how the larger context within which dying takes place influences grief reactions and feelings of guilt. Some anecdotal data from the U.S. suggest that in-home euthanasia is less traumatic for dog owners (as well as dogs) than clinic-based euthanasia.

As the authors note, attitudes toward animal death are different from one culture to another. Their study was conducted in Israel. It would be interesting to see similar studies conducted in other countries and to find out whether there are significant differences in the way people grieve for animals around the world.

Here is some of what we know about pet loss: We know that many people grieve for their pets like they grieve for lost human loved-ones, though generally for a shorter period of time and with less intensity. We also know that a number of people suffer more intense grief over the death of an animal companion. Some percentage of people (about 20-30%) experience intense sadness, crying, and even depression, and in a small number of cases, the grieving process becomes so intense that a person cannot function well and sometimes even requires hospitalization. Although it makes sense that studies of pet loss and bereavement focus on those pet owners who are grieving, the research on pet loss has neglected what I think would be a very interesting group: those who do not grieve, who might fall into two general and very different categories: those who feel nothing because they had little to no attachment to the animal, and those closely bonded pet owners who feel a sense of calm acceptance, even joy (reminding us that not everyone views death as loss).

Reference: Tzivian, L., M. Friger, and T. Kushnir. "Grief and bereavement of Israeli dog owners: Exploring short-term phases pre- and post-euthanasia," Death Studies 38:109-117, 2014.
 
Several times over the years, we have had to make decisions regarding our pets who had become too frail and too ill to care for. Making the decision to have them put to sleep was the absolute worse because we felt that we had little say. When it came time to put down our much loved Bandit about 12 years ago, we found a vet who allowed us to be there with Bandit all the way to the end. While it was painful to go through, we were able to tell him how much we had loved being with him over the years. He had brought such joy and love to our lives. Additionally, we had Bandit cremated and brought his remains home -- his home. I have never regretted that decision. Thanks for the article David.
 

W00BY

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Great piece... in the uk we are only just beginning to realize that asking people to go back to work after three days (statutory) of grieving a human death particularly children may not be such a good idea.

I had two dogs one died of a cardiac effusion which was very sudden and shocking she was fine in the afternoon we went to put her out at night and she collapsed.
They wanted to start cutting into the sac around the heart to drain it to keep her alive (a major operation) and I asked them to let her go should her heart fill up after an initial draining (which it did)

as my dogs were sisters and a notorious breed for not doing well in any medical situation I knew my time with my other dog was going to be very limited and I mentally prepared myself for it and last summer she did start to dwindle, I also had the extra difficulty of because they had been rescued a visit to the vet could have stressed them enough to kill them so this was always weighed up in the odds of how ill they were to the risk of a vet visit.

The night before I had my other dog put down I knew and prepared myself for it...I think she knew as well her body was simply shutting down.

I think as human beings it is the greatest thing we can do for an animal is to recognize when the time has come to let them go and face it head on and do it.

Yes it is still clinical and cold in some way but as a kid I never heard of anyone cremating an animal and getting the ashes yet now it is common place.

I have been emotionally gutted to lose both my dogs they were very frighten timid creatures that had been very abused and were completely wild before I took them in and with patience and understanding I domesticated them the best I could and they showed me such love and devotion and strangely when I was really depressed or down seemed to know and would pester me for affection.

The sense of lose I have felt is indescribable and I think that is what in some people drives them to do everything in their power to keep an animal alive... I chose not to bring my dogs home and bury them for me it is a real conundrum with things such as what if you move house? or they start needing to dig where they are buried? etc

I really do miss tramping about muddy fields nearly losing my walking boots and watching my dogs pick up the scents of other animals on a sunny day (just me and them no-one else for miles) and still frequently shock myself at how much it hurts me that they are gone!

I tell no one either which is probably where society still has a bit of catching up to do...feeling such lose over an animal is not really given much thought by anyone other than the grieving owner/family.
 
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