Esteem or confidence?

[bkqa]

Hi, i've got a bit of dilemma going on.. whether i lack self esteem or self confidence?

- I like myself.
- I really really want to be popular and liked by lots of people
- i think im generally ok at my job
- i feel sad and think something is wrong with me when people don't talk to me or want to get to know me more.

So.. what do you think? lack of confidence or self esteem!

Many thanks x

 

[Mari]

Re: esteem or confidence?

H! bkqa! Did you try the self-esteem on line questionnaire in this section? I think I will try it myself after I get some sleep. :sleepy: Mari

 

[braveheart]

Re: esteem or confidence?

My thought is that you're feeling slightly insecure. If you like yourself, then you have self esteem.

 

[Lana]

Re: esteem or confidence?

Self esteem is having positive regard for yourself. Self confidence is knowing your strengths and limitations and believing in them. So, if I were to use your example:

Self esteem = I am likable, friendly, approachable, etc.
Self confidence = blieving in your actions and abilities and giving others enough room for their own actions and abilities (i.e. not seeking their approval or expecting them to do as you do)

 

[bkqa]

Re: esteem or confidence?

Hi there

well many thanks for your replys.

Do you think i could be suffering from co-dependency? or is this not related to what i am feeling?

 

[Lana]

Re: esteem or confidence?

Hi BKQA;

I think Braveheart is right by saying that feelings of sadness when someone is not speaking to you may be attributed to insecurity.

Honestly, I think all of us at one time or another suffer from that and I really wouldn't necessarily chalk it up to a diagnosis. Also, Psychlinks abstains from making any diagnoses except to say that if you feel that your feelings trouble you to seek a therapist or doctor, or someone you can talk to about them.

Having said all that, there really isn't enough information to even guess what may be going on. You may be sensitive to rejection, or maybe the company you're in is guarded, or maybe they're occupied with their own issues. It's really hard to tell. But if it helps, just because someone is not talking to you, it doesn't mean something is wrong with you or your relationship with that person. You can always approach them and ask if everything is alright. Who knows, maybe they're in need of help now.

 

[Mari]

Took the test. :dimples:

Self-Esteem Score 53 - What does your score mean?
According to this test, you have a reasonably high level of self-esteem. There is, however, still some room for improvement.

Considering how very bad I feel right now I guess this indicates some hope for me. :hide: Mari

 

[Halo]

There's always hope Mari :heart:

:hug: :hug:

 

[Tampa11]

Ego (by any other name) comes to mind, what works for me is, when I am concerned about what someone thinks of me, it's about my ego, that will get me into trouble. All I can do is what I perceive as doing, or saying the right thing at that time. It will not always make me happy or be correct, but it will be the best I can do at that time. I understand that how I see things are solely based on my past, not as they really are. That makes me human, as long as I try my best to do the right thing, I then find me liking myself.

 

[ladylore]

:goodpost: Tampa.