Facebook :(

[Cat Dancer]

I like facebook. I keep in touch with a lot of family and friends that way. I probably spend too much time on there. There isn't any controversy and people are always nice to me. That is my big problem, people being nice. IT's so painful. I almost want to quit so I won't have to deal with it. And I KNOW it is weird and silly and maybe stupid. And I don't understand it. I am trying to just not communicate with people there so that might minimize the pain. I am sad that I can turn something good into something painful.

 

[bloodwood]

Hi Cat Dancer,

It is funny but I recently read an article about social media and it indicated that those who spend a great deal of time on facebook have a greater level of depression and unhappiness.
This is one report on that study:

How Facebook Makes Us Unhappy : The New Yorker

So you are not alone in your reaction to this virtual exposure and greater expectation it carries. I personally try to avoid much use of Facebook. You said it does have some real benefits for you though. A friend of mine had a rule for his children where they were only allowed to watch screen (TV or computer) for two hours a day - No more.

Is it possible a similar self imposed rule might help you. For example - You can only use facebook for one hour each of three days a week. So you might use it Monday, Thursday and Saturday for up to one hour at a time. A way to succeed is that before you log on, you prepare a bit of a plan for how you will use that coming hour - who you will contact, what you want to say.

Also turn off the feature where Facebook sends notifications to your email. Or simply don't read them until your "Facebook hour".
It is going to be a bit like quitting smoking so you should expect a challenge here. You are breaking a bit of a dependency and lifestyle. Think of some rule like that which can reimpose some balance for you.

The facebook and other mechanisms feed, or try to feed, some of our needs and in balance it can be helpful. But in imbalance it can place us into an uncomfortable state.

And people are being nice because you are nice.

---------- Post Merged at 09:16 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 08:55 AM ----------

PS The other thing is that but using it less you will come to appreciate it more as you once did.