Fine For Now...?

[Christy]

Hi. Call me Christy. I have just come out of a deep depression/anxiety period. Just snapped out of it and went a little hypo manic. Not too much. I have leveled out for now. You never know what's around the corner though. I used to have real highs and lows when I was younger. [hate to say younger! ] I'm 44 now, but I don't look it at all. But that's beside the point. It took a long time to diagnose myself and try to get help. I haven't gotten any proper help yet. I'm only on Zeldox now and I feel like I should be on something more. I find myself tensed up for no reason, say while watching TV. That bothers me. And I guess I'm just waiting for the next depression to hit. And for a long time I've hated going to sleep. It's worse now. My husband snores sooo loud. I've been on sleeping pills for so long. But the side effects of Zeldox make it worse to go to sleep,but it does put you to sleep just getting there is so hard.

How crappy it is that It's acceptable that I have Crohn's Disease and IBS. And just next to having cervical cancer [got myself a hysterectomy btw]. But broken brains are another issue. Not taken well by the general population. I got very well at hiding it. Even other doctors aren't well at dealing with it [non psych's].

I'm not too sure what to do next to help myself. Well I guess I know but I don't want to do it. Now that the word is out to everyone that I could go to Homewood for intensive therapy, everyone wants me to go. Since no one has helped me. But I do have a very anti-social part of me. Even though I'm a friendly nice person. And the programs make me feel very anti-social. Bi-Polar you see. So I feel traped. I love my independance. And my husband is my rock. He loves me no matter what. I know I'm very lucky to have him.

I don't bother thinking about the future. I've never cared for life too much. If it weren't for my husband I probably wouldn't be here. I must mention Joey my Siamese cat. I love him and he loves me. He's patiently waiting for me to finish being on the computer. Siamese are different, their like part dog, very loyal. So I'll go off and be with him now.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

See also http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-and-therapists/23539-being-pushed-to-go-to-homewood.html

 

[Daniel E.]

I'm not too sure what to do next to help myself. Well I guess I know but I don't want to do it. Now that the word is out to everyone that I could go to Homewood for intensive therapy, everyone wants me to go.

Does Homewood provide outpatient services to people who haven't been in their in-patient program?

Have you looked into other resources in the area that may be more appealing to you while also being affordable?

For example:
http://cioc.cmhagrb.on.ca/
http://www.crhspp.ca/findlist.php
http://www.mhsio.on.ca/

 

[Christy]

No Homewood does not have an out patient service. I appretiate you trying to help me. But I'm kinda sorry that I involved myself in this whole thing. I don't know what to do. I have to go to another town to see a psychiatrist. And she's not that helpful. I think they have more resoures there but I don't drive. It's wierd where I live. I saw for a little while what may have been a social worker, who kept on telling me I should take up needle point. And I was lucky to have any time with a psychiatrist. And he tried to convince me that I was having panic attacks. I know what they are and don't have them. And he was shocked when I told him that the sleeping pills weren't working. I don't expect the psych day care would be much different from what I witnessed before. No real individual care. I did get a one time assesment at Sunnybrook. But my psychiatrist represcibed pills he said I shouldn't be on. Great huh.
I thank you for your help. But this is an exercise in futility right now for me.

"So long and thanks for all the fish"
-Douglas Adams

 

[Daniel E.]

I saw for a little while what may have been a social worker, who kept on telling me I should take up needle point.

So it seems you have never seen a qualified therapist or a psychologist for any significant amount of time. If so, it's unfortunate, though not uncommon since mood disorders tend to be undertreated, especially in rural areas. And it seems you not yet tried CBT therapy, which is a very popular, well-researched psychotherapy for treating mood disorders like depression.

A good introduction to CBT is the self-help book Feeling Good by David Burns which is a popular library book as well. There are also online resources for CBT, including self-help resources like MoodGym (which is free) as well as online therapists.

A couple excerpts from MoodGym:

According to Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, people feel emotionally bad for three reasons:

• They have a negative view of themselves as people;
• They interpret experiences in a negative and biased way; and
• They have a negative view of the future – they expect everything to continue the way it is.

If this is true, this might also mean that happy people feel happy for the following reasons:

• They have a positive view of themselves as people;
• They interpret experiences in a positive and unbiased (or even positively biased) way; and
• They have a positive view of the future, they expect everything to continue the way it is.

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/moodgym/feelings/why

Most depressed or anxious people do not like feeling unhappy, depressed or anxious. However, having a negative view of oneself, of the situation and of the future can become a habit. Depression or vulnerability to depression may come from too many years of holding wrong views of oneself as weak or unlovable, thinking in negative or biased ways, and knowing (or thinking one knows) that problems will continue in the future...

Many factors contribute to feeling depressed and anxious. But MoodGYM suggests that you might be able to protect yourself from some of these feelings by taking positive action to improve your thinking patterns and thereby changing your life...

Changing your view about yourself, changing your thoughts about events and changing your view of the future will change the way you feel. This is a really simple idea but highly effective. Cognitive Therapy maintains that your emotions are strongly influenced by what you think. Negative emotions are caused by thinking negative (or warped) thoughts. Positive emotions are caused by thinking positive (or unwarped) thoughts.

MoodGYM calls this the WUTIWUF strategy. (What-you-think-is-what-you-feel). What you think is what you feel is not a new strategy. Shakespeare, for example, gave Hamlet the following lines "There is neither good nor ill but thinking makes it so". Here he recognised that it is one’s interpretations of events rather than the quality of the event that determines their emotional impact.

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/moodgym/feelings/why_think

Let’s illustrate this with a few examples that might convince you that this could be the case. You are reading this and thinking: this sounds OK, it probably works for other people, …but it would never work for me. You start to feel dispirited. Maybe you think that MoodGYM is offering something that it can’t deliver. Stop for a second and consider what may be depressing you. It is your interpretation that this simple strategy will never work for you. It can’t be due to what is written here at MoodGYM.

How could what is written here make you depressed? The words could make you uninterested of course. It’s the thoughts that you have about these pages (that they will never work for you), that are affecting how you feel.

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/moodgym/feelings/thinkers