Fragmenting - What does it mean?

[NightOwl]

I've been told that after being attacked I've fragmented but I really don't know very much about fragmenting. I've been trying to do some Google searches to find out more. Just the word itself seems to explain a lot of how I feel.

I once described it as if I was a perfect Jig-Saw puzzle that had been completed and someone came along and threw it across the floor and all the pieces shattered. Now I find myself trying to put all those pieces together again to make myself and my life whole again.

I'm a strong person and I'm determined to put my life together again.

I don't know if any of this makes sense but I would really appreciate any help.

NightOwl :reading:

 

[Daniel E.]

I don't know, but searching Google Books for "fragmentation" and "PTSD" may help.http://books.google.com/books?id=yS...3LDYDQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I'm not sure whether the reference is to memory fragmentation or personality fragmentation (the latter is more related to early chronic abuse), but the following may get you started. Some of these are rather academic, I'm afraid.

See:

PTSD MEMORY Rape Crisis Information Pathfinder

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/584793_8

Trauma and Recovery

Behavior: The Invisible Epidemic - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Memory and the Brain

The Lasting Effects of Psychological Trauma on Memory and the Hippocampus

http://servidor.ugr.es/~neurocogweb/07-MRVF-ACP.pdf

Multiple Personality Disorder

http://www.onnovdhart.nl/articles/memoryfrag.pdf

PTSD

Relationship between PTSD and MPD/DID

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Treatment and Recovery – PTSD - Life Healing Center

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: Brain Chemistry and New Research/Treatments

The Neurobiology of Trauma and the Developing Brain in Childhood

The Dana Foundation - Coming Apart: Trauma and the Fragmentation of the Self

PEP Web - Attachment Deficits, Personality Structure, and PTSD

http://www.asso-etud.unige.ch/adepsy/doc/articleESPT.pdf
​

 

[NightOwl]

Thank you Daniel and David for your replies. That's given me plenty to read and study, which I love.

David - some of my memory has been fragmented; I have some very firm fixed memories but blanks in between. Some of it comes back in nightmares and flashbacks which can be very upsetting and confusing at times. I've done some research on some of the memories that have come back and established that what I remember is real and confirmed by others.

Also I seem to have become 2 people in one body - the hurt part of me that seemed to do all the fighting and surviving has dropped into a deep sleep, I refer to that part as "her" or "she". Sometimes I leave her tucked up in bed while I get on with my life in the most efficient way that I know how; it's when I go to sleep that the 2 of us join up again and I then have horrific nightmares because I can't use diversions or avoidance so easily. I was a business woman before this all happened and that's how I deal with life, although I feel always on alert to protect myself and my loved ones.

I use a lot of avoidance techniques and detach myself emotionally as much as possible from what happened. I did go down the route of substance abuse originally which was stupid and obviously didn't work. I'm now trying to re-introduce some of the things that cause me triggers but it is very difficult, as avoidance is so much easier in the short term.

Many thanks for your replies.

NightOwl