Hi Everyone

[Janey]

I have come here as I realise that I can't deal with all these emotions on my own.
I have been trying to cope with witnessing death of a young man. A stranger who for whatever reasons choose to end his life. My life since has been one of fear, dread, panic, nightmares & flashbacks. In a few months it will be the 1st anniversary of it and I feel I don't want to face it alone.
I would like to learn from others experiences the coping mechanisms I need & welcome any advice.
Thank you.

 

[Retired]

Re: Hi Everyone,

Hello Janey and welcome to Psychlinks. Thank you for joining us and I hope we might provide some help and support in light of the traumatic experience you had in witnessing a suicide.

Suicide, unfortunately affects not just the person who commits the act, but also those in proximity, both physically and by relationship, and everyone involved should really seek out counseling to help cope with the memory of the event.

Have you reached out for some counseling or therapy during the past year following this tragedy?

 

[Mari]

Re: Hi Everyone,

Welcome to Psychlinks Janey. I support what Steve said and would add as many supports as possible. I have found that many people do not want to talk about suicide but talking with a supportive person(s) can be very helpful. This forum has been a great help for me with all the good information and good people.

 

[Janey]

Re: Hi Everyone,

Thank you Steve,
I did receive counselling through our Drs. I learnt to use photos of my family, favourite places to help, especially at night & it helps. I don't feel I can now talk to my family , as although we were on holiday together , we all had different involvement with what happened. My son & husband went to find help while I stayed with him. They don't feel the need to talk so I don't want to bring the subject up.

---------- Post Merged at 10:26 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 10:18 AM ----------

Thank you Mari,
I am hoping that through this forum I can maybe get some answers to the many questions I have. If not answers maybe just some peace/ reassurance that there are others who understand how I feel.
I am glad this forum helped you.

 

[Retired]

Re: Hi Everyone,

They don't feel the need to talk so I don't want to bring the subject up.

Many if not most people have a difficult time talking about suicide, let alone saying the word. It's one of the reasons people contemplating suicide have difficulty receiving support and understanding from friends and family, even though the person with suicidal thoughts is probably sending out clear signals and red flags.

I wonder if the same might be true in the case of your husband and son, who, for a variety of reasons, the least of which could be denial, refuse to confront their own feelings. By not allowing you to express your own concerns and issues with the situation, are they not denying you the ability to vent your own issues and concerns?

I believe we should all be available to at least listen to anyone who wants to relieve themselves of their deepest most intimate concerns, especially when it's a family member in crisis.

Do you have communication issues with other sensitive subjects with your husband and son?

 

[Janey]

Re: Hi Everyone,

Hi Steve, I don't want to bring the subject up as I know they will worry about me.
In the days & weeks that followed we all spoke a lot but they now are ok & don't feel the need to go over it like I do. I can talk to either of them about anything & they support me in getting help, like joining here etc, but it's me that doesn't want them to know how much it has affected me.

 

[rurouni]

***trigger warning***


Hi Janey,

I'm new here as well. As someone with a long history of depression, I've been suicidal several times. I've gone so far as to plan in advance to take care of loved ones, written a note, etc. What stopped me each time was thinking of the pain and guilt that I may leave behind. As hard as I tried to think of ways to just disappear, one can't just disappear.

Your perspective having witnesses a stranger's suicide has helped me. Having as many reasons to live as possible at such a low point is vital, and you've given me another. Thank you.

I'm listening, if you need to talk.

 

[Janey]

Rurouni Thank you.
I am so grateful that you took the time to post here. Your words mean so much to me.
To feel so desperately low that suicide seems your only way out must be terrifying. To think of others at a point like that , to me, shows an incredible strength.
To say that sharing my experience has given you any positive help has made me so emotional.
Thank you.