Hello everyone, you can call me Xalise. I'm a 21 year old college student. I actually signed up for this forum like a month ago, but I kept putting off introducing myself and hopefully dealing with the reason I came to this forum in the first place.
You see, I think there's a good chance that I'm dealing with formal thought disorder. I've always been a little off (eccentric in mannerisms, thought, and speech) since elementary school, and while I take much pride in my uniqueness, this past year the difficulties I've had in stressful or social situations have gotten a bit worse. My family always thought I was just a bit weird and socially a late bloomer, but too many things are adding up in my mind to just assume that I'm magically going to get better on my own.
I came to you guys for help firstly, because I don't know any of you, and therefore there's very little chance of this getting back to the influential people in my life, and secondly because I don't think it would help me any to go to my parents (not to mention that my community is pretty tight so if I had to go to a psychologist, I think the odds are pretty good that it would get out, if even just a little.)
Ah, I should probably give you a list of my symptoms (verify by my reasonable little brother):
1. Blocking (apparently I do this a lot, sometimes I even notice it myself, and I wonder "did I finish my words"?)
2. Circumstantiality (I wasn't always like this, it seems to have developed in high school, and it makes it so I tell really boring stories, which everyone hates, lol)
3. Clanging (I only seem to do this when I haven't ate for a while, and I've become loud, obnoxious, and hyper(?) It seems to accompany random singing of sentences)
4. Distractible Speech (this happens when I'm alert, and it feels like I'm taking everything in at once)
5. Evasive Interaction (This happens about 40% of the time when I'm talking. It's so very frustrating, because even if I notice it's happening, it doesn't stop)
6. Illogicality (personally, I think this is just a part of my personality, but I thought I'd put it down, just in case)
7. Neologisms (This happens all the time, but usually when I'm at home)
8. Pressure of Speech (according to my brother, I'm the poster child for this.)
9. Semantic Paraphasia (this happens in tangent with my pressure speech. A lot, especially if I'm nervous.)
10. Stilted Speech (this used to happen a lot, but now I'm the opposite. I miss having a better verbal vocabulary)
11. Self reference??? (this may be just a part of my introverted personality. I'm an INFJ(Myers-Briggs personality typology, yay I'm the rarest kind of person in the world, lol) by the way.)
12. Tangentiality (I feel like I have to explain myself, if that makes any sense.)
Also here's some unrelated(?) things about me:
1. I have an iron deficiency (if this is too much info, look away now...I'm a heavy bleeder during my cycle)
2. I have trouble focusing on simple things at times, to the point where I "just don't get it"
3. Educational wise, I'm actually pretty smart, although you probably wouldn't be able to tell unless you saw me when I was "clear" in my thinking. (one of the major reasons that I'm seeking help is that I having less and less clear times)
4. I get extremely tired easily
This is all quite new to me (and ironic, since I want to become a psychologist). It wasn't even like I was picking at my character or searching out flaws, I found a link to the thought disorder Wikipedia page while I was surfing tvtropes. After I read the contents of the page, I became quite concerned since many things hit home. If you have any questions to ask me, feel free, but don't tell me to go to a doctor, if I thought that was practical at this point I would have already did it. It's too costly, and it could jeopardize everything I've worked for up until this point.
Wow, this is kinda long, huh?
You see, I think there's a good chance that I'm dealing with formal thought disorder. I've always been a little off (eccentric in mannerisms, thought, and speech) since elementary school, and while I take much pride in my uniqueness, this past year the difficulties I've had in stressful or social situations have gotten a bit worse. My family always thought I was just a bit weird and socially a late bloomer, but too many things are adding up in my mind to just assume that I'm magically going to get better on my own.
I came to you guys for help firstly, because I don't know any of you, and therefore there's very little chance of this getting back to the influential people in my life, and secondly because I don't think it would help me any to go to my parents (not to mention that my community is pretty tight so if I had to go to a psychologist, I think the odds are pretty good that it would get out, if even just a little.)
Ah, I should probably give you a list of my symptoms (verify by my reasonable little brother):
1. Blocking (apparently I do this a lot, sometimes I even notice it myself, and I wonder "did I finish my words"?)
2. Circumstantiality (I wasn't always like this, it seems to have developed in high school, and it makes it so I tell really boring stories, which everyone hates, lol)
3. Clanging (I only seem to do this when I haven't ate for a while, and I've become loud, obnoxious, and hyper(?) It seems to accompany random singing of sentences)
4. Distractible Speech (this happens when I'm alert, and it feels like I'm taking everything in at once)
5. Evasive Interaction (This happens about 40% of the time when I'm talking. It's so very frustrating, because even if I notice it's happening, it doesn't stop)
6. Illogicality (personally, I think this is just a part of my personality, but I thought I'd put it down, just in case)
7. Neologisms (This happens all the time, but usually when I'm at home)
8. Pressure of Speech (according to my brother, I'm the poster child for this.)
9. Semantic Paraphasia (this happens in tangent with my pressure speech. A lot, especially if I'm nervous.)
10. Stilted Speech (this used to happen a lot, but now I'm the opposite. I miss having a better verbal vocabulary)
11. Self reference??? (this may be just a part of my introverted personality. I'm an INFJ(Myers-Briggs personality typology, yay I'm the rarest kind of person in the world, lol) by the way.)
12. Tangentiality (I feel like I have to explain myself, if that makes any sense.)
Also here's some unrelated(?) things about me:
1. I have an iron deficiency (if this is too much info, look away now...I'm a heavy bleeder during my cycle)
2. I have trouble focusing on simple things at times, to the point where I "just don't get it"
3. Educational wise, I'm actually pretty smart, although you probably wouldn't be able to tell unless you saw me when I was "clear" in my thinking. (one of the major reasons that I'm seeking help is that I having less and less clear times)
4. I get extremely tired easily
This is all quite new to me (and ironic, since I want to become a psychologist). It wasn't even like I was picking at my character or searching out flaws, I found a link to the thought disorder Wikipedia page while I was surfing tvtropes. After I read the contents of the page, I became quite concerned since many things hit home. If you have any questions to ask me, feel free, but don't tell me to go to a doctor, if I thought that was practical at this point I would have already did it. It's too costly, and it could jeopardize everything I've worked for up until this point.
Wow, this is kinda long, huh?
