Hi, there

More threads by Donavic

D

Donavic

Member
Hi, where do I begin, my life is like most of the people on here, Somedays are great others not so much but you have to give each day it's chance to prove itself. I live with bipolar and my boyfriend is the cutest narcissist in the world and we have made another little human, mental struggles are yet to be discovered, trying not to inflict any on him myself. I see my boyfriend and I has manic & depressive a couple of opposites that balance the other out, but sometimes the scales tip wrong direction in our minds and it not a pretty sight.
Apart from a lobotomy how do you keep in love with oneside of a personality and be enemies with the other, how can the two meet in the middle and make up?
 
J

Jazzey

Account Closed
Member
Welcome to psychlinks Donavic :)

Apart from a lobotomy how do you keep in love with oneside of a personality and be enemies with the other, how can the two meet in the middle and make up?
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Do you mean loving the one side of your boyfriend's personality but not the other? Or, do you mean loving one aspect of yourself and not another?

Either way, I think the answer is the same for me - I just focus on the reasons why I love the aspect that I do love. We all have some aspects of our personalities which aren't particularly attractive. But if the whole package is pretty decent, why focus on those negatives? And I know, easier said than done on some days - but that's the key, only on some days. So on those days, I try and remember that on the other days, everything's good. :)
 
H

Halo

Member
Hi Donavic and welcome to Psychlinks :welcome2:

I am glad that you decided to join us and I hope to see you around :wave:

To answer some of your questions you may want to check out the resources and articles that are posted in the relevant forums....there's lots to read :)
 
D

Donavic

Member
Mainly did mean his personality mines not a bunch of roses but i'm not as volatile and destructive, I'm actually a little boring and a goody goody only because of extensive soul searching and training, I try to see the glass as half full, he picks up the glass and breaks it then slices himself, we are great examples of opposites attract and repel. We love eachother with a passion so fierce it scares both of us at times. it hard to get him to understand you cannot run away from yourself and a broken mind can't fix itself completely.
 
J

Jazzey

Account Closed
Member
Donavic said:
Mainly did mean his personality mines not a bunch of roses but i'm not as volatile and destructive, I'm actually a little boring and a goody goody only because of extensive soul searching and training, I try to see the glass as half full, he picks up the glass and breaks it then slices himself, we are great examples of opposites attract and repel. We love eachother with a passion so fierce it scares both of us at times. it hard to get him to understand you cannot run away from yourself and a broken mind can't fix itself completely.
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Are either of you, or both of you seeing a psychologist? I'm wondering, and I hope you don't mind, if a psychologist wouldn't be able to help the two of you find a better balance between the polar moods in the relationship?
 
D

Donavic

Member
I have seen professionals before and was doing really well with the tools I learnt from them, With dealing with his and having a small child it has taken it's toll and I made big mistake by giving him ultimatum to get help,He had arranged for us to go see a couples counsellor and as well as find single doctors for ourselves and he was going to go into rehab for his drug addictions, but unfortunately he got scared and left us for over a week and in that week went haywire,

Slept with my now ex best friend drove her car drunk got into an accident and tried to lose his job. He's just starting to come back to us. He struggling with acceptance of his condition cause like most ego-tistical disorders he fluctuates between it being a problem he wants to fix ,to not thinking he's worth all the hassle and we have made up the problem in our minds.

I'm trying to be patient but 6 years is a long time to wait for someone to live up to their promises and seek help, and leading by example only works if the person is paying attention to whats going on around them. You may have guessed i'm never speechless or typeless, sorry if your eyes are burning.
 
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J

Jazzey

Account Closed
Member
Donavic said:
I have seen professionals before and was doing really well with the tools I learnt from them, With dealing with his and having a small child it has taken it's toll and I made big mistake by giving him ultimatum to get help,He had arranged for us to go see a couples counsellor and as well as find single doctors for ourselves and he was going to go into rehab for his drug addictions, but unfortunately he got scared and left us for over a week and in that week went haywire,

Slept with my now ex best friend drove her car drunk got into an accident and tried to lose his job. He's just starting to come back to us. He struggling with acceptance of his condition cause like most ego-tistical disorders he fluctuates between it being a problem he wants to fix ,to not thinking he's worth all the hassle and we have made up the problem in our minds.

I'm trying to be patient but 6 years is a long time to wait for someone to live up to their promises and seek help, and leading by example only works if the person is paying attention to whats going on around them. You may have guessed i'm never speechless or typeless, sorry if your eyes are burning.
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*type away* Donavic :D. Always willing to read around this place.:)

I'm sorry you're going through all of this. It's a tough situation for anyone to have to deal with. Is he still willing to do couple's counseling now? 6 years is a long time to wait Donavic. Especially when there's a child now involved in the relationship.

And, as you so eloquently state yourself, we can't always change the ones we love. We can help them get to where they're going but only if they want to get there.

In your situation, I would be tempted to urge him once again to seek help. With all of his problems. I would especially be concerned for your safety and that of your baby's. You can love someone passionately. But unfortunately sometimes love just isn't enough to make a successful relationship. I'm guessing you already know this given your questions here tonight....:hug:
 
R

Retired

Member
Welcome to Psychlinks! Glad you found us. Hope you find helpful information here.

Be sure to let us know if you need assistance navigating the Forum.

Enjoy Psychlinks!

:welcome2:
 
amastie

amastie

Member
Hi Donavic and welcome to the forums :)

I'm terrribly sorry that you are in such a difficult place. I agree that sometimes love isn't enough to live with someone, at least in peace and you owe it to your child not to have your partner acting out esp violently and drug-taking.

Keep encouraging him to get the therapy he needs and maintain your own support with a therapist/psychiatrist who can oversee your meds (I imagine that you take them) for your bipolar.

:support:
 
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