David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
How You Become the Wolf You Feed
by Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
Oct 21st 2010
In Taking The Leap, Pema Chodron tells an old Native American story of a grandfather who has two wolves in his heart, one was vengeful and the other kind. One day his grandson came up to him and asked him which wolf wins in a fight, to which the elder replied, ?Whichever one I feed.?
When it comes to everyday life you?d be hard pressed to find someone who would argue with the statement that we are our own worst critics. Some people may point to their parents or a recent boss, but at the end of the day, we internalize those voices too and they just become our voice.
The voices that we entertain with more thoughts and actions are the ones we feed. Soon we start looking like one wolf or the other.
The fact is, life is simple but our minds are complex.
Deep down we know that if we were kinder and more compassionate to ourselves we would live in this world with greater ease and likely be happier.
So why do we get caught in the trap of feeding the vengeful or hurtful wolf so often? Maybe a better question is what made that wolf so vengeful and hurtful to begin with and what does that wolf really need to feel at peace?
We are wired for survival, so it makes sense that a part of us serves as a protector. Maybe that wolf is trying to protect us from some perceived danger. If it tells us of our worthlessness then we don?t have to take up a challenge that may lead to disappointment. If it numbs us out with depression, maybe we don?t have to feel the pain that is underneath.
Because we spend much of our time on auto-pilot, we may not be realizing how often we are feeding the hurtful wolf.
Perhaps today we might consider an intentional practice toward feeding the kind wolf by practicing be kind to ourselves and others. Is there something you?ve been putting off that you wanted to do for yourself or another? If you?re used to overdoing it at work, is there a way to ease up on yourself and remember that your ?in basket? will never be empty.
To begin ?being the change you want to see in the world? it has to be an intentional practice, otherwise, the auto-pilot will lead us down the path of least resistance.
The fact is there is no other time than now and we don?t know what tomorrow will bring.
Take a breath; it?s time to get started on a new chapter?
by Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
Oct 21st 2010
In Taking The Leap, Pema Chodron tells an old Native American story of a grandfather who has two wolves in his heart, one was vengeful and the other kind. One day his grandson came up to him and asked him which wolf wins in a fight, to which the elder replied, ?Whichever one I feed.?
When it comes to everyday life you?d be hard pressed to find someone who would argue with the statement that we are our own worst critics. Some people may point to their parents or a recent boss, but at the end of the day, we internalize those voices too and they just become our voice.
The voices that we entertain with more thoughts and actions are the ones we feed. Soon we start looking like one wolf or the other.
The fact is, life is simple but our minds are complex.
Deep down we know that if we were kinder and more compassionate to ourselves we would live in this world with greater ease and likely be happier.
So why do we get caught in the trap of feeding the vengeful or hurtful wolf so often? Maybe a better question is what made that wolf so vengeful and hurtful to begin with and what does that wolf really need to feel at peace?
We are wired for survival, so it makes sense that a part of us serves as a protector. Maybe that wolf is trying to protect us from some perceived danger. If it tells us of our worthlessness then we don?t have to take up a challenge that may lead to disappointment. If it numbs us out with depression, maybe we don?t have to feel the pain that is underneath.
Because we spend much of our time on auto-pilot, we may not be realizing how often we are feeding the hurtful wolf.
Perhaps today we might consider an intentional practice toward feeding the kind wolf by practicing be kind to ourselves and others. Is there something you?ve been putting off that you wanted to do for yourself or another? If you?re used to overdoing it at work, is there a way to ease up on yourself and remember that your ?in basket? will never be empty.
To begin ?being the change you want to see in the world? it has to be an intentional practice, otherwise, the auto-pilot will lead us down the path of least resistance.
The fact is there is no other time than now and we don?t know what tomorrow will bring.
Take a breath; it?s time to get started on a new chapter?
