I didn't know when to stop

[Lonewolf]

I needed the pain! I couldn't deal with the emotions I was overwhelmed with so I turned it into something that I find easier to cope with! Unfortunately it became dangerous! I covered it and ignored it for several days, but after that, I felt that maybe I should get it checked out! I saw the nurse at my Dr's surgery and she seemed quite concerned about it! I've now got to see her again tomorrow and the Dr on Monday! I really didn't think it was as bad as it seems to be!

I had a nagging voice in my head daring me to go further and further with the injury to see how much pain I could take!

For some reason, im feeling so emotional! I am also feeling very vulnerable! (don't ask me to what, as im not sure?)

Im so frightened, like a little kid! just want to squeeze a teddy very, very tight and hide under my duvet, and wait for someone to reassure me that everything is going to be O.K!

I know it sounds stupid! mg:

 

[Budoaiki]

Re: I didn't know when to stop!

Thereeper,

No matter the injury physical or emotional and no matter the cause eventually it has to be taken care of for our own well being. Thresholds vary so sevarity can be hard to judge but the strength in my opinion doesn't come from what we can or what we've had to bare but from learning to accept when we need help for our well being.

 

[MHealthJo]

Re: I didn't know when to stop!

It doesn't sound stupid hun, it doesn't.

Given your past, honey, maybe this extra bad and scary episode has been triggered a bit by the fact that you decided to see someone that you can talk to more fully and receive help more fully. Your family has taught you and convinced you that it is wrong and dangerous to acknowledge how you have been treated and to talk about it. You are stepping a little further out of the 'scapegoat' role they created for you. So in your mind, it is like something very dangerous and scary is happening.

So sorry it is so scary right now hun. But just remember.... it is NOT wrong and it is NOT dangerous, getting that help that you need, and stepping away from that role which you never deserved, which does not belong to you in any way. And your family does not know, and they don't need to know and there is no way they can find out.

But it's strange and different and feels scary. But nothing bad is going to happen hun..... only good things for you.... So sorry that these feelings have got triggered.....

Be sure to follow the doctors advice and you will heal up.... Your body deserves to feel safe and I know the help you've reached out for will gradually help you more and more to feel safer and calmer. You will probaby get a bit more results from your medicine as more time goes by too......

You talk about the feelings more if you want to.......

xox

 

[Lonewolf]

Oh! It hurts! I had a conversation with the boss of my new support worker tonight and now i'm hurting! I was so scared because of him being in a position of power and because of him being a man!! I had a feeling of dread in my stomach because of what we were discussing! Now im alone, its bugging me a lot! Feel like a kid again! I am so frightend of repocussions from all of this, I know they promise me total confidentiality, but so did social services all those years ago! I know I was very young back then, but ive never forgotten about it and never really got to grips with it! I feel so vulnerable right now! Have I bitten off more than I can cope with? Is it a good idea to keep going with it? Is it 'normal' to be so frightened? maybe its too late to try and sort it all out? Maybe I should bury it again? Im so sorry, I know this all sounds a bit daft, its all spinning round inside my head and I feel like im driving myself mad! Anyone out there that can help it slow down a bit? Sorry to ask! mg:

 

[Budoaiki]

Thereeper,

Doesn't sound daft to me at all. In my opinion you should keep at it and I don't think it's ever too late. I think it's perfectly normal to be afraid but it's also important to take care of yourself which is what your doing this for.

Remembering past trauma is hard but you are a different person now stronger and smarter. The fear may cause you focus on the pain and make you feel weak but what you're doing now took and shows strength which will help you get through this.

 

[MHealthJo]

Yes hun I believe you are stronger than you think...

It's strange but we can be awfully scared and upset,but strong at the same time. We can reach out in those difficult times just like you are, and somehow or other we can get through until the worst of the storm passes.... We can remember that it is always okay to have feelings.... but we can keep telling ourselves, feelings aren't facts, feelings aren't facts....

I think the services and help available now would be better than in the past.... and it is usually that bit easier for an adult to get things across and to look out for their interests... although we may feel very young again and vulnerable in the situation! But remember too that back then, the services were responsible for making sure you were not in harms way as you were not an adult then... so in trying to do that, something must have gone wrong in the way it happened... But now, you are none of your family's business as far as the authorities are concerned... things will not get muddied up by the concern that you are a minor who is in harm's way.

You will be okay sweet... hang on...

Ask your support worker, or perhaps even do some research of the organisation and how things work, if confidentiality is concerning you..... In fact, If I am figuring right and you're in the same country as me, the Privacy Act has been making everyones life hell here for a while.... Taken very seriously across all sorts of organisations and workplaces. I can't even get on the phone to sort out bills and account hassles and things for my doddering parents!

You have nothing to lose, anyway....

I believe it will be worth it and again so proud of you.....

Keep chatting if it is hard to calm down..... or anytime you want.......

xox

 

[Lonewolf]

Im sorry to keep bothering you guys with this, but I am still in a panic about this! I need to know what a therapist does with the stuff you discuss with them? Does it disappear into the air? Do they write it down and then destroy it? Do they file it? Do they pass it on to someone else?

I know it is probably better to ask them, but I feel more comfortable asking someone that I sort of trust a little!! Is that O.K?
Again, I apologise for bugging you all! I need to get it straight in my head! mg:

 

[David Baxter PhD]

In Canada (Ontario), psychologists are required to maintain all clinical notes on file for clients for a period of 10 years following the client's last contact. If the client is under the age of 18, they are required to keep records until 10 years from the date at which the individual would have become 18. At the end of that time, records may be securely destroyed (e.g., shredding).

Other types of therapists in Ontario and psychologists in other provinces have similar requirements, although the length of time varies (e.g., I believe in some jurisdictions, the length of time is 7 years).

The clinical records can NOT be passed on to anyone else without your consent, which usually means a signed authorization.

Nothing in the clinical record may be disclosed to a third party except where:

1. there is evidence of recent or ongoing child abuse, or a significant risk of child abuse, it which case that risk must be reported to child protection authorities;
2. the client discloses a significant risk of imminent harm to self or others, in which case the practitioner must take all necessary steps to prevent that happening including notifying the police and/or a third party at risk for such harm; or
3. the court grants a subpoena for the clinical records, in which case the clinician had a legal requirement to comply with the subpoena or risk the consequences of being found in contempt of court.

One additional limitation of confidentiality may apply where clients are under the age of 18 or 16 depending on the jurisdiction: The parents or legal guardians of the underage client may have a legal right to access the information contained in the clinical record.

Generally, I think you'll find that most jurisdictions have similar regulations. However, if in doubt, ask your therapist or ask the licensing board for your therapist (i.e., College of Psychologists, College of Social Workers, etc.).

 

[MHealthJo]

I think you'll find it is very similar in other places too Reeper. Things cannot ever be said or released to anyone else - only other government departments or authorities or something if there is an important safety reason, law enforcement/justice reason, etc (and only the minimum information necessary to serve those purposes). (And that won't apply to you as an adult, with the things from the past - you are not a minor in danger. Now it is in your hands, if you ever wanted to prosecute for things that happened. But that would never be done unless you wanted to.)

Depending on how the area of heath system works, I think it is possible that correspondence about how you are doing would go to your GP, but you can ask your therapist to tell you when this is happening/ask you if this is okay, and they will even be happy to talk the letter out loud or show you it first, to make sure you are ok with what's in it. Also, a letter like that would normally not contain sort of like 'details' about the experiences or whatever that you talk about. More just like, generally how you are going, whether you are feeling okay with your medications, maybe techniques and approaches that the therapist is using to help you, stuff like that.

In terms of the actual practicality of things like notes and correspondence, you will find that all therapists or doctors keep these notes stored securely on the premises where they work, locked up after hours, etc. The notes probably also might not have super-detailed details about what you say - at least, maybe not as detailed as you'd imagine. It will be the main things that your therapist needs to remember about your situation, feelings,difficulties, progress, to jog their own memory - and a lot of it will be sort of 'translated' into clinical jargon as well. And probably written in terrible handwriting that only they can read.

 

[making_art]

And probably written in terrible handwriting that only they can read.

:rofl:

 

[MHealthJo]