I have problems communicating with people

[IVO]

Hello. I hope this is the right forum to post the topic.

I am 21 years old and I recently realized something that I always knew about myself - that I have difficulties communicating with people.

Mostly, these difficulties appear when I have to talk to someone special to me or someone very close to me, especially when it comes to something serious. I do not know how to show my feeling toward someone, how to make them understand me (I myself sometimes cannot understand me). I have a very strange nature and I tend to repress my thoughts, even when I have to say them. And when I decide to confide in someone, it would be the most inappropriate person - they would betray me in some way after some time and this will make things even worse.

I want to be happy with my friends and not to occupy them with my problems, or when I need to do so, to know that they are really there and will not betray me. I want to be a good company for everyone, to be able to talk to unknown people and to know how to tell what is on my mind in a proper way.

Can someone please advice me what can I do, how can I change myself or my thinking, so that I can make people believe me, know me and not let them manipulate me? I know I can do it, in some parts of my life I have done it, but it is hard and I have passed through so much that I am confused at the moment. Thank you a lot!

 

[Daniel E.]

And when I decide to confide in someone, it would be the most inappropriate person - they would betray me in some way after some time and this will make things even worse.

Sometimes, that is a problem people have when they are not getting the support they need. And sometimes only a therapist or mental health counselor can provide the necessary support.

Mostly, these difficulties appear when I have to talk to someone special to me or someone very close to me, especially when it comes to something serious. I do not know how to show my feeling toward someone, how to make them understand me (I myself sometimes cannot understand me). I have a very strange nature and I tend to repress my thoughts, even when I have to say them.

BTW, most men have problems opening up to other male friends as they get older, e.g. it's often more socially acceptable among men to be angry than to show vulnerability.

 

[Andy]

Hi IVO,

Daniels suggestion of maybe finding a professional to speak with is great. This would be a person you could trust to listen without any judgments. You could also practice your communication skills.

IMO, I think a lot of people can get uncomfortable talking about personal things, even if it is with someone close. The key is to find someone you know who will be receptive and take the chance and start with something personal that is small, don't blurt out your biggest secret. The more you do this, the easier it will become. Sometimes all you can do is take the chance when it comes to speaking with people about things and hope it turns out alright. You can't make people believe you or be trustworthy. It would be nice but it's not possible. You have to go with your instincts about people and learn to trust yourself with those instincts.

Welcome to psychlinks btw:goodjob:

 

[IVO]

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Sometimes, that is a problem people have when they are not getting the support they need. And sometimes only a therapist or mental health counselor can provide the necessary support.



BTW, most men have problems opening up to other male friends as they get older, e.g. it's often more socially acceptable among men to be angry than to show vulnerability.

Thank you for the link to the other topic/thread, Daniel. It was good for me to read it.

Hi IVO,

Daniels suggestion of maybe finding a professional to speak with is great. This would be a person you could trust to listen without any judgments. You could also practice your communication skills.

IMO, I think a lot of people can get uncomfortable talking about personal things, even if it is with someone close. The key is to find someone you know who will be receptive and take the chance and start with something personal that is small, don't blurt out your biggest secret. The more you do this, the easier it will become. Sometimes all you can do is take the chance when it comes to speaking with people about things and hope it turns out alright. You can't make people believe you or be trustworthy. It would be nice but it's not possible. You have to go with your instincts about people and learn to trust yourself with those instincts.

Welcome to psychlinks btw:goodjob:

Recently, I really feel that I need someone neutral to talk to, some terapist that can listen to my stories and direct me in some way... I do not think I can talk to someone unknown if they are not specialist, because later, in some point in my life they may became part of my life and they would already know something very important for me; and if it is a real terapist, it is different then...
I even was going to ask a relative of mine whom I can contact for such sessions.