I Wonder About Me.

[Curious]

I have two personalities one good one bad. When I am around people I am the nicest person you would even meet, then at home I am moody. I will be alone next week because my wife's daughter and two grandchildren live in Georgia. I will miss her and try to catch up on all my science fiction shows. How can one person live like that, one minute happy the next miserable? Where do these emotional problems come from, where? Is there any reason for them...any? Our house was robbed while both of us were in the hospital, my wife for her heart attack and me for my emotions. We lost the house and living in a Ladies house which we rent.

We owe about three hundred thousand dollars to doctors and hospitals because they took us in when we needed it. Why us? Then her cancer comes to mind. I see the dark side of this situation, and I am human and can only take so much of the dark side mg:. How much more, I ask myself. I feel like a Jewish prisoner in a concentration camp in Germany in world war 2? Knowing why I am there and have no hope of getting out, none only thing left is death. I will wait until mother (my wife's nickname) test results come back. I think next week. At this point I would give my soul to Satan if I could crucify my emotions and just have memories which I could turn off. High Strung

 

[PrincessX]

Hello high strung, so you are saying that in the past you were hospitalized for your emotions?
If so, did you see a mental health professional back then? Do you plan to follow up with any medical advice you received in the past? Just trying to hint possible solutions for you .

 

[Curious]

Yes, but I sensed their way, which was (deal with it), which wasn't the way I wanted it done. I felt I had done nothing wrong, but wanted them to understand that. My question was always "if you never had this happen to you how could you understand my feelings"? I hate my emotions and wish I could crucify them and only have a memory of them which I could turn off at will . Why I have these emotions I do not know and are they absolutely necessary? It's like my emotions are in charge of me and not vice versa. High Stung

 

[PrincessX]

What emotions do you have that bother you? I mean, can you name them? Is it sadness, fear, anger, what are they?
What was "their way" of dealing with your emotions?

 

[Curious]

Accept them without question and all of them was negative. The question I have is (why)? I now question them and say (no)! Where is it written i have to accept them at all? All my life I have been bothered by them and never accepted to just say no. Use to be High Strung and ADHD