Identical twins

[Ashley-Kate]

hello,
i don't know if i mentioned in previous posts but i have an identical twined sister and although she is not anorexic nor is she bulimic she is the opposite of me for that mater she loves food and has no problem with her body image. I was just thinking actually since i have been a very young child i have been self conscious about my weight and my size! i always looked up to my sister even though okay it is not really a big difference but i am the oldest ! by a minutes.. but anyway back to the point i always tried to protect her to make everything safe for her and on top of that to be better than her she has always had my dad wrapped around her finger him obeying her any command and i was the one that had to be the high achiever the smart one cause she had a hard time with school! although that just turned out to be stress my A+ was never enough but her c- was just perfect! i loved her really but i think that between twins there will always be a competitive spirit in some ways and if not dealt with properly can become chaotic . after many obstacle in life my preoccupation of food grew larger and my need to be the small twin grew with it! i felt disgusted with my body and on top of that my sister still had her "purity " her innocence and not me so i had to be thinner.. and so it goes on .. is this "normal" as in am i the only twin that experiences this

 

[sunset]

Hi Ashley Kate.. I also have an identical twin sister, and she truly is my best friend on this planet. I would do anything for her and her happiness means more to me than anything..
I think there is some competiveness, but I found it was usually put on us by other people. Teachers saying, why cant you be like your sister, to others who just say to me, how come your life isnt like your sisters? Well, to that I reply, because we are two different people.
Dont listen to what others may say, and dont compare yourself to your sister. I know how it is, that all others around you compare, but know that you are you, and not your sister. Sometimes its a battle, and sometimes I can laugh about it.
Even though we are "identical", one person who could tell us apart, was arguing with me that were werent twins. How maddening is that? lol

Anyway, I guess what I am saying is, I understand what you are saying, and yes, I am sure it happens with lots of twins. Point is, dont do that to yourself. It dont really matter who gets the better grades, it matters if you tryed your hardest..
I hope this helps you some... If you want to talk more with me, feel free.

 

[ladylore]

I don't think that it really matters that you are only the oldest by 1 minute. You are the oldest. I am the youngest of my family, but looking back at my oldest sister - she is very responsible and had carried the wieght of the family on her shoulders.

I am now wondering if there are certain dynamics that go with being the oldest, middle, youngest of the family - certain roles.

Just a thought Ahsley-Kate but I am wondering if the eating disorder has something to do with the responsibility of the big sister role and the protectiveness that you feel for your younger sister.

Just a thought.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

the thing is i never saw anorexia asa disorder and have not came to that realisation yet i know that it is bad but i have alwasy seen it as a way to she that i was responsible i could be in controle of my weight my health everything and that proved to everyone else that i was the good girl the good wwined the one that was responsible i am the one that took care of my sister when she was hurt or sad i am the one that took care of my dad when he was sick my mom when she was depressed so i believe i have latched on to this disorder as a responsibility if i don't have it then i am a child innocent no self control!
yours trully ashley

 

[sunset]

Ashley, you think you have anorexia because you have a twin who doesnt?

 

[ladylore]

It all makes great sense Ashley-Kate. You are extremely insightful with what is going on with you and around you and that in and of itself is a huge step. You have had to deal with alot and having compassion for where you have been and how far you have come may help. I feel alot of compassion towards you Ashely.

Keep up the great work. :hug:

 

[Ashley-Kate]

no i don't think because i have a twin sister i am anorexic i believe that having not been raised equally in the sense that as 2 different individuals like normal kids are raised it didn't help in that sense! if i would have felt like a person of my own i would not have tried to intensely to differentiate myself from my twin! i love her to death don't get me wrong but i hated being looked down on because i was nothing like her!

 

[sunset]

I get you now...