I have suffered from a myriad of social dysfunction and depression since my youth. Getting older I realize my mother pre-programmed me to be self-destructive and diminutive to others with her mental & emotional abuse which she continues to attempt to this day. In the past I suffered PTSD, encephalitis, SAD, psychotic episodes and most recently long-term CO poisoning. This winter has been the toughest as I lost my job, friends and almost my life from CO followed by quite severe winter depression.
I'm tired, very very down. I've been requesting psychiatric assistance for many months but due to provincial cut-backs can only speak to a psychiatrist once every month and a bit. I've been saying to my doctor for the past few years that, "something's not quite right." The anti-depressants just make it worse, I sometimes don't eat for days or shower and my apartment is a mess. Physically I'm dealing with the long-term after-affects of CO and a painful back. To make matters worse, my previous boss digs for info on me for fodder in his gossip mill with customers & staff. So much for a career in that field. The pain of this depression is just too much and losing interest in everything makes me feel so empty.
Nobody seems to want me around, not even my doc's office. What bothers me is that people in the neighbourhood say things like, "he/she's got mental health issues" which empowers the person saying it and adds stigma to the person they're talking about. I live in isolation in the middle of the city and I seem to attract bullies. I don't understand why people go out of their way to be mean. Anyways, I could ramble more but I think that's enough about me.
I'm tired, very very down. I've been requesting psychiatric assistance for many months but due to provincial cut-backs can only speak to a psychiatrist once every month and a bit. I've been saying to my doctor for the past few years that, "something's not quite right." The anti-depressants just make it worse, I sometimes don't eat for days or shower and my apartment is a mess. Physically I'm dealing with the long-term after-affects of CO and a painful back. To make matters worse, my previous boss digs for info on me for fodder in his gossip mill with customers & staff. So much for a career in that field. The pain of this depression is just too much and losing interest in everything makes me feel so empty.
Nobody seems to want me around, not even my doc's office. What bothers me is that people in the neighbourhood say things like, "he/she's got mental health issues" which empowers the person saying it and adds stigma to the person they're talking about. I live in isolation in the middle of the city and I seem to attract bullies. I don't understand why people go out of their way to be mean. Anyways, I could ramble more but I think that's enough about me.
