Hello all - Its been awhile - My second marriage is failing. We've been separated since May. I am attending Anger Management counseling for myself(not court ordered) and also seeing a psychologist.
I feel we both have issues - we both feel we are right in what we feel and cannot really get beyond feeling those issues. There is an inability to compromise. If we do give in, I feel we are just giving up that we lose our identity. because we aren't being true to who we are. There would be that lack of acceptance of whom we truly are.
I don't know which forums to use because I feel most everything is so complicated at this time. [Thank you for having this website. I feel I am learning things by scanning and reading all the posts.] The divorce should be coming to an end soon, and I am not happy that it is. I loved this woman with all my heart to the point of having just a bit of reservation of waiting to give its all until after 7 years or so of marriage... each of her other relationships lasted 6 or less. It only lasted 4 for us, if not 3?. Maybe this relationship was not to be because of that fear... If I were to feel comfortable with it - I would not have experienced or felt having any sort of reservation. But I feel I wanted it so bad to work.
We have had disagreements on friendships - how much time to spend with friends (me, Im a homebody and she is an extrovert and says she needs to get out of the house...) - how to handle her teenage children - (I do not have any of my own) - how to handle monies - differences in what we believe in faith (even though we are both Catholic).
The physical aspect of our relationship I loved so much, never had I felt so close to an individual... even in our biggest trials I still felt so much love for her... I still do somewhat. But, another man has spent the night at the house, and thus I have kinda lost that feeling. Even in my separation, I have not done that. I have gone out 2x with friends only; and have not been with anyone for intimacy... I want it bad; but I don't know where to find it - and I don't want the wrong kind. (if you know what I mean) I want it in a loving and caring and mutual relationship like I had with her. I want to be accepted for whom I am and to be respected for whom and what I am as well.
She also feels she cannot trust me... (lying by omission and by fear of recourse have been problems of mine) [though, I feel they are all small ones, nothing in comparison to her wanting to be out with her friends all the time] she feels trapped at home. I am working on me. I would go out with her; but I always felt like a 5th wheel - so I admit we both have issues. How does one work on self if you arenot in a relationship to have the checks and balances done?
I feel so lost without her. I miss our converstions no matter how good or bad they were. I miss our physical relationship. - I miss her cooking - I miss the way she looks - I miss the companionship we shared. I miss her.
If you say I married the wrong person... it makes it that much easier to go on... but I still need to go through my 2nd anullment and who is to say that I will get it. My Catholicism is very important to me too.
God bless us all and all of you for listening to me - Thank you for letting me share.
I feel we both have issues - we both feel we are right in what we feel and cannot really get beyond feeling those issues. There is an inability to compromise. If we do give in, I feel we are just giving up that we lose our identity. because we aren't being true to who we are. There would be that lack of acceptance of whom we truly are.
I don't know which forums to use because I feel most everything is so complicated at this time. [Thank you for having this website. I feel I am learning things by scanning and reading all the posts.] The divorce should be coming to an end soon, and I am not happy that it is. I loved this woman with all my heart to the point of having just a bit of reservation of waiting to give its all until after 7 years or so of marriage... each of her other relationships lasted 6 or less. It only lasted 4 for us, if not 3?. Maybe this relationship was not to be because of that fear... If I were to feel comfortable with it - I would not have experienced or felt having any sort of reservation. But I feel I wanted it so bad to work.
We have had disagreements on friendships - how much time to spend with friends (me, Im a homebody and she is an extrovert and says she needs to get out of the house...) - how to handle her teenage children - (I do not have any of my own) - how to handle monies - differences in what we believe in faith (even though we are both Catholic).
The physical aspect of our relationship I loved so much, never had I felt so close to an individual... even in our biggest trials I still felt so much love for her... I still do somewhat. But, another man has spent the night at the house, and thus I have kinda lost that feeling. Even in my separation, I have not done that. I have gone out 2x with friends only; and have not been with anyone for intimacy... I want it bad; but I don't know where to find it - and I don't want the wrong kind. (if you know what I mean) I want it in a loving and caring and mutual relationship like I had with her. I want to be accepted for whom I am and to be respected for whom and what I am as well.
She also feels she cannot trust me... (lying by omission and by fear of recourse have been problems of mine) [though, I feel they are all small ones, nothing in comparison to her wanting to be out with her friends all the time] she feels trapped at home. I am working on me. I would go out with her; but I always felt like a 5th wheel - so I admit we both have issues. How does one work on self if you arenot in a relationship to have the checks and balances done?
I feel so lost without her. I miss our converstions no matter how good or bad they were. I miss our physical relationship. - I miss her cooking - I miss the way she looks - I miss the companionship we shared. I miss her.
If you say I married the wrong person... it makes it that much easier to go on... but I still need to go through my 2nd anullment and who is to say that I will get it. My Catholicism is very important to me too.
God bless us all and all of you for listening to me - Thank you for letting me share.
