insideiamdying
Member
Hi...
I have not been on this site for a long time... When last here I was truly a mess... I had been cutting myself on a regular basis... I had attempted suicide on a number of occasions... In and out of mental health facilities... trying to cope by dressing like a girl... anything rather then being me... for the most part I gave up on myself... but there was a small light still flickering for more...
I starting to listen to my doctor... taking medication like prescribed... seeing my counselor on a regular basis... and taking small steps... My son Jason became involved in my life... and finally I found the lost love of a son who had every right never to talk to me again... and although dressing as a girl he loved me... he invited me to church... I told them he should ask the church if they would allow a person like me into the building... once before I was invited to church and I was told I had to dress like a man to come... so that wasn't happening... but the church my son was going to said I could come... the only limitation was to use a single persons bathroom... I thought that was a okay thing to do... even though at that time I was always using the ladies room... I believe some of this crazyness we are going through would be solved if all bathrooms were simply made for the use of one person at a time no matter what the sex is... but what do I know...
anyhow... everything in my life took a turn for the better... all but 2 of my 7 children started talking to me... my life in the church taught me there were better ways of doing thing... I stopped cutting... I slowly stopped have suicidal thoughts... I returned to dressing like a guy... but this struggle was the hardest to get past... i would go back and forth... back and forth... throwing away my girl clothes for guy clothes and then getting rid of the guy clothes for the girls clothes... the church put up with this... but finally had enough... which was enough for me to finally making an all in or all out decision... I surrendered my life to Jesus... and why some may say this is nothing... it was good for me... I had in my past (when I was 16 1/2) spent 3 1/2 years with the Unification Church of Rev. Sun Myung Moon... after I left I found myself doing anti-cult work as a Christian... so for a long time I realized I needed to get back to Jesus...
amyways... I finally find myself at 60 years of age to be content with myself and my love for Jesus...
Jeff Brodsky...
aka Tariki Om...
aka Prema Nishanto...
I have not been on this site for a long time... When last here I was truly a mess... I had been cutting myself on a regular basis... I had attempted suicide on a number of occasions... In and out of mental health facilities... trying to cope by dressing like a girl... anything rather then being me... for the most part I gave up on myself... but there was a small light still flickering for more...
I starting to listen to my doctor... taking medication like prescribed... seeing my counselor on a regular basis... and taking small steps... My son Jason became involved in my life... and finally I found the lost love of a son who had every right never to talk to me again... and although dressing as a girl he loved me... he invited me to church... I told them he should ask the church if they would allow a person like me into the building... once before I was invited to church and I was told I had to dress like a man to come... so that wasn't happening... but the church my son was going to said I could come... the only limitation was to use a single persons bathroom... I thought that was a okay thing to do... even though at that time I was always using the ladies room... I believe some of this crazyness we are going through would be solved if all bathrooms were simply made for the use of one person at a time no matter what the sex is... but what do I know...
anyhow... everything in my life took a turn for the better... all but 2 of my 7 children started talking to me... my life in the church taught me there were better ways of doing thing... I stopped cutting... I slowly stopped have suicidal thoughts... I returned to dressing like a guy... but this struggle was the hardest to get past... i would go back and forth... back and forth... throwing away my girl clothes for guy clothes and then getting rid of the guy clothes for the girls clothes... the church put up with this... but finally had enough... which was enough for me to finally making an all in or all out decision... I surrendered my life to Jesus... and why some may say this is nothing... it was good for me... I had in my past (when I was 16 1/2) spent 3 1/2 years with the Unification Church of Rev. Sun Myung Moon... after I left I found myself doing anti-cult work as a Christian... so for a long time I realized I needed to get back to Jesus...
amyways... I finally find myself at 60 years of age to be content with myself and my love for Jesus...
Jeff Brodsky...
aka Tariki Om...
aka Prema Nishanto...
