Living with it

[Ashley-Kate]

well as all of you know i am anorexic / bulimic i have been this way for about 7 years now and well lets just say as it has been so long i have done the research i know the stats and must i admit i am scared cause i really don't think I am ever going to get out of this hole thing.. i was wondering as always is there a way to live with this disorder to not change completely but to preserve it to a certain point that it doesn't end up eventually killing me like even if i don't lose any weight but i still feel clean and pure is that possible.. yours truly ashley

 

[KiM]

dear ashley .... it sounds like you are going through so so much for a fragile person your age ! i have been battling anorexia and then bulemia/anorexia for 4 years now, and i am also wondering if it will ever pass totally, whether i will ever be the person i was before and totally not obses... however, i feel like we will have to deal with this demon in the long run and try to handle it the best way we can and live our lives surrounded by people that support, listen and are there for us .. every day is a struggle and a triomph/downfall.. all we can do is try to stay positive and work at it, some days i do so well, then for no reason at all, i fall back into my bad cycle ... even tho its healthy foods i binge on, i cant stand the bloatedness that is associated with this! on top of that, i enjoy a glass of wine, or a cocktail, which ofcourse doesnt help. i tend to be stronger when i am around people i love and that i know care about me, i tend to not let my self go ... when im alone, i do crazy things sometimes, that i truly promuise myself i will changa change change. and then for a week or so im good, before down falling again ... its been better recently after moving back to my home town, however, i htink i will live in this bubble, this kind of denial to others, forever .. and somehow, i take it and hope one day, when i find my life, my own family, ill deal with it in anopther way and put it all behind me......
i think of you darling, and hope you are strong enough and doing well !! we all need eachother, for relief and support. and know that we are here !
kiss