I cling to you
Member
Hi
My name is Jenna, I am 21, and I have Dependent Personality Disorder (am I in the right place??), Bipolar Disorder, OCD, and a painful physical condition called Fibromyalgia.
I feel alone, I know others have DPD or know people who do, but then why is it that I still feel like I am the only one?
I want to explain it the best I can for you to understand how I live/feel:
I had a lot of problems in my teenage years with relationships, if I had a boyfriend and we would break up or drift apart, I'd immediately go to someone else to fill that void. I needed, and still need, a sense of "belonging" to someone and being cared for.
Now I am very clingy to people (especially to my husband), cannot perform well at jobs because of lack of confidence in starting/completing tasks on my own, don't allow myself to make even the littlest decisions (ask for peoples' input), and feel very empty and anxious whenever I am left alone.
Due to losing a lot of people in my the past, I am in constant fear of losing the people in my life now. Which is no way for anyone to live, but believe me, I have TRIED to grow past it..
I am still very very dependent on my parents even though I haven't lived with them for a while, and constantly need reassurance that they ARE there for me, and always will be.
And now since I have developed my Fibromyalgia, I am in constant pain and feel the only way to be able to deal with it is to be comforted and held. And if someone doesn't do that for me I get very depressed. I expect my husband to "cling" to me like I cling to him... but that isn't his nature.
I am scared of having to take care of myself and do things for myself... I'd rather have others do them for me, and others may view it as being "lazy" or "irresponsible" or "childish", but what it is is me being in constant fear and needing reassurance... getting reassurance from others is what I live for.
But I don't want to live like that anymore.:hissyfit: I want to be a strong, independent 21 year old.
:funny: That was a lot to type but I thank everyone who read this, and I am so happy to meet you!
My name is Jenna, I am 21, and I have Dependent Personality Disorder (am I in the right place??), Bipolar Disorder, OCD, and a painful physical condition called Fibromyalgia. I feel alone, I know others have DPD or know people who do, but then why is it that I still feel like I am the only one?
I want to explain it the best I can for you to understand how I live/feel:
I had a lot of problems in my teenage years with relationships, if I had a boyfriend and we would break up or drift apart, I'd immediately go to someone else to fill that void. I needed, and still need, a sense of "belonging" to someone and being cared for.
Now I am very clingy to people (especially to my husband), cannot perform well at jobs because of lack of confidence in starting/completing tasks on my own, don't allow myself to make even the littlest decisions (ask for peoples' input), and feel very empty and anxious whenever I am left alone.
Due to losing a lot of people in my the past, I am in constant fear of losing the people in my life now.
Which is no way for anyone to live, but believe me, I have TRIED to grow past it..I am still very very dependent on my parents even though I haven't lived with them for a while, and constantly need reassurance that they ARE there for me, and always will be.
And now since I have developed my Fibromyalgia, I am in constant pain and feel the only way to be able to deal with it is to be comforted and held. And if someone doesn't do that for me I get very depressed. I expect my husband to "cling" to me like I cling to him... but that isn't his nature.
I am scared of having to take care of myself and do things for myself... I'd rather have others do them for me, and others may view it as being "lazy" or "irresponsible" or "childish", but what it is is me being in constant fear and needing reassurance... getting reassurance from others is what I live for.
But I don't want to live like that anymore.:hissyfit: I want to be a strong, independent 21 year old.
:funny: That was a lot to type but I thank everyone who read this, and I am so happy to meet you!
