noob

[Almosthealed]

Hi, new to this. I saw a therapist after diagnosed with ptsd and chronic/clinical (not sure long time ago) depression(age 16). I started taking citalopram 3 years ago after my husband gave up on trying to help me stay on track (age26). I haven't seen a therapist since I was a 19. Life was going very well on the meds. I finally saw light at the end of the tunnel. But recently they either haven't been working or the stress has been affecting me more. My dose was increased and buspar added, but its not working too well.

Last week I forgot to take them for a day, life happened, and I became too depressed to want to take them and went deep for about 5 days. Thing is I had some symptoms/tendencies that I never had before so my question is.. can not taking a med lower me even more than I would be if I never took them?

I am hoping that I can learn more about depression through this forum. I have always had it. I can remember sitting in Kindergarten looking at all the other kids and thinking wow he's smarter than me, and she's prettier, and I am nothing. I have heard a lot of people say that kids that young haven't matured enough to know how to feel that way. Unfortunately, my oldest daughter is the picture of my mind at that age- always telling me that kids will laugh at her and that she is not special. She even hides her smile and when I ask why she says cause she feels dumb for feeling happy. I am not trying to put anything on her, but I won't let her live like I did. I want her to be free. So here I am trying something new.

I hope I didn't say too much.

 

[NicNak]

:hithere: Almosthealed

I am sorry you are struggling right now. I do not know the answer to your medication question but I wanted to take the time to say: :welcome: to Psychlinks. I am sure others may have some insight for you regarding the possable side effects of the medication.

 

[Andy]

Welcome Almosthealed :beer2:

I don't have any definite answers for you but I can tell you my experience with meds. First I have to say that everyone is different so what may be for me, may be completely opposite for you.

Also it may depend on your circumstances at the time, your general mood when you stopped the medication, things that might have occurred while your off the meds etc. Or none of the above. When you were 19 you had totally different stressors in your life then you do now, maybe that has a little to do with it.

I could go off my meds one time and fall in to a severe depression. The next a minor depression, the next none at all...for a bit.

I really don't know or I cannot think of any other circumstances, I can't think clearly.

I hope that makes sense and someone feel free to correct me if this is completely wrong...

BTW: You didn't say to much at all:friends:

 

[David Baxter PhD]

recently they either haven't been working or the stress has been affecting me more. My dose was increased and buspar added, but its not working too well.

Last week I forgot to take them for a day, life happened, and I became too depressed to want to take them and went deep for about 5 days. Thing is I had some symptoms/tendencies that I never had before so my question is.. can not taking a med lower me even more than I would be if I never took them?

No, it's not that taking them and then stopping is creating more depression, i.e., it's not the medication per se that's causing this. It's more the contrast between how you feel on medication vs. off medication. When you've been taking medication regularly for a while, you tend to forget how bad you used to feel; if you stop taking them suddenly, you get a very strong reminder of what life off medication is like.

But you also mention (a) that you haven't been seeing a therapist and (b) that the medications have been less effective recently. You indicate that you were taking citalopram (Celexa) for depression and that when it started losing its effectiveness your doctor added Buspar. However, Buspar is an anxiolytic (i.e., it's used to treat anxiety) so it's not likely to help a whole lot with depression.

Drugs like Celexa can lose their effectiveness for some people after a few years. Usually, switching to another SSRI can remedy that problem. But I also wonder what's changed in your life in that three year period and why the doctor prescribed Buspar. Additionally, it may be time to think about getting back into therapy: You can't expect medication to do all the work.

 

[Jazzey]

Weclome to PL, AH.

 

[forgetmenot]

Welcome glad you here.

 

[Almosthealed]

Well my stressors have definately increased with going to night school, working a dead-end job and having everything monetarily go wrong. They added the buspar cause I was shaking my leg habitually. My mind was constantly going. I would only eat half my dinner cause I kept thinking about the million other things I could be doing instead of sitting there. I have started taking diphenhydramine every night or else I lay there and worry and not sleep.

I read all the posts and realized that I just need to breathe. I made an appointment with my clinic to talk about my meds and as soon as I graduate I think I will start seeing a therapist again. I take the test for my pharmacy technician license in Feb. so hopefully I can get medical out a job.

It seems that I only talk about it when it gets bad cause I know the 1st thing a therpaist is going to do is ask me about the ptsd and I really don't feel like talking about that.

Talking to friends abou tit has helped. Most of them are understanding.

Thanks for the kind feelings here.

 

[Banned]

Welcome.