David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
What are a typical redneck's three last words?
"Hey, watch this!"
"Hey, watch this!"
- Thread starter David Baxter PhD
- Start date
The Elevator
Redneck Jokes
A redneck family goes to the mall. They have no idea of the city. The father sees an elevator. He and his family are fascinated, so they watch as an old lady goes up to the elevator,, pushes the button and walks inside. Thirty seconds later, a young beautiful blonde lady comes out. The father says, "I'm going back home and getting Grandma."
&
You Must Be A Redneck If
* You recycle your own toilet paper
* Your mom has to shave more times a month than your dad
* You stare at a carton of orange juice because it says "concentrate."
* The nativity scene you set up in your yard at Christmas includes two pink flamingos and baby Jesus lying in a painted tire.
* Most of your teeth are on a chain around your neck.
* You hunt from your bedroom window.
* Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.
* You refrigerate your food stamps.
* You use a 10 penny nail to pick your teeth after a night of road kill.
* You have ever dressed your child as a "Snot-rag" for Halloween.
* You and your spouse get divorced and you are still relatives.
* You go to your local ice cream store and order Copenhagen "sprinkles" on your cone.
* You know instinctively that red wine goes with opossum.
* You're always looking to find your Mother-in-Law's picture on the back of a milk carton!
* The officer that just pulled you over asks if "you have any I.D."..and you respond "About whut?"
* You take a beer to a job interview.
* You are caught roll'n your trailer down the street to jump start the heater.
* When you finish eatin' your bologna you use the rind for dental floss.
* You go to Goodwill to meet women.
* You and your friends are putting an engine in a pickup, drinking beer, and the conversation is: Which county jail has the best food!
Redneck Jokes
A redneck family goes to the mall. They have no idea of the city. The father sees an elevator. He and his family are fascinated, so they watch as an old lady goes up to the elevator,, pushes the button and walks inside. Thirty seconds later, a young beautiful blonde lady comes out. The father says, "I'm going back home and getting Grandma."
&
You Must Be A Redneck If
* You recycle your own toilet paper
* Your mom has to shave more times a month than your dad
* You stare at a carton of orange juice because it says "concentrate."
* The nativity scene you set up in your yard at Christmas includes two pink flamingos and baby Jesus lying in a painted tire.
* Most of your teeth are on a chain around your neck.
* You hunt from your bedroom window.
* Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.
* You refrigerate your food stamps.
* You use a 10 penny nail to pick your teeth after a night of road kill.
* You have ever dressed your child as a "Snot-rag" for Halloween.
* You and your spouse get divorced and you are still relatives.
* You go to your local ice cream store and order Copenhagen "sprinkles" on your cone.
* You know instinctively that red wine goes with opossum.
* You're always looking to find your Mother-in-Law's picture on the back of a milk carton!
* The officer that just pulled you over asks if "you have any I.D."..and you respond "About whut?"
* You take a beer to a job interview.
* You are caught roll'n your trailer down the street to jump start the heater.
* When you finish eatin' your bologna you use the rind for dental floss.
* You go to Goodwill to meet women.
* You and your friends are putting an engine in a pickup, drinking beer, and the conversation is: Which county jail has the best food!
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