Sayin Hi! Need help

[kinghunter]

Where to start... Im 33 and have been with my bipolar girlfriend, whos 28, for 11 months. Never had any issues, but she also wasnt on her medication for the last 6 or so months. We woke up the other morning and she is completely different, I need some help and to talk to someone as i have no clue what is going on in her head. Im searching for reasons and as many answers to make sense of this all...

 

[Andy]

Welcome to Psychlinks kinghunter!:2thumbs:

Have you asked her what is going on in her head?

 

[kinghunter]

ya.. i believe she was in denial as maybe i was too about her diagnoses... then the other day she said maybe she really is bi-polar. im like crap. what now? shes tearing me apart and doesnt even realize it. If i can get her back on medicine will she be ok and go back to normal? have i ever even seen her normal? so frustrating, hurt and lost

 

[Andy]

Well, not knowing her of course, it might be worth asking her to see a psychiatrist again and possibly get back on her medication. I obviously don't know if you have seen her "normal" or not. Being bipolar doesn't mean that everything is lost. It just means that you will have to learn (and she will) more about her symptoms and be a little understanding and she needs to stay on top of being healthy. Don't take it personally, I know that's easier said then done at times. If she does have bipolar disorder she cannot help having the disorder, she can stay on top of it though and that will make things a lot easier for the both of you.

 

[kinghunter]

Thank you STP. Ima have to try to get her to a doctor, as well as do a great amount of research about this illness. Im trying to find quick and easy answers and there just are not any. This is rough... thanx again

 

[Retired]

have to try to get her to a doctor

she also wasnt on her medication for the last 6 or so months

Why hasn't she been taking her medications for such a long time?

What makes you think she would willingly see her doctor if she hasn't complied with her medications for six months?

Hopefully she understands she might be in crisis and needs to get back on her treatment. If she understands that, then her next step should be to make an appointment with the doctor who had been treating her, and make a commitment to follow her treatment.

Is your relationship with this woman expected to be a long term relationship?

 

[kinghunter]

Honeslty she just kinda stopped taking it. Lithium i believe it was. I think she, as well as I, were in denial about the whole thing... I cant get her to her old doctor as we have moved, Im hoping maybe to be able to get the transcripts or whatnot though. As far as out relationship goes, If this is how she is now i dont see us going much further... I feel like ive been going out with a complete stranger. Is it normal for bi-polar people to completely change, almost overnight?

 

[forgetmenot]

Now is not time to decide this relationship will not work NOW is the time to support your gf and get her back on her meds then you will see stability Go to hospital and talk to oncall psychiatrist there let them know she went off her meds and now needs help to stabilize then you can decide once you see gf stability on meds if seperation is needed or not i think that would be fair but that is your decision

 

[Retired]

Is it normal for bi-polar people to completely change, almost overnight?

Have a look at the Forum's section on Bipolar Disorder for some insights into the illness.

She needs a physician who can interview her and evaluate her symptoms. You don't necessarily need her written medical history from the previous physician to be seen by a new doctor. The new doctor will do all the necessary work ups to make a diagnosis to recommend treatment.

What's important is to get her to be seen by a mental health specialist.

If in your area, that means getting a referral from a GP, then have her make that first step. If she appears to be in crisis, and unable to function, then get her to the Emergency Department of your local hospital or whatever emergency service you have available.

This is not a situation where you should be waiting to see how it goes in a few days, because your girl friend's health needs to be attended to now.

As has been aptly said, now is not the time to abandon her, if you have had an ongoing relationship, but rather to support her and guide her to getting the necessary treatment.

It may have been her illness that made her feel her medications were no longer necessary, but if she lost contact with the original prescribing physician, she would have lost the crucial medical support she might have needed at the time.

There may or may not be a romantic future in your relationship, and that should be determined later, but she is still your friend, and friends support friends, so I would urge you to help her get the medical attention she needs.

 

[kinghunter]

Thank you Steve... its gonna be a uphill battle. So far shes doing ok but after reading some of these stories, yikes i got my hands full. I got her a appointment now i just gotta tell her! nothings ever easy

 

[Retired]

Kinghunter,

Mental illness can be a challenge for those who love the person afflicted.

If she resists your efforts to get her to see the doctor, you may have to reassure her that she will not be judged by you or even the doctor. Sometime the stigmas associated with mental illness make afflicted people feel embarrassed or ashamed to seek help


Reassure her that mental illness is an illness just like any physical illness. If she had appendicitis, diabetes or a heart attack, there would be no hesitation to see the doctor. So it should be with mood disorders, that are thought to be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, much like diabetes is a chemical imbalance in the pancreas. And like diabetes, by restoring the imbalance with medications for the purpose, the correct treatment can attempt to restore the right chemical balance of neurotransmitter chemicals in the brain.

Sounds like you are very compassionate and caring.

Keep us posted on your progress.

 

[making_art]

Welcome, kinghunter!

I have family and friends who live with bipolar. Most people with bipolar are well (normal) when they are stable. Medication works to keep them well. It's not easy trying to learn about this illness all in a short time. Just remember that it is the illness talking and acting strange....not your girlfriend.

One place to get really good face to face or phone support is through this organization: NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness | Family-to-Family

If you are in Canada or the USA you can contact them for a phone number of a support person so you can ask questions and get help with sorting this out.

Good luck and keep us posted!