I sometimes have self esteem issues. At times I am full of myself (I feel like I can do anything), and other times I think I'm worthless. Two weeks ago, I was in the worthless category. I didn't want to tell my wife because of how she has reacted in the past, but she knew something was wrong so eventually I told her that I wasn't feeling good about myself. Since then, there has been a downward spiral and things have gone from bad to worse, to horrible.
I feel as though my wife is cruel and insensitive to me and often talks to me as if I'm a child. It could be all in my head, but I feel that this is exacerbated greatly when I am not feeling good about myself, hence the worsening of the situation. I have tried to explain this to her, but she doesn't believe me. I feel that all I need is a bit of love and understanding, but instead I get condescension and annoyance. This causes me to feel even more insecure about myself (hence the spiral) and also causes me to resent her.
I have had passive aggressive issues in the past, but mostly I feel that I have overcome them. Nevertheless, I have found myself acting passive aggressive with her during this latest episode, and find myself feeling bad for myself. I feel like I'm making a victim out of myself. I assume this is unhealthy and not the right thing to feel. But it is tough, as I feel abused and trampled on.
She is continuously challenging me (don't wear those clothes, don't eat that - eat this, don't do that, sleep in, don't sleep in, go exercise, take these vitamins...). She can't help herself but point out everything she sees that's wrong about what I'm doing or not doing. She makes it so difficult for me to get past my own anxieties and insecurities. If I know that I am particularly weak one day, is it really too much for me to ask her to take it easy on me? It seems that it is and that it leads to the exact opposite of what I would hope for.
When I'm on top of the world, these problems (mostly) go away, so I guess the solution is for me to heal myself without her help. I keep telling myself that she can't help me feel good about myself, and that only I can do that... But it hurts because I feel that all I really need is someone to love and understand me first, before criticizing. I'm so lost right now.
I feel as though my wife is cruel and insensitive to me and often talks to me as if I'm a child. It could be all in my head, but I feel that this is exacerbated greatly when I am not feeling good about myself, hence the worsening of the situation. I have tried to explain this to her, but she doesn't believe me. I feel that all I need is a bit of love and understanding, but instead I get condescension and annoyance. This causes me to feel even more insecure about myself (hence the spiral) and also causes me to resent her.
I have had passive aggressive issues in the past, but mostly I feel that I have overcome them. Nevertheless, I have found myself acting passive aggressive with her during this latest episode, and find myself feeling bad for myself. I feel like I'm making a victim out of myself. I assume this is unhealthy and not the right thing to feel. But it is tough, as I feel abused and trampled on.
She is continuously challenging me (don't wear those clothes, don't eat that - eat this, don't do that, sleep in, don't sleep in, go exercise, take these vitamins...). She can't help herself but point out everything she sees that's wrong about what I'm doing or not doing. She makes it so difficult for me to get past my own anxieties and insecurities. If I know that I am particularly weak one day, is it really too much for me to ask her to take it easy on me? It seems that it is and that it leads to the exact opposite of what I would hope for.
When I'm on top of the world, these problems (mostly) go away, so I guess the solution is for me to heal myself without her help. I keep telling myself that she can't help me feel good about myself, and that only I can do that... But it hurts because I feel that all I really need is someone to love and understand me first, before criticizing. I'm so lost right now.
