Self-Injury

[forgetmenot]

when one cannot turn the anger outwards it has to go somewhere
one cannot harm others but they are allowed to harm me
I harm me so i don't harm others i hate me more then i hate the people who harm
i don't make sense but dam it i wish everyone would leave me alone
i don't harm idon't harm anyone so please stop harming me i do that enough on my own

 

[gardens]

Re: self injury

Forgetmenot - I'm not sure I can offer any words of wisdom. But I can feel your pain through your post and just want to show you are not alone here and I'm sending you a huge, big virtual hug.

 

[MHealthJo]

Re: self injury

Hugs and care to you. I am sorry you have such pain.

xx

 

[forgetmenot]

only one way to take the inner pain away dam eh

 

[Cat Dancer]

You don't deserve that pain. You don't deserve it. The best thing would be to do something good for yourself. Something to soothe yourself. Wrap up in a warm blanket and drink some tea. Something to take care of you instead of destroy you. Go against that urge to punish and cause pain to you. You have had enough of that from other people in your life. Talk about your pain here. Get it out of you in a healthy way.

 

[forgetmenot]

It is o k CD i am ok i am going to bed now with warm blanket it just want the sadness and pain to go away that all

 

[Cat Dancer]

Ok. I want you to be ok.

 

[TrustMate]

You've let a bit of that pain out here, and that is the right decision. Don't hold, don't let it eat you up!
I know that in most cases it is so hard to love ourselves. Somehow, it's always the bad things and weak sides we see in ourselves first. But maybe, just for a start..just for tomorrow try to love yourself! Do something just for yourself and don't think about the others. Let it be Forgetmenot kind of a day!

 

[forgetmenot]

i kept so busy so busy i did not want to think or feel so i did everything i could just to keep going tired now think i will try to have some rest
i don't remember much of what happen but i am sorry ok i wish things were different iwish i was stronger i wish i had power i wish i had the choses but they are not mine to make
i am try ing so hard not to do anything impulsive i don't remember harming me i just rember so much pain inside me somuch sadness mm staying here all day will go out tomorrow did not phone my therapist because i know what he would say and he is right give it time just time to see if it will work right time

 

[TrustMate]

Forgetmenot,

Why do you think that the choices are not yours to make? What keeps you from making life decisions?
Hope, you'll feel better! Stay occupied. It definitely helps to clear mind.

 

[forgetmenot]

If i had the power everyone would be safe here with me

 

[TrustMate]

I might not know the whole story, I still feel your concerns, Forgetmenot.
I just think that before making sure that everybody else is safe, you should concentrate on your own well-being. When you manage to control your emotions and actions, after you pay enough time in order to keep yourself safe, then you will be able to think about that power you've just said.

 

[adaptive1]

Can you try to use some acceptance techniques to deal with the pain, it helps me when I am overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings. Like you acknowledge the thoughts as just thoughts and let them be there but you try to separate yourself from them. I don't know if it makes sense but its been helping me lately to try and separate myself from my thoughts. Thinking of you regardless, I know how overwhelming it can be.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

only one way to take the inner pain away dam eh

Actually that's not really true. That may be the only way you know but it is not the only way. And it is certainly not the best or most effective way.

 

[forgetmenot]

i try to separate the pain from me i try saying it is not my pain so don't feel it

just so overwhelming when it hits like a wave taking you under but like a wave it subsides and then you come up for air afterwards but the in between stages it is like a fight to just stay
I understand there are other ways but in that moment sometimes you just want the pain to go so badly one does things that um should not be done

why do i not remember harming me sometimes i don't remember really just i know because of the after effect but it is like i blank out everything
and then i wake up and see what has happen

self harm i know is the the best coping skill i know that and most time i am able to run from the pain and the sadness but not this night

when one has no control it feels like the only way to gain it back

one does not think when there in pain one just reacts to the severity of it.

---------- Post Merged at 08:47 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 08:43 AM ----------

Actually that's not really true. That may be the only way you know but it is not the only way. And it is certainly not the best or most effective way.

You are correct of course it is not the best or most effective way logic is never there though when the pain takes you under

 

[defect]

This might not be the greatest thing to say but I find often lately, that just thinking about cutting is enough for me to get through the moments. The morning reminder isn't there though so I have lessened the guilt about the thoughts because I took no action. Big hugs from someone who experiences this too.

 

[forgetmenot]

Hate me hate living hate this pain it never ends i would take physical pain any time over this pain it never leaves it never leaves

 

[Cat Dancer]

You don't deserve pain, physical or emotional. Don't hurt yourself. It doesn't solve anything or make it better.