Should bullying be a criminal offence?

[Sky Abelar]

I am sorry you feel like you are being bullied here but as a victim of bullying myself how would i have changed me when i did not have those skills
The bullies yes they need help because i do believe they too are in pain or else why would they attack someone so weak.

What you have said is confusing to me i try to understand you want to help both parties here i agree to that statement but Perhaps in you head you feel like you were to blame for those attacks when in fact the blame was never yours
You did nothing but be yourself even if it was a self with low confidence you did not deserve to be attacked.
YOU did not ask for it you did not attracked it the bully yes saw a person that could not fight back but that was not your fault.
I am getting confused but i know noone ever is to blamed for being harmed.
Adults can find therapy and can help themselves aftr the fact but that too takes so much toll on them to relive a past of pain.
I think if physical harm or constant emotional pain in being put on someone then consequences for that behavior must be made or how else will the bully ever change Treatment yes definetly but consequences for their behavior it has to be there

Hi Eclipse,

Please try not to make assumptions. When I said that I attracted bullies, that does not mean that I was at fault, or to be blamed, or could have avoided it as a child.

When I was a child, however, I did feel that I was being picked on because there was something bad about me -- of course this was not true. I continued to have problems with this throughout my life until I healed the emotional wounding that happened to me as a child. When I healed, and learned to love myself for who I am, I no longer "attracted" negative people.

What I am saying here, only has to do with the law of attraction. It is science. Cause and effect. Energy attracts like energy. If I feel bad about myself, I will attract circumstances that confirm it -- this is very much like living life in a state of hynosis. This in no way let's bullies off the hook. They should be held responsible for what they do.

Neither did I mention reliving horrible things. I can honestly say that I can't remember most of the abuse I suffered from my parents as a child. I only can remember what happened after age 8. I never had to try to re-live any of it -- that is not necessary at all.

---------- Post added at 02:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:20 PM ----------

Eclipse, I forgot to answer your question -- "as a victim of bullying myself how would i have changed me when i did not have those skills?"...

You could not have changed a thing, and I never suggested you could have. I know when I was bullied as a child, there wasn't a thing I could do. It was only, as an adult that I came to have the choice to accept healing and grow. It was only after I healed my emotional wounding that I realized that I was not at fault for what I suffered as a child. What caused me to seek healing was simply that I was miserable and couldn't continue with my life as I was. I think I read every self-help book I could lay my hands on. I went to therapists and new age healers, and psychiatrists. I was determined to stop the suffering and that's what I think has to happen with anyone. They must want to be happy and have a good life so much that they will pursue it like a hungry jaguar stalking it's prey.

 

[forgetmenot]

I am not making assumption i am trying to figure out in my head what you are trying to say To heal one has to relive some of that pain one has to look at what caused the low self esteem so yes reliving some of that past is necessary

i do see what you are trying to say but how can one apply science to human reactions we are not things we are humans with conscience and we know right from wrong

energy attracks like energy law of physics how does that apply to humans you are taking that statement out of context

The bully sees a victim one that heor she can abuse and hurt that is all that is happening here no physics are involved just me thinking out loud i am not making any assumptions i am seeing things in my head my way not yours sorry if this is upsetting to you

 

[Sky Abelar]

I am not making assumption i am trying to figure out in my head what you are trying to say To heal one has to relive some of that pain one has to look at what caused the low self esteem so yes reliving some of that past is necessary

i do see what you are trying to say but how can one apply science to human reactions we are not things we are humans with conscience and we know right from wrong

energy attracks like energy law of physics how does that apply to humans you are taking that statement out of context

The bully sees a victim one that heor she can abuse and hurt that is all that is happening here no physics are involved just me thinking out loud i am not making any assumptions i am seeing things in my head my way not yours sorry if this is upsetting to you

Eclipse, the assumption was that -- attracting = at fault or to be blamed. I am not upset or angry, and I appreciate that you are willing to discuss this. That is something that too many people will not do. They decide what is, and what they believe and they are closed down to ever learning something new.

"The internal dialogue is what grounds people in the daily world. The world is such and such or so and so, only because we talk to ourselves about its being such and such and so and so. We also choose our paths as we talk to ourselves. Thus we repeat the same choices over and over until the day we die, because we keep on repeating the same internal talk over and over until the day we die. A warrior is aware of this and strives to stop his internal talk." Carlos Castaneda

Anyway, how does energy and physics apply to people?...

We, like everything in existence is made of energy. Our bodies, emotions and thoughts have a frequency or vibration-- this again is science, not voodoo. Have you ever been really angry about something, and the next thing you know someone is yelling at you? This is the law of attraction in action. It's the same as when I went around feeling bad about myself as a child...the next thing I knew some bully had targeted me for abuse.

You said that saying that applying a law of physics to humans is taking it out of context -- that's another assumption

As for having to re-live the pain -- again I don't believe that's a requirement. There is more than one way to heal -- I can certainly say that I never got to where I am using one thing. I learned everything I could. I can say this though...

I believe that if someone cannot re-live or face something terrible that happened to him or her, then life will provide another way of healing for them and if they look for it, there it will be

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

I agree with the part about making bullies responsible for their behaviour. I was suggesting that a natural consequence would be some community involvement, and so on. I believe if a bully did a criminal act (physical harm, slander, damage to property) then for sure something like jail. However not just punitive consequences but therapy as a consequence or result of not understanding the behaviour is bullying, not understanding why he/she is bullying, etc...

The victims are the ones I worry about a bit more, because even though perhaps the bullies get consequences, what about them? Can a system be put in place so that the bully (or parents of the bully) have to subsidize the victim's therapy or prescriptions or whatever they need? How do we get the bully to show remorse, or at least realize if he/she victimizes someone, then that bully has to something to right the wrong whether indirectly in the community or more directly...

I agree though, that just because someone has low self-esteem, it isn't their fault that they are bullied. I don't think Sky meant it that way, but I could definitely see how it could be interpreted that way. I have heard of perfectly stable people, who have good self-esteem being bullied and then they turn into someone with low self-esteem. After having just a fine self-esteem and then being bullied for years, a victim might develop self-hatred, or at least develop a hatred toward the bully, or to a system that failed to protect the victim. So I don't know if one can generalize that much about how only people with low self esteem are picked out.

In my case, I was bullied at school for a little while in my younger grades, but then moved to another school, and was not bullied anymore. My brother on the other hand, was bullied for quite a few years. My youngest brother didn't get bullied at all. All three of us were raised by a mother who was very dysfunctional, so why didn't we all "attract" bullies?

 

[Sky Abelar]

I agree though, that just because someone has low self-esteem, it isn't their fault that they are bullied. I don't think Sky meant it that way, but I could definitely see how it could be interpreted that way. I have heard of perfectly stable people, who have good self-esteem being bullied and then they turn into someone with low self-esteem. After having just a fine self-esteem and then being bullied for years, a victim might develop self-hatred, or at least develop a hatred toward the bully, or to a system that failed to protect the victim. So I don't know if one can generalize that much about how only people with low self esteem are picked out.

In my case, I was bullied at school for a little while in my younger grades, but then moved to another school, and was not bullied anymore. My brother on the other hand, was bullied for quite a few years. My youngest brother didn't get bullied at all. All three of us were raised by a mother who was very dysfunctional, so why didn't we all "attract" bullies?

No, I certainly wasn't implying fault.

You said, " I have heard of perfectly stable people, who have good self-esteem being bullied and then they turn into someone with low self-esteem" How do you know that they had good self esteem? Self esteem comes from self knowledge, and many people appear to have self esteem who don't. Self knowledge isn't something that's taught in schools. In school we are taught what to be, and what to think -- not to discover ourselves.

As for your last question, why didn't you all attract bullies...

Each of us is a unique individual with our own unique ways of interpreting things. We all form beliefs about ourselves, and about what happened to us, and why it happened. These beliefs are the heart of low self esteem. Perhaps your younger sibling perceived in a different way. When we talk about these things, it leads into other things such as, why would one perceive differently than another who is in the same circumstances? Here's another "round planet theory" -- perhaps the answer is reincarnation. Perhaps we all come into form, from a past life, carrying our core beliefs with us. Since we perceive things through the filter of our beliefs, this would explain different perception and why your younger sibling didn't attract bullies.

It is my opinion that the majority of us have low self esteem due to the effect of the domestication process we all go through as children. Look around at the state of the world and see how we have accepted the unacceptable as normal. some of us have worse self esteem problems than others..depends on lots of factors how it happens.

 

[Daniel E.]

Perhaps we all come into form, from a past life, carrying our core beliefs with us.

Or maybe beliefs in bad karma/reincarnation were a way of maintaining the caste system in India.

Namaste