So...I know I can't exactly dump my family because I don't want to, even though they bug the hell out of me sometimes- I have to learn to deal with it. Some, that are not abusive like my parents- I will keep in touch with. Others, I might keep at a distance, etc.
But what to do when your friends are driving you nuts too? SO, I have a friend that is very passive aggressive. She ignores questions if she doesn't want to answer them, I have caught her lying because she doesn't want to admit the "real" issue (not a problem, but we were discussing what you can do with excel) in order to get answers she wants in other ways, she constantly reads into things..and she ends up being paranoid because of it. She tens to manipulate people since we were in highschool I learned that she used to say things to a friend so that way her friend would not like me, but whenever she was close to me- she would say things to me about the other one, so that I would not like her and vice versa...and she still does this..15 years later!
SO, I know i can't change her. But, I am constantly annoyed and frustrated by interacting with her because of this. When I was in high school I didn't know any better..but over the years I have learned to be open with my feelings and this behavior really annoys me. I get frustrated and upset and I don't like feeling this way. And, I feel like I can't really get close to her because I do not know if she is telling me the truth, or if she is trying to figure something out, or if she is thinking one thing instead of another or what.
We recently had an argument and part of the reason was she was "reading too much into things" and so she apologized because she says she knows she tends to do that..but that next time I shouldn't say anything that would lead her to read something else into it..???
Now, she was joking, but only partially...as this is part of how she does this..
SO- what should I do? This is a friend I have had since high school and really one of the only ones I keep in touch with -especially recently cuz she moved close to my city, but I get frustrated often and I don't know how much I can trust her because I want to spend less time with her when she does certain things. I don't want to lose a friend, but I don't want to constantly be annoyed either. I partially want to tell her I can't deal with this and walk away. But, I know that is not what I really want- I wish things were different. But, I know that is not something that can happen either.
So, what do you do? Any similar circumstance? What have you done? Do you just learn to deal with people like this and realize that maybe you won't have the close friendship you wish you had?
But what to do when your friends are driving you nuts too? SO, I have a friend that is very passive aggressive. She ignores questions if she doesn't want to answer them, I have caught her lying because she doesn't want to admit the "real" issue (not a problem, but we were discussing what you can do with excel) in order to get answers she wants in other ways, she constantly reads into things..and she ends up being paranoid because of it. She tens to manipulate people since we were in highschool I learned that she used to say things to a friend so that way her friend would not like me, but whenever she was close to me- she would say things to me about the other one, so that I would not like her and vice versa...and she still does this..15 years later!
SO, I know i can't change her. But, I am constantly annoyed and frustrated by interacting with her because of this. When I was in high school I didn't know any better..but over the years I have learned to be open with my feelings and this behavior really annoys me. I get frustrated and upset and I don't like feeling this way. And, I feel like I can't really get close to her because I do not know if she is telling me the truth, or if she is trying to figure something out, or if she is thinking one thing instead of another or what.
We recently had an argument and part of the reason was she was "reading too much into things" and so she apologized because she says she knows she tends to do that..but that next time I shouldn't say anything that would lead her to read something else into it..???
Now, she was joking, but only partially...as this is part of how she does this..SO- what should I do? This is a friend I have had since high school and really one of the only ones I keep in touch with -especially recently cuz she moved close to my city, but I get frustrated often and I don't know how much I can trust her because I want to spend less time with her when she does certain things. I don't want to lose a friend, but I don't want to constantly be annoyed either. I partially want to tell her I can't deal with this and walk away. But, I know that is not what I really want- I wish things were different. But, I know that is not something that can happen either.
So, what do you do? Any similar circumstance? What have you done? Do you just learn to deal with people like this and realize that maybe you won't have the close friendship you wish you had?
