So here I am, wondering what to do next.....

[helpplease]

Hi,

I would like to understand why I behave the way I do.

When I have PMS I become ratty. I behave like I am bitter and angry and I am mean to my husband and kids. I don't know I'm doing it. My marriage is harmed by my bahaviour.

I have sexual fantasies about mild humiliation. I don't understand why my brain likes this. I wish I could enjoy sex without having to think about these things.

I have been treated for depression previously. It was mentioned that although I was not physically abused in my childhood I was psychologically. My parents were very hands off. I did and still do feel damaged and desperate for affection at times. It seems that however much attention I get it's never enough.

I don't feel depressed now but the glass is always half empty. I am very defensive.

I want to be happier. I have every reason to be very happy in my life.

Advice on how to unravel my problems would be much appreciated.

 

[Retired]

Welcome to Psychlinks. Sorry to hear about the difficulty you are having.

As you are probably aware, the change in hormone levels during your menstrual cycle are affecting brain chemistry that affects mood and behaviours.

You may find the Mayo Clinic article on PMS informative and my provide further insights.

Have you spoken to your doctor or gynecologist about your PMS? Are you still taking medication for depression?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

How long ago were you treated for depression? Did you take any medication at the time? Did you see a counsellor or therapist then?

As Steve suggests, the hormonal (endocrine) system is a complex one where alterations in the levels of one hormone have a kind of domino effect as other hormones adjust to the new level. This is repeated with your brain chemistry because of tight integration between neurotransmitter levels and the endocrine system. So just as changes in brain chemistry can affect mood, anxiety, anger, etc., changes in hormones may have similar effects indirectly.

Have you looked into some of the threadfs on dysthymia? You say that you don't believe you are currently depressed but there are different levels of depression and it's possible you don't recognize chroninc low level depression because it just feels "normal" for you.

See:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/depression/4775-what-is-dysthymia.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/depression/15045-dysthymia-and-depression.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/depression/18690-what-about-the-milder-depression-dysthymic-disorder.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/depression/13202-dysthymia-dysthymic-disorder.html

​

 

[helpplease]

Hello, and thank you for your helpful replies and links.
I was diagnosed with Chronic Dysthymia & Depression (2001) & looking at the symptoms it seems that I still have the dysthymia. I have made an appointment to see my doctor and may try some antidepressants.
I did try some back then but didn't get on very well with them but did find a good therapist who got me out of the hole at the time.
Thanks again, it's all progress.:2thumbs:

---------- Post added at 08:24 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:52 PM ----------

Something else that has dawned on me. I had a Merina contraceptive fitted about 10 months ago. My pms was definitely better for the first 8 months. It has side effects of tiredness and depression.

 

[moondust]

Just wanted to welcome you here, but also let you know to not let the humiliation fantasy bother you too much, or make you feel like it's abnormal. I get like that too sometimes and at first it disturbed me that I had those fantasies, but have come to find out it's quite common in some people, and most of the time it has nothing to do with any kind of childhood abuse. I think with some people, if they are normally high strung, being submissive/dominated gives them a "break", whereas many doms are actually shy, quiet, somewhat submissive in nonsexual context. That seems to be the general concensus I get, anyway.

 

[helpplease]

That's re-assuring thanks. Just wondering how you found that out please?