More threads by H011yHawkJ311yBean

I am glad to hear from a few people on this forum that I am not the only one going through this. Well I feel bad that they are going through what I am going through, but I feel better that I am not alone...

I had to distance myself from my parents, right? It's almost like instead of them dying and leaving me an orphan, it feels like something inside of me died. And it's sort of like, instead of my parents dying, I let them go, and they are dead to me in a way. Still pretty harsh, right?

So I saw my therapist a couple of times. One of the things he said to me was that this was a healthy decision for me. No doubt about it. The other thing he said was that my intentions were honourable. I was doing this to protect myself. The other thing was, I was not a bad person. Also, there isn't anything I can do about my mother; she is what she is and she refuses to change and I can't change that, so I will have to learn not to dwell on that. He told me to repeat those sorts of statements to myself when I meditate.

It may be a necessary step, but it's a really hard one. Parents tell us things that get stuck in our heads as a way of thinking. We didn't just think it, we lived and breathed it. My therapist explained it this way: even if you know logically that it was not your fault and you had to close them out and walk away just so you could survive and live a healthy life, there is still some kind of recording playing the background (subconscious) that is whispering to you that your healthy choices were wrong, and that you are a bad person, and that you should feel shame and guilt. So in order to combat this in myself, he suggested I try those positive statements I mentioned earlier, and repeat them, and make my subconscious eventually accept this as habit and truth instead of all the crap that I was raised on. That's gonna take some doing, but I am willing to try anything right now.

It took me years to finally say "ENOUGH!" and I have felt a level of peace I have never had before, but still somewhere deep inside I feel like a jerk. I worry if I did the right thing. I have people who support me, but I don't think they quite understand the turmoil. It's like I logically know that it was healthy to break off from them but I feel something isn't quiet agreeing with my logic...
 
It's like I logically know that it was healthy to break off from them but I feel something isn't quiet agreeing with my logic...
Sometimes we have to let logic rule our hearts, sometimes logic and heart are in agreement sometimes not, which is why forums like here can and do help clear the path that must be taken for survival (for some) in the 1st place and healing.

I believe that those of us who have let go or walked away or stayed away from those people who were supposed to be there for us etc etc, only did so After exhausting all other avenues of trying to keep that relationship alive in some way and at the expense of ourselves.
 
[h=2]from the thread -- Re: Walked away from my family and still struggling[/h]
It might help if you can think of what happened as something that was "forced to happen".

Constructive desertion might fit here.
Constructive desertion happens when one partner causes the other partner to leave the marital home through misconduct. If one partner is forced to leave the home because the other’s misconduct, he or she has been constructively deserted. In this regime, the conduct of one spouse makes it impossible for the other to stay in the marriage.

Reworded maybe it would look similar to this I think:
Constructive desertion happens when a Parent causes a child to leave the family through misconduct. If a child is forced to leave the family because of Parent's misconduct, he or she has been constructively deserted. In this regime, the conduct of the Parent make it IMPOSSIBLE for the child to stay in the family.

Thank you for that, Always Changing. THAT makes me feel a lot better...
 
Hey, Steve! You are the man! I have not had a migraine in almost three straight weeks. I have not used Zomig for ages, and as soon as I fee what I think is a symptom of a migraine I pop my 550mg Naproxen... I felt really groggy and tired and was starting to feel ill so I took one, and didn't have my usual nasty two-days-before-my-menstruation-migraine (sorry if some people find that subject indelicate). Just felt really extra-tired but didn't have to miss work. So I still knew it was coming up. But I almost doubted it because there was no pain! Amazing! Mind you, it hasn't been this good since the Cipralex, either, so it's probably both.

Thanks for suggesting the Naproxen and going to see the doctor about it (again) lol...

I am still on 5 hour shift restrictions, and also restricted to 5 consecutive workdays in a row, but maybe after my vacation I can go up to 6 hours and just keep the consecutive day restriction. I saw my therapist twice so far, then he went on vacation, and I see him again on the 29th... And I also see my physician at the end of the month (going to check my thyroid levels) among other things...

I just can't believe the difference! 8D It's awesome!

Thanks everyone else, too, for letting me vent and your encouraging words!
 

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I didn't even know something other than my migraine meds could stop a migraine!

Over the years many different strategies have been employed to relieve migraine, and most of these have been symptomatic relief by using pain relievers. The problem is that over use of pain relievers can actually make the migraine cycle worse by causing rebound headaches, requiring the use of more pain relievers.

Migraine is thought to be a combination of vascular effect (vaso dilation) and inflammation. Sometimes anti-inflammatoriy medication can be used to relieve migraine, where a medication such as naproxen acts as an anti-inflamatoryas well as providing some pain relief can be effective, but my understanding is over use of and NSAID such as naproxen can also result in rebound headaches if over used.

As I mentioned earlier, many doctors prescribe the combination of a migraine specific medication from the class of drugs known as triptans (like Zomig and Imitrex) combined with naproxen to address both mechanisms of action thought to be responsible for migraine.

Used alone, naproxen can sometimes relieve a migraine, thereby sparing the use of a triptan, which is limited in the number of doses that shouldbe used in a month.

If neither of these provide relief, the doctor should be seen to investigate preventative medications that can prevent migraine proactively. These strategies come with their own risks and potential for adverse reactions, so like every treatment option, benefits vs risks must be considered.
 
Right, well, having never heard of Naproxen/Anaprox before, and just trying different things (advil by itself, acetaminophen by itself, or combinations of advile and acetaminophen, and various types like PM, robaxacet/robaxacel, slow release/arthritis, migraine liquid caps, etc) and never being able to stop the migraines from manifesting in the first place, this was a happy surprise. I don't take Naproxen very often, just when I feel something is off like my neck hurts or I feel the old twinge in my left eye, or something along those lines. But the very little I take it I haven't had the need for the Zomig. lol Well, not yet anyways...

Don't worry about me overusing, I don't take it every single day, just when I feel something that I suspect is going to turn into a migraine, especially around the beginning/end of my cycle (this is the first time in years that I wasn't laid out with ice on my head, a heating pad on my neck, and Zomig in my system, sleeping for 10 extra hours, in a dark cool room... lol)... Since the Cipralex I haven't hardly even noticed any less major migraines.

Since they have me on such a low dose of Cipralex (10 mg) and I rarely take Naproxen (and so far it's been completely Zomig-free, which is record-breaking for me) it shouldn't have any adverse affects. However if I was on a higher dose of Cipralex and used Naproxen or Zomig a lot more, that might not be good. I could go into what they call Hyperserotonemia; Serotonergic syndrome -- Serotonin syndrome - PubMed Health But it's very rare, and especially in the amounts I take the drugs. My doctor and pharmacists are aware of the risk, and if one or the other has to be increased they will likely find me something else so there isn't a chance of interaction. But so far I haven't noticed anything really out of the ordinary...
 
OK...

I just came back from my appointment with my psychologist today.

Got some interesting results. The first couple of times I visited him I was all over the place, in a bit of a panic, kind of flipping from one topic to the next, talking fast like a chipmunk.

He gave me some breathing relaxation tips... Because I was still struggling with separating myself from my mom (and dad), I was advised to do my deep breathing but to add things to my inner dialogue like "I am a good person" and "I am doing this to protect myself" and that sort of thing.

This time I visited I can talk to him without sounding like a chipmunk, and my thoughts are more ordered, and I am calmer. I did mention that the last couple of weeks I have been having vivid and weird dreams that wake me up and then random emotional memories pop into my head and then I can't sleep and I get really tired.

So he thinks that now that I am relaxing, my mind is noticing that perhaps I can handle some of this emotional issues that I "swept under the rug" at the time they happened. He thinks I should schedule a time where I actually focus on reminiscing so that I don't do it as much at night. He thinks if I deal with these memories as best as I can during the day, and actually deal with the emotions (ie: crying, etc) then I am taking responsibility for my feelings. I am empowering myself to deal with them, and then afterward I can do something relaxing and then hopefully be calm enough to move on with the normal routine of the day. My husband may have to concentrate on NOT jumping to the rescue and let me deal with them, but hopefully it won't be so bad that I will be bawling or anything.

I am a little nervous about doing this, but I might just write it down/journal it and see if it's easier for me to deal with it that way. I have done it before, but it's been a long time... I am also kind of looking forward to this. It didn't even cross my mind that I should deal with them during the day, because the thoughts don't intrude while I am doing day-to-day things, just when I am woken up in the middle of the night! lol

Just posting this in case someone else is having similar issues, because it might help you, too! 8)
 
I am a little nervous about doing this, but I might just write it down/journal it and see if it's easier for me to deal with it that way.
I can relate to you being a little nervous as you embark on this. I think its wonderful that you have such a supportive partner and husband in this. :) So many people find they have to do this work alone.
A while back I did a lot of writing too and it helped enormously.
Just a word of caution.. mind yourself and use all the supports at your disposal to help you not to get too overwhelmed. (may happen may not..)

Take care ok.

:)
 
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