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More threads by kelsischanging

K

kelsischanging

Member
Tomorrow I start a new dual diagnosis program. I have bipolar disorder and apparerntly prett bad alcoholism...I tried to start another out patient program about two weeks ago but they would not admit me unless I went inpatient for at least a week to detox. That is just not possible in my life right now. In the past two weeks I have seen that that may have been a neccessary step but it is just NOT possible. I got a BIG BIG promotion at work and I just can not disappear for a weak or two...any way...I hope this new program tomorrow works. I THINK I'm ready to give 100 percent but the tought of giving up alcohol completely is a little scary.

After college, I was under employed and had to move back in with my parents. I'm hoping this new job enables me to move out on my own. Alcohol is such a big part of my family...already tonight, I was telling my mom about it and she said, "you don't have to give it up completely right?"...plus, there is ALWAYS, ALWAYS alcohol in our refrigerator....I asked my mom if she could just remove it from there and she said, "why should we be punished for your problems."...my entire family has a problem...I just need to get out...soon...hopefully soon....
 
A

Andy

MVP
Good luck with the new program Kelsey. I hope your promotion does help you to get out on your own so you can be in a sober environment. :)
 
K

kelsischanging

Member
I am just really really ready to hopefully get more sleep....I can't keep living like this...3 or 4 hours of sleep and then drinking so much cafeine at work until I can go home and drink alcohol....I am litterally falling asleep at my desk...it's horrible....when I staart my new amazing job in two weeks I CAN NOT be falling asleep at my desk...I will need to be on top of my game. PLUS, I got my credit card bill today. I usually charge my tabs at bars, it shocked me how much money I spent at bars in the last month and I knew that was not the total because I put some of it on my debit card and paid some in cash. It was an eye opener. I can not afford to keep doing this. For so many reasons...my healthy, economically, emotionally, socially, ect.

This is just crazy. The fact that is is 2:07am and I am still up even though I have to get up at 6:30 is not good, plus one of my meds for my bipolar disorder makes me very tired and I am supposed to have 8 hours of sleep with it. I will be falling asleep when I am drving tomorrow :( What am I doing?? Do I care more about alcohol than my job, career, social interactions, family, ect?? It would seem like that right now..
 
MHealthJo

MHealthJo

MVP, Forum Supporter
MVP
Alcohol is definitely not a kind master hun so I am so happy for you that you can see this, and for what you are doing to get out from under it.

Hope you can feel proud for taking the steps you have taken. Hope that soon you can be enjoying the healthy positive feelings that can come just from knowing you have made some really healthy but difficult steps. Hope you'll feel pride in that. We do! :) :)
 
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