Sparrow
Member
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house...
There were bottles of booze left around by some louse.
When through the North window there came such a yell,
I sprang to my feet to see what the hell.
And what to my eyes should I pray see,
But eight drunken reindeer caught up in a tree!
And there in the branches, was a man with a sleigh.
I knew it was Santa, quite tiddley and gay.
Staggering nearer and nearer those eight reindeer did come,
While he belched and he burped and called them by name.
On Whiskey! On Vodka! we ain't got all night
You too Gin and Brandy, now do it all right!
Clamber up on the roof, and get off this wall,
Get going you rummies we've got a long haul!
So up on the roof went the reindeer and sleigh,
But a tree branch hit Santa before he could sway.
And then to my ears like the roll of a barrel,
A hell of a noise, that was no Christmas Carol.
So I pulled in my head and cocked a sharp ear,
Down the chimney he plunged, landing smack on his rear.
He was plump and chubby and tried to stand right,
But he didn't fool me, he was as high as a kite.
He spoke not a word but went straight to work,
And missed half the stockings, the drunken old jerk.
Then putting his thumb to the end of his nose,
He fluttered his fingers as he quoted quaint prose.
He sprung for his sleigh at hasty a pace,
He slipped on a shingle and slid on his face.
But I heard him call back, as he passed out of sight,
Merry Christmas you lushes, now really get tight!
There were bottles of booze left around by some louse.
When through the North window there came such a yell,
I sprang to my feet to see what the hell.
And what to my eyes should I pray see,
But eight drunken reindeer caught up in a tree!
And there in the branches, was a man with a sleigh.
I knew it was Santa, quite tiddley and gay.
Staggering nearer and nearer those eight reindeer did come,
While he belched and he burped and called them by name.
On Whiskey! On Vodka! we ain't got all night
You too Gin and Brandy, now do it all right!
Clamber up on the roof, and get off this wall,
Get going you rummies we've got a long haul!
So up on the roof went the reindeer and sleigh,
But a tree branch hit Santa before he could sway.
And then to my ears like the roll of a barrel,
A hell of a noise, that was no Christmas Carol.
So I pulled in my head and cocked a sharp ear,
Down the chimney he plunged, landing smack on his rear.
He was plump and chubby and tried to stand right,
But he didn't fool me, he was as high as a kite.
He spoke not a word but went straight to work,
And missed half the stockings, the drunken old jerk.
Then putting his thumb to the end of his nose,
He fluttered his fingers as he quoted quaint prose.
He sprung for his sleigh at hasty a pace,
He slipped on a shingle and slid on his face.
But I heard him call back, as he passed out of sight,
Merry Christmas you lushes, now really get tight!
